Discussion Thread -- December 2015 75-word Writing Challenge

congratulations harebrain.

thanks to all that mentioned my story. waiting for a new arrival with a house full of in-laws so didn't have time to do a shortlist, but bob senior got my vote.
 
Congratulations, HareBrain!

And thanks to Droflet, Phyrebrat and Jo for the much-appreciated votes.
 
Thanks all! Commiserations to Bowler1 and Bob Senior, who had the joint lead at halfway and both of whose witty stories were on my shortlist.

Thanks to TJ, Cul, Crystal Haven, farntfar and Ursa for the votes I haven't already mentioned.
 
Congrats Harebrain! Well done.

I didn't do a shortlist because I was indisposed most of the day but I managed to vote for Bowler's great entry and I loved a lot of them this month.

Thanks for any of the mentions I got!
 
Howdy,
CONGRATS HAREBRAIN, how do you do it?, you gotta tell me, please.

Come to think of it I did amazing this month, SO......................................................
Thank you Dusty Zebra for your vote.
Thank you Mr Orange for your vote also.
Parson, thank you for your almost vote..........it's the thought that counts.
Victoria, thank you for the bronze.

Thanks Mr Orange and Chris for the short listings. Chris, I didn't see your list just ahead of my reply, looks like it took me 34 minutes to hunt and pick a reply.

HareBrain, thanks for the short listing.

Mr Orange, is it a little tax deduction you are waiting on?, good luck.

My story, or rather the title, came from the lyrics of an old song:
Paint and powder
Powder and paint
Paints a woman
What she ain't

One last thing, I'm starting the new year off with more surgery, "just" cataract surgery this time but I only have the one eye so kinda nervous, can't wait till I can go 6 months without visiting a doctor.

Happy New Year, stay tame.

Bob
 
Ahem, sorry, I'm a little late. Between a cold and Christmas I've been away from the forum the last few days (talk about wanting to kick myself), and missed the days of voting tension, which is fun... and nerve racking.

A big thanks to Chrispy (I've made it!!!), Ratsy, Glen, Little Star, Alex, Stillearning and Hazelrat - 7 votes is amazing and usually more than enough to win. I missed the voting (we'll return to this in a moment), but I would have voted for HB anyway. Bob, super well done as well and a great entry. I am delighted to say I lost to HB, with a killer last line. That's the secret of the 75 words for me at least, the killer last line. HBs rocked, well done buddy.

Now... not voting. I'm very strict on this and I find myself in a very odd situation. As HB no longer needs his gun, it's only fitting I use his (Bowler1 starts winding slowly and with very little enthusiasm). I think this might hurt....
 
Congratulations harebrain!

And thank you especially Tim and johnnyjet for the votes, and the others who mentioned my story.

I know sometimes a 75 worder can be quite confusing, so I will do my best to explain some of the thoughts behind mine for those who didn't quite get where I was coming from.

Firstly, Klaus was just a name - I felt that Christmas and steampunk both fit quite nicely into a Germany-Victorian type era. If you saw him as a version of St Nick or Santa, then that could be entirely possible as an alternative origin story, but it's not what I intended.
Overall it was supposed to read with the double meaning - a tired, loving father watching his newborn sleep vs. the child has died in the night and the thoughts and hopes of the father are instead based in grief and regret.

Boxing Day being a day for funerals what supposed to indicate not only that the child had died, but klaus's desire to avoid facing the reality of his daughter's death for just one more day. Christmas is usually seen as (and expected to be) a joyful time, and I wanted the sourness and real feeling of what it's like for those who do not have a joyful day, and how they might best deal with it.

I liked the idea of a coal mobile above the cot - I think in a steam-based world a small steam powered mobile would fit right in. They would power it up when they put the child to bed and it would slowly have burnt out by the time they were asleep. Maybe a little bit dangerous to have hot coals above a baby, but i'm sure in this world they've taken safety precautions of some kind...:X3: Also, the coal dust settling on the infant's face was supposed to be another indication of the child's death, as i'm sure normally you would wipe away soot falling onto your sleeping child - but klaus was doing his best to hold onto his denial so didn't want to disturb the child and make it impossible for him to keep pretending that it hadn't happened.

I suppose it was written quite subtly... What I see in my brain doesn't always translate into 75 words of clarity :ROFLMAO:

Sorry for the morbidity aswell :unsure: I originally sat down to write something Christmassy...

Anyway, I hope everyone had a great Christmas/Hanukkah/holiday, and hope you all have a good New Year's too!
 
i got your story HR, well at least the half of it where the baby has died. i thought it was well written and a good read and would have been on my shortlist, had i written one. i read irony into the name choice - hinting at St Nick but with the father, in the end, unable to bring the one gift that his child needed.
 
My story follows an idea that always occurs to me with "steam punk." Wouldn't a world with all the gadgets that we have powered by steam be a crummy, crummy, place to live. I always see billows of smoke and type of pollution which is hard to fathom. That made me think about where would you find relatively smoke free places --- obviously sparsely populated places, like Iowa --- the final line, and I'm surprised no one mentioned it, comes from the classic movie "Field of Dreams." It is widely quoted around here, for obvious reasons.
 
Congratulations HareBrain

And a big, WELL DONE to Bob Senior & Bowler1​





My story: My own "heart" was my inspiration. Even though I don't drink, I imagined a very old version of myself, wearing my old Army jacket, and always keeping the unfortunate and the needy in the back of my mind (like I always do). That's what cost me votes, I wrote with my heart, rather than concentrating on making my tale more steam-punky. But, I don't mind. I got glassy-eyed just creating a shadowy version of myself.
 
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