Three-Legged Improv

[Vladd67]

Noses thrust through the gap of the cracked open windows, they whined and barked at each other. With tails wagging they desperately tried to reach each other, but it was no good. The two cars pulled out of the car park going their separate ways and the dogs both knew their love was doomed, they would never see each other again.

Time traveler, Jack the Ripper, pulp fiction

 

[Ajid]

Sylvia, a 1989 TVR S2, had waited years for this moment alone with the grey fox that was Angus the Brittish racing green MGB Roadster. He was slowley lowering his hood when he stopped and he said to her horror. "I'm sorry I can't do it with these dogs watching."

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Right I hope that remains ambiguous enough to still be family friendly.

In the spirit of peace,

Sweet Peas, Soldier, Spy Thriller.

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

"How did you know that this guy was a German spy, Captain?"

"Easy, sir. He ate his peas with his fork upside down in his left hand."

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Rose, painter, ghost story

 

[Ihe]

The rose painted itself, it seemed, as Jacques stared at the canvas. There were no paint or brushes to be seen anywhere, but the rose, titled Lovelongone, grew redder every day, and Jacques grew paler. "I'd give my lifeblood for my wife's happiness," he'd once said, and Mary had not forgotten, even from beyond the grave.
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salad, monster, SF

 

[Droflet]

Creatures out of a dark imagination boarded the space station, searching for ... what? The crew made a last stand in the mess, but their weapons were useless against the hideous nightmares. They waited for their grisly deaths, then one of the monsters spotted the salad bar, and a new alliance was formed.


Catastrophe, murder, mystery thriller.

 

[Cat's Cradle]

There were three suspects, each more unlikely than the last: the butler, the jilted former lover, and the broke, bohemian artist Bellmore - the murdered Duke Flandershiggins' nephew (and son of his brother who went missing up the Nile 30 years earlier).
The sinking of the mega-yacht on its maiden voyage (it struck a drifting tin of Sanka coffee, and was beneath the waves in minutes) seemed a natural disaster of epic proportions. But the coppers uncovered two incontrovertible clues onboard the yacht: Lord Flandershiggins' blood contained the venom of the notoriously lethal Nile fainting python, and also, the sentence "I hate you Unkie Flandershiggins!!" had been painted in Bohemian-artist blue number 7 on his bedroom wall...the butler was hanged after a speedy and thorough trial.
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pocket watch, cobbler, western

 

[nixie]

What time is it? Silas pulls his pocket watch out, pausing in his reheeling of the ranger's boots. Was a hard life in the last frontier, Indian attacks, shootouts, but you could make a good living here as a cobbler.

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Mistletoe, auditor, ffantasy

 

[Ihe]

The Floating Palace of the Mage King reeked of overspending. Kelar, the Royal Auditor, was not happy as he strolled through the heavily ornamented halls. Two servants were kissing under a randomly placed mistletoe, so Kelar brought out his papyrus and made a note under the section "absolutely needless decorations poor people enjoy".
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fire extinguisher, lawyer, steampunk

 

[Droflet]

Assistant district attorney Mona Goodly, took the earliest dirigible to New York which quickly pulled away from it's mooring, the steam turbines sending the propellers spinning. She had found the evidence that would put the Digino family behind bars but for now she had the observation lounge to herself and thoroughly enjoyed the peace and ... Two large hands grabbed her by the throat and pushed her toward the open window, then the sound of metal on bone, she took a deep breath and looked up to find a man, FBI badge in one hand, fire extinguisher in the other.

 

[Droflet]

Monkey, scotch, detective story.

 

[farntfar]

Nah, Inspector Chisholm, it's a birfday present for 'Er indoors.
Still, it might av been better if Arfur ad read "Genuine 500 year old Laughroaig" a bit more carefully.
I reckon e's daan a monkey for nuffing.


Honda, Astronaut, Nursery story

 

[Droflet]

I have no idea what you just said. Is that some kind of English dialect?

 

[farntfar]

Ah well now Droflet. This is all supposed to relate to an old (Late seventies to mid nineties) British television program, called Minder, which was supposed to be full of loveable cockney rogues.
Spoken by Terry McCann, the eponymous Minder (bodyguard) to the local copper D.I Chisholm about Arfur (Arthur Daley, who's minder he was).
Arfur's wife, who was never seen, Arthur called 'her indoors', with the requisite awe.
Laphroaig is a real single malt whiskey from the isle of Islay.
and a monkey is slang for £500.
Arthur always had some "clever" scheme to make money going, which was generally very stupid.
So there you have it.
I'm surprised you never came across Minder, as I think you've mentioned Only Fools and Horses which was on the other channel at much the same time.

 

[Droflet]

Saw Minder and loved it. But like your offering, I didn't always understand it. Thanks for the translation.

 

[Ihe]

Goodness, glad to not be the only one flummoxed by that story. I understood none of it .
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Once upon a time, a very smart man who loved his new Honda car very much, decided he wanted to ride it to the moon and become an astronaut while he was at it. His friends laughed at him and his bosses rolled their eyes at him, but he didn't care. Without anyone knowing it, he strapped his car to the side of a rocket he built himself, climbed in, and off he went, proving to everybody that being crazy is not the same as being crazy with a plan and an engineering degree.
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water, psychic, thriller/suspense

 

[Droflet]

The water flooded in and was already up to my waist; soon the predatory, giant ells would come to feed and I cursed myself again for not seeing this coming. The water was up to my chin and I felt the first touch of a slimy tendril brush my leg. I reached out with my powers to the guard outside the door and sent a projection; the door slid open and I screamed as teeth latched onto my leg.


avalanche, desert, romance.

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

Far above the blazing white sands of Koristan's sun-tortured wasteland the snow-capped peak of Mount Valin brooded. The poet-philosopher-magician Malik held her lover in her slim ebony arms and whispered the words that would bring the mountain crashing down on their heads. From that day forward, Koristan would be known as the Land of Eternal Ice.

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paper, photographer, suspense

 

[Droflet]

Now in early middle age, James Olson was the head photographer for the daily planet and dangerous stories were his specialty. Through the camera's viewfinder the Scorelli Brothers and the mayor of Metropolis exchanged greetings, and a huge wad of cash, but Jimmy waited until their voices rose in laughter before clicking the shutter. If he moved, they'd spot him, and he'd be dead a dozen unpleasant ways over, so, with ants eating at his flesh, he settled down in the concealed woodland and waited for nightfall.

Blindness, women, humor.

 

[Alex The G and T]

They say that Love is blind; and Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

I told her that I wanted to love her; but my passion refused to ignite. "Alas, It's over, poor lass," I said.

So, she blindsided me with a haymaker.

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Cuteness. Kittens. Horror

 

[Ihe]

Oh no, please tell me you didn't go there. Cute kittens in a horror story cannot be good for karma. The powers-that-be might just wipe this forum and personally hunt you down, you wretched soul. Tread carefully now.