DISCUSSION -- January 2017 300-word Writing Challenge (#24)

[Perpetual Man]

Bowler1 winks.

I'm off to shoot anything that moves. That usually means Starbeast or Perp.

Jeez, stick my head around the door for two minutes and am in fear for my life. Hat down, collar up and slinks off into the shadows.

 

[Shyrka]

Shyrka -- This exciting technological fantasy reminds us to be careful of what we wish for.

Thank you for the lovely review, as ever, Victoria.

 

[HazelRah]

Yay, I'm in! And there's only a few more hours of stupid dark miserable January left to go. That's quite managable.
Today is a good day

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

Mr Orange -- This wry fable reminds us how often it is true that the mighty have fallen.

HazelRah -- This blend of realistic narration and a mythic theme reminds us how often misunderstandings lead to tragic consequences.

ratsy -- This introspective science fiction story is a powerful portrait of loneliness and isolation.

 

[Mr Orange]

I suddenly realised it was the 31st and that my story that had been stewing was boiling dry. So, I ladled it out into the soup bowl that is the 300 word challenge. I think some of the words slopped over the side and it definitely needed more seasoning, but I just didn't have the thyme...

Thanks for the kind review Victoria

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

Ursa major -- As the Bard himself often did, this Shakespearean drama makes use of wordplay to make a serious point.

The Judge -- This tale of good and evil creates a new mythology of sweeping proportions.

 

[Ursa major]

The challenge is now closed to new entries and the voting is now open. To cast your three votes, use the link below.

Please vote for your top THREE choices; note that all three votes must be cast AT THE SAME TIME to count.

​

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

My votes went to:

"The Large Horse" by johnnyjet because of its dreamlike tone which reminds me of the calm surrealist paintings of Magritte.

"So, It's Come to This" by mosaix, for its creation of a unique and appealing narrator.

"Horseplay" by Stable due to its quirky and cleverly constructed plot.

 

[Stable]

I voted for:
@mosaix For getting both the guano and the expression of the horse in the picture just right.
@Cat's Cradle This was my favourite, just purrfect. The narrator sounds like my Nan. I've read it several times (always with a Derby accent in my head).
@Hugh The lack of paragraphs and matter-of-fact description make the everyday madness so touching. If indeed it is madness.

Special mentions for @Victoria Silverwolf, @The Judge and @Cory Swanson for fantastic entries as well.

 

[Cat's Cradle]

Wow, that's so kind, Stable - thank you! I'm really happy the voice seems reminiscent of your Nan, and the way she speaks.
I'd been worried my story wasn't quite grand enough, but I'll take this vote and run. Great way to start a new month.

 

[Cathbad]

MY FAVORITES

Treasure Left Behind @Calliopenjo
The First Unicorn @Ashleyne. B. Watts
(Untitled) @Tommy Brauer
I will stand the hazard of the die. @chrispenycate
Leadership @Coast
Mounting Anger @Ursa major


THE BEST

Oh, Jump, and I’ll Come to You, My Love @Phyrebrat
So, It's Come To This. @mosaix
On a Pale Iron Horse @Shyrka


BUT I VOTED FOR

I Drive The Hearse @DG Jones
Umanoden @The Storyteller
It Was a Long Way @Wruter

 

[Stable]

What's grander than an irresistible invasion of fiery, transdimensional demons?

 

[Cat's Cradle]

Hah! Quite so. (Merci.)

 

[Hugh]

That's very very kind @Stable.

Many thanks.

 

[Rafellin]

Pretty straightforward this time:

Top o' the stack - HazelRah
Closely followed by - Wruter & Hugh

Plus a special mention to Cory Swanson for sheer WTF? factor.

 

[Shyrka]

There were a few that stood out for me this month:

Votes:

So it's Come to This, @mosaix - A charmingly-told tale of a robotic life, a trail of story breadcrumbs that lead to a wonderfully-melancholy realisation.
Leadership, @Coast - A artfully-crafted insight into the deliciously conniving mind of a career-obsessed gloryhound.
The Sea Horse, @The Judge - A compact yet perfectly-formed little tale that hints at a world much greater than it describes.

Honorable mentions go to:

Horseplay, @Stable - Highly entertaining. I could just picture having such a 'hilarious' colleague.
Caterina and the Demons, @Cat's Cradle - A delightful mix of the mundane and the apocalyptic. The husband's spiteful characterisation was all-too-plausible and his comeuppance all the sweeter for it.

 

[mosaix]

Votes:

Layover, @Victoria Silverwolf
Oh, Jump, and I'll Come to You, My Love, @Phyrebrat
On A Pale Iron Horse, @Shyrka

 

[Dan Jones]

My top five for the month, and votes.

Cathbad - Of Gods, Goddesses, and Heroes - Despite the indirect relating of this historical tale through the eyes of schoolchildren, this has a strong sense of a world being shaped by historical events that themselves shift and move, with respect to their meaning, over time. While there is a show of hands from the schoolchildren at the end, the smile of the teacher suggests something more akin to truth than fact. The shades of Parsifal that haunt the ghosts of battle also give this a pleasant and unexpected depth.

Victoria Silverwolf - Layover - conjuring imagery and language not dissimilar to one of David Mitchell's Konmi, VS gives us a wry inversion of the interrogated quasi-human subject subservient to a greater force. But the greater force is not the technologically advanced and Panoptic aliens, no! The greater force is Fate, whose power commands tout le monde with all the blasé whim of a disinterested punter at Ascot.

Cory Swanson - Dear Edna, - as delicious and dry as a plate o' grits, and as whacked out as Guernica strapped to a mustang on absinthe, this equine farce had me LOLing all over the show. And for all the high jinx an' tomfoolery, there's something very grounded about all of it, and the puzzled shame of having to phone home and confess that you'll not be home tonight, because... well, just because suff. Just don't tell maw the truth, whatever you do.

Phyrebrat - Oh Jump! And I'll Come To You, My Love - bloody hell, whence cometh such luscious imagery? Hope springs eternal in the heart of the static, lovelorn Romeo like frothy Guinness horses frolicking on yummy white tides in a teacup in this rich, dense slab of prose poetry. Sheer force of metaphor impels the narrator to drag his aching trunk hence to his love, carried by every force of nature, across time, even while his feet stay anchored to this mortal coil. Wonderful, heart-rending layers of yearning. White horses!

Stable - Horseplay - well, it'd be a poor show if someone called Stable couldn't rustle up a decent horse tale. Who knew? A witty combination of quantum physics with some top drawer Princess Anne-stylee larks reveals the perils of messing with the the space-horse continuum. Very entertaining.

Um, ah, um... well, after some serious umming and ahhing, I decided to give my whinneying votes to Cathbad, Phyrebrat, and Cory Swanson.

 

[Cathbad]

Thanks, DG Jones!

EDIT: Sorry, DG... I added the s now.

 

[Dan Jones]

Yes, everyone thank me, thank me!