Discussion thread -- seventy-five word challenge October 2013

Thanks for the listing, jastius. :)

Ooh, and a vote, from pm. Thank you! :):)
 
Many thanks to Starbeast and Victoria for the reviews - and a special thanks to Victoria for her vote!! And thanks also for those who added me to a list, be it short or long or undefined!
 
The pleasure to be obtained from this month's entries was far from being insubstantial; but as one is obliged to choose, here goes....


(In the following, each category is ordered by time of posting):


Honourable Mentions:
  • Streetwalker by Tywin
  • The Ballad of Bobby Ballantyne by Alchemist
  • Girls and Boys Come Out to Play by Perpetual Man
  • Ghost Stories by Culhwch
Runners Up:
  • Letting Go. by mosaix
  • Unlucky 13 by The Judge
  • The Deviant... by Brev
Winner:
  • Love Goes By Haps by paranoid marvin
 
The poll is now closed and we have a winner:

Congratulations, The Judge!
​
 
Yay! Conga rats, Yer Honour.


Now, here's one I prepared earlier (when it looked as if no-one had liked my piece, which wasn't surprising, as even I didn't find it easy to decode after. For the appreciation which came later, many thanks.
# # #​
As I realised, too abstruse

Nine points of the law​

Shaman's oldest as profession
Predicating carnal vice.
Now arrested for possession
Power demonic, for a price.
Carbonised at law's discretion.
Quasilegal sacrifice.

Natural products, made to measure
Each emotion stimulate
Potions, pills or powdered pleasure
Modifying mental state.
Compounds born of excess leisure,
Futureless and intestate

Incubus or blood-crazed killer
Choose your spirit, cocktail, straight.
Personality distiller
Ultimate sensation wait.
We'll take over, we'll direct you
Exorcising won't protect you.

I think it was Heinlein who pointed out that the medicine man, or protopriest, was the earliest speciality in primitive society, well before those who trade sexual favours (and who are in large part part-timers, rather that true professionals). The shaman seeks out consciousness-modifying substances, naturally occurring or blended, cooked and treated to obtain the required results. Thus he is the pusher, the medical student brewing LSD and extasy in his dorm bathroom.

But the shaman also calls spirits, brings back the long dead, and this one offers his clients the kick of being taken over, acting out fantasies with no guilt, pleasure without morning after blues – possession of the demoniac style.

And I tried to get this into seventy-five words, and maintain rhythm and rhyme withal? I must be deranged, possessed by the malign ghost of a failed poet.

And here are a couple of other entries I rejected, feeling the time had come round to leave the prosaic.


Domination​

"I wish you wouldn't manifest while I'm with a client"

Ten years hadn't changed her. The leather concealed any wrinkles, but still slim and athletic.

The client resembled my ectoplasmic form down to the whip marks and burn scars. His rope welts were under the ropes, and he was flaccid from terror, but otherwise…

"You should have charged extra. As when strangling me," I intoned. Melodramatic, but there are standards. "He'll live. Unlike you."



Leibestot​

Relief and purest ecstasy to escape from the drips and drugs, a body grown too tired to be forced into life any further.

Benevolent machines that have been torturing blood out of the body, filtering out wastes, adding nutrients then obliging it back through reluctant tissues recognise defeat, and stop; the blazing archway of life's ending beckons on to endless painlessness.

Afterphysi​
(same building as aftermath, but a floor higher).​

The empty hall still resonates
Reverberating drumkit stilled
Dust settles where the eighteen wheeler left.

The holographic vocalist
Extinguished now, his rôle fulfilled
Resides on hard disc, of vivacity bereft.

The AC thirties cool, valves ping
The steaming fetid air is chilled
The straining girders lighten'd of the PA's heft

A scent hysterical, once audience.
A star by malady was killed
And present's future from the past is reft.

The once and future Queen
 
Never more a bride's maid your honor! Congratulations, well done and chillingly well written.

Now would you share what you felt constituted a "true" ghost story?
 
Geez, chrispy, that last one is truly awful! And I mean that in the best possible way! :D But I still like the one you posted the best.

Now tell me, did you really mean "intestate" as a pun, or did it just happen in my head?

Congrats, TJ! Can't wait to see what you have in store for us this time!

And many thanks to Mith for the Silver Listing, Boneman and Tisiphone for shortlistings, and jastius for Promotion! :D
 
Congratulations TJ! A nice clean win, without the fuss and heartbreak of a tiebreak!

(Thanks to Tisiphone and Ursa for the mentions)
 
thanks jastiuis for the...ummm... even shorter listing (i think i got that right?)

and thanks a lot for the runner up status, TJ. i'm glad what i wrote was a ghost story!

and also congrats to the judge for a well-deserved win...
 
Thank you Jastius for your "shorter list" ing.

I nearly fell out of bed when I saw that I had two additional votes this morning. I am incredibly pleased and surprised. A huge thank you to both Culhwch and Tisiphone for your votes.

Congratulations The Judge! Well done.

I can't wait for November's!
 
Congratulations to The Judge!

And thanks jastius, paranoid marvin and Ursa for the mentions/shortlists.

To November!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
chrispenycate October 2018 seventy-five word discussion thread Writing Challenges 335
Ursa major Discussion thread -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE May 2014 Writing Challenges 339
Hex Discussion Thread -- Seventy-five word writing challenge -- February 2014 Writing Challenges 299
Ursa major Discussion Thread -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE -- January 2014 Writing Challenges 360
Culhwch Discussion Thread -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE -- December 2013 Writing Challenges 303

Similar threads


Back
Top