DISCUSSION -- June 2015 75-word Writing Challenge

[Bowler1]

Congratulations Kerry and a theme with RAY GUNS is always a very popular choice for next months competition!

 

[Ursa major]

Kerry is dancing in the world of no internet

Dancing...?

Don't you mean 'suffering from the most terrible case of Chrons depravation imaginable'?

 

[TitaniumTi]

Congratulations Kerrybuchanan!

 

[chrispenycate]

Dancing...?

Don't you mean 'suffering from the most terrible case of Chrons depravation imaginable'?

When you have an unscratchable itch, don't you squirm about and wiggle? (actually, it's even worse with a scratchable one you're forbidden to)
And doesn't this seem a adequate description for a number of modern dance styles?

Thank you very much, Harebrain, for my vote - (whoo-hoo, two - haven't managed that in a year). I wouldn't have seen you as a poetic enthusiast.

Oh, and pigeons are easy enough to capture, but homing/carrier pigeons will only go back to where they were hatched, not go and look for people.

 

[Moonbat]

They did the itch, they did the Chrons depravation itch. Sounds like a hit song to me.

 

[willwallace]

Congrats, Kerry

 

[Venusian Broon]

Well done, future Kerry.

 

[Kerrybuchanan]

I have wifi (parked outside a café with wifi lol!). Thank you so much for all the votes. And a huge thank you to Jo for keeping me in touch by text too. Is this beginning to sound a bit like the Oscars?

Oh and Moonbat? Do you know anything about the pigeon that just dropped something wet and smelly on my head?

Moving on before I get wheel clamped....

Edit: yes. What Ursa said.

 

[ratsy]

Congrats Kerry! Well done.

Sorry TDZ, wear the dress with pride because you came very close...and Jo, another valiant effort!

Thanks for the mentions I got this month.

For my entry I was sitting at home looking out the window, and I thought...'What would happen if I looked out and the sky was filled with space ships?' 'Would I go to work?' Then the story came to me...a man whose wife was sick and had always worn a necklace, and he never really knew what that stone on the end was. She told him everything about the impending attack on her deathbed, but he had chalked it up to the morphine. Her dying breath was 'when they come, wear the stone'
As foolish as it seemed at the time, when he saw his city's population floating in the sky towards the ships, all at the same time...the screaming, the horror...he was as thankful as he was confused by the knowledge his wife had had. The screaming stopped eventually, and the ships disappeared. He was left there, the lone man on the planet...unless there were others with similar necklaces or stones...

So thanks for any kind words. I think I may try to turn this into something, or at least a short story.

 

[holland]

Congrats Kerrybuchanan

Thanks to everyone who mentioned me (a lot of you, which felt really good ) and special thanks to AJB and Germinad for the votes

I got inspiration for my entry when I was reading some crazy (kinda) scientific theories explaining the irregular and unpredictable seasons in A Song of Ice and Fire a.k.a. Game of Thrones.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

Holds bridesmaid dress very tightly. Never know when it's needed.

My title this month came from a poem by Konstantin Simonov, written in 1941. I first came across is when Jill Morrell, who was hostage John McCarthy's girlfriend, spoke about it being shared with her. I know @Hex knows the poem as she referenced it in a title once, too, but for those who don't, it's lovely:

to Valentina Serova

Wait for me, and I'll come back!
Wait with all you've got!
Wait, when dreary yellow rains
Tell you, you should not.
Wait when snow is falling fast,
Wait when summer's hot,
Wait when yesterdays are past,
Others are forgot.
Wait, when from that far-off place,
Letters don't arrive.
Wait, when those with whom you wait
Doubt if I'm alive.

Wait for me, and I'll come back!
Wait in patience yet
When they tell you off by heart
That you should forget.
Even when my dearest ones
Say that I am lost,
Even when my friends give up,
Sit and count the cost,
Drink a glass of bitter wine
To the fallen friend -
Wait! And do not drink with them!
Wait until the end!

Wait for me and I'll come back,
Dodging every fate!
"What a bit of luck!" they'll say,
Those that would not wait.
They will never understand
How amidst the strife,
By your waiting for me, dear,
You had saved my life.
Only you and I will know
How you got me through.
Simply - you knew how to wait -
No one else but you.

1941

 

[Perpetual Man]

So mine:

The initial idea was basically to have a twisted causal loop, that saw the protagonist arriving and departing at the same time. I did this with about 30 words (which surprised me), but then thought why not reverse the story and repeat it so it really does go back and forwards repeating itself as infinitum:

So the initial form of the story was this:

Appearing above the ground,
Rotors spewing golden fire,
Robot craft glimmered caught in a causal loop.
It seemed to expand into a nova,
Vanishing into tomorrow or yesteryear.
Earth held its breath as the timeship left –
Vanishing into tomorrow or yesteryear,
It seemed to materialise from a nova,
Robot craft creating a glimmering causal loop.
Rotors consuming brilliant fire,
Appearing above the ground.

I did say there were seven things to find:

1. The whole thing is a palingram, it virtually reads the same from start to finish or finish to start. It can be read both ways. Thanks to LittleStar for the word for that.

2. If you take the first six lines and take the first letter of each line you get a lovely little acrostic 'A R R I V E'

3. If you take the last six lines (including the middle line again) you get a reversed acrostic 'EVIRRA' which is of course Arrive backwards

4. Which means if you put the two together you have a palindrome 'ARRIVEVIRRA'

5. If you take the first six lines and take the last letter from each line you get another acrostic 'D E P A R T'

6. And you can guess the next bit - Acrostic from the bottom up - 'T R A P E D'

7. Which means you get another palindrome 'DEPARTRAPED'

 

[A. Fare Wells]

Newsy month has kept me hopping lately trying to beat deadlines for my paycheck, so I didn't get a chance to read the stories to vote before the period ended. Having now done so, among all the worthy entries this month, making my shortlist were ratsy, tim kinder, ashelyne, bedlamite and, of course, Kerry Buch's.

Grats Kerry and thanks willwallace and Ashelyne for the mentions.

 

[Cat's Cradle]

Yay Kerry!! Congrats, Kerry, on a terrific story, and win! Looking forward to your choices for next month. I knew you'd win one of these.

Condolences to TDZ & Jo--it was so close. I really thought we'd have a vote-off.

And Tim, what a clever poem! So much going on...it was tremendously effective, in both directions!

 

[Juliana]

@Tim James I hadn't spotted DEPART/TRAPPED. Very cool!

 

[Bob Senior]

JASTIUS-------Thank YOU for the vote, it made my day, no it made my month. It had me doing back-flips (actually I fell backwards while climbing the stairs but I landed on my feet so I told everyone that I planned it that way).

KERRY-----CONGRATS on the win !


Funny story ????----While in the hospital I keep the TV on 'round the clock, awake or asleep. When I got home (still on heavy duty pain meds), I started writing my story ( it was a good one ). Later, after the drugs wore off I saw my story being advertized on TV, a new movie coming to theaters next week, what are the odds? JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS!!!

 

[Starbeast]

Congratulations KERRYBUCHANAN​

I was about to start a thread concerning the 26 very good, most accomplished writers in the challenge, who didn't get a single vote. Including me. I intended to relate this back to my earlier posts about the high caliber of writing in the challenges and how it's an honor even to be mentioned.

Then, low and behold, I get a stealth vote, from the Beast himself. Well, that changes everything. Because, I got a vote and you losers didn't. Nah nah nah nah, nah nah. Dances a jig whilst swilling a beer. I'm joking, of course. Not only because of everything I've said in the past, which I fervently believe, but also because I think I hear Jo putting on her gigantic slap glove. Really guys, well done to everyone this month. Another bumper crop. What do they say at the Oscars, 'It's an honor just to be nominated.' Cough.

Heh heh. You are immensely welcome TELFORD. Dance away my friend.


And a big "well done" to everyone who posted, and to our wonderful Reviewers, who had the time to comment on our stories.

Also, I enjoyed the great imaginative tales for this month, my long list would take months to shorten.

 

[Dan Jones]

Congratulations Kerry!!

What a great month.

Oh, and top marks to Tim for cleverness, too - love it

 

[marmalade]

Thank you for all the mentions and listings! I hope I didn't forget to ''like'' them all.

Kerry congrats! It was really close, so well done TDZ and Jo too.

 

[Parson]

My story came out of thinking about someone who went back in time to take another's place. I started thinking about somewhat shadowy but very famous characters and Shakespeare immediately came to mind. AFAIK his early history is somewhat iffy and there were/are some who believe that Shakespeare was a pen name.