Victoria and
Starbeast; my monthly thanks to you for your comments on my attempt at SFF Change.
Okay, my shortlist and vote:
Springs – In pain we love – great title and delightfully sad; the last line is beautiful.
Bowler1 – For Whom The Bell Tolls – the image of children huddled together presumably petrified of the mere anticipation of the siren/bell let alone its ringing is a vivid one. It made me think of war orphans and children in care and those that have to age before their time. The last two lines sum it up nicely.
Ratsy – Classes are Grate – This really hit the genre/theme target spot on for me. And again, the image of an underclass under the pavement - seeing the shoes tramp back and forth above - is a great one. I also love the little detail that under classes suffer poor literacy with his struggling pronunciation of
Revolution. It’s a really personal story of a massive world.
jastius – When Sally was three… a horrible thought! Pulling a life’s license retroactively is so cold. We think of population control in terms of
before the birth, and how inhumane the stemming of this right to procreate is, no matter how overpopulated this world is. Nice touch too, with the buds.
Chrispenycate – Plus c’est le même chose – for snappiness and being such a tidy compact tale whilst giving a sense of a massive world. With the current government making heartbreaking slashes to arts in State Education we’re risking a (generational?) dearth of artists in the near future. This story made me think of that – rather be an earthbound scientist than a thinker? <shudder>
Lenny – Healthy Small Talk – the pace of this is simply perfect. The names Barry and Emma are perfect; so ‘normal’. The darkness is more sinister though; how lovely it would be to have such pleasant interactions with people – especially amongst the dreadful mouth-breathers incapable of independent thought when giving ‘customer service’ here in the UK. But I’d rather argue with someone in Starbucks that no, I don’t want to give my name when I order a tea/coffee; or fight for my refund because the clothes don’t fit, than have a world like this. What next? Bokanovskification?
TDZ – Anything you say…. So, what scares me is this is sci-fi and so that suggests a future to me, but your story could just as easily be set in current times. So; another thing that winds me up in today’s overly-litigious culture ends up in a great story. God, these stories are so cathartic for me
. I get fed up when I hear people moaning on about their offense-o-meter maxing out when they watched <insert program> on TV. I wonder if the ‘News’ broadcasters would end up in one of your internment camps for asking scab-picky questions such as ‘how did you feel?’ when interviewing a family about the loss of someone dear. That’s just as offensive as Jim Davidson
(However, I’d be really upset if Seth MacFarlane ended up in one of the camps…) Anyway, I like the comment on today’s society.
In the end it’s a real scrap between
Chrispenycate and
Lenny. They both have a nice tight pace and use the word count restrictions so well, giving such a strong sense of a complex world. But, my almost-arbitrary decision ended in
Chrispenycate’s favour because it has dialogue and personal voice to expose the story.
pH
