April 2017 75-word Writing Challenge -- VICTORY TO HOOPYFROOD!

[Peter V]

Demon Down Time

“What’s that?” Grayguts leans in close, sulphurous breath enough to make a demons eyes water.

“Art” Phlegmdrip grunts, dipping a talon into a freshly opened vein to add more red.

“What’s the point to it?”

“It’s relaxing.”

“Grayguts shrugs as he puts away his knitting. “Whatever floats your boat. Anyway, breaks over.”

Phlegmdrip sighs. “Back to work Vincent.” He drags his palette behind him by his one remaining ear. “Hot coals scheduled for this afternoon.”

 

[Cory Swanson]

Pointless

“Explain the rules again.”

“OK, when that guy rolls the boulder to the top, we run up and knock it back down.”

“That’s it?”

“Yeah.”

“There’s like a hundred of us and only one of him.”

“So?”

“That’s not very fair.”

“Life’s not fair.”

“So how do we know when the game is over?”

“When he gets the boulder up here.”

“That’s never going to happen. He’s outnumbered.”

“They don’t call him Sisyphus for nothing.”

 

[ErikB]

Dwarves, Dice, and unbelievable Fantasy role playing games.


Hjord scratched his beard.

"That orange haired skunk ape in the Whitehouse ruins everything! Dirty move!"

Norbrecht shrugged.

"Rolled an eighteen. Gamemaster's allowing it!"

Alvis rolled. Three...

Dawrves and gnomes laughed.

He sighed.

"Putin keeps his shirt off."

Hjord scowled.

"Fine! Arming nuclear warheads while the UK struggles with Brexit!"

Gogjun laughed drawing looks.

"It's supposed to be a realistic role playing game about a technologically advanced society of humans. This is unbelievable. Truly ridiculous!"

 

[HoopyFrood]

Your Move

Born just minutes after the Universe began, her most pressing concern had always been how to fill the great, unfathomable sea of time.

There was one other like her, she knew, but far, far away. Their only method of communication was to dim the light of their respective stars, sending a burst of code across the cosmos.

There! A flicker, a 100 million years old or more.

“Bishop to b5.”

 

[Parson]

Rolling Bowling Balls​

Stelios rolled his eyes. Great grandpa was conning Stelios’ little brother, Manos.

“Do you hear the thunder Manos?”

With wide eyes, Manos nodded.

“Do you know what causes thunder?”

Manos shook his head.

“It’s Zeus and Aphrodite bowling.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Bull!” thought Stelios, “If Zeus and Aphrodite were real they might be scoring, but it would have nothing to do with bowling.”


------------------

Aphrodite sighed and looked up at Zeus. ...... 269? and no magic?

 

[farntfar]

Speaking in my own defense.

I stand here before you accused of vile deeds;
the desecration of virgins and the rape of the innocent.
Prosecution have said that I feed on the blood of the righteous and convert others to my foulness.
I am utterly evil and practice seriously depraved acts in my awful worship of demons.
I tell you honestly: it just ain’t true.
There was never anyfink serious about it. I was just playing.

 

[TitaniumTi]

Spacer's Pinball

Now.

As the trash-splasher's recoil launches me, I snap my knees straight for added impetus. I zig towards Engineering's grog pallet; bottles rattle as I slide by. Ignoring snipes' catcalls, I zag past the missile bay.

Home. I whoop, diving into the escape pod, then yelp as my funny bone clips its launch panel.

***

Only bones occupy the pod as it loops through endless circuits of the galaxy. Bones and their memories.

 

[Starbeast]

Round Trip Lunar Astronaut

Awakened daily by classic cartoons,
didgeridoo humming in rhythmic tune.
Pigeons flying overhead,
abandoned machines remain dead.
Colorful landscape for no one to see,
black and white rock to you, have some tea.
I've seen things, I ain't never seen before,
I don't want to leave, I want to see more.
Mama told me NASA's fun,
I'm not Godzilla's only son.
She said, "IKEA's quality is dumb, Son!
I'm glad you're not Rebel scum, Son!"​

 

[ratsy]

And the Winner is….

“…and the winner gets to keep their soul.” She made it sound like our souls were worth keeping.

If we weren’t all about to die, I would have laughed.

“How do we win again?” Peggy asked. She was the smallest.

“Be the last one standing.” She raised her arm.

The weapons were on the dirt, strewn about.

Before she said go, I grabbed an axe.

Dirty though my soul was, I was keeping it.

 

[Perpetual Man]

Foreplay, Hobbits and Other Pleasure Activities

“Do it to me!” the dwarf’s gravelly voice screeched with relish.

The halfling stood panting, eyes shining.

A thrill ran through the elf, it never ceased to excite him.

“Good!” the dwarf growled, “I need it! I need it! Infuse me! Harder! Harder!”

Eyes narrowed, as whip cracked and ratchets turned the rack. “Bring on the berserk so I can fight this war!”

 

[Coast]

Community Service

The referee stumbles to the sideline, arm missing, one leg bloodied and torn.

“No more!”

He disappears into the change rooms.

“I’ll help out!” a voice from the crowd calls.

Heads turn, incredulous - the greengrocer, Mr Alloes.

“Now, Marty,” I say. “The Undead league is no place for a human referee.”

He waves me aside and pulls on the stripes.

My wife shrugs. “He’s only a greengrocer. We don’t even eat greens.”

 

[Heijan Xavier]

Hate the Game

Midnight Rainbow Hunt runs from Sunset Coalesce to Sunrise Diffuse.

Trepp stood confidently, admiring the arena. In distant reflections though, he noticed white stubble, a defeated hairline, and a weary visage.

“Time to retire.” he resolved. “Wasting my life on this arena-hunting obsession.”

“Thanks for the drinks. Come with me. Let’s see the Rainbow before the Diffuse.” A maiden beckoned with a coy voice, but beguiling eyes.

“I’ll retire tomorrow morning,” Trepp sighed, “again.”

 

[RJM Corbet]

DICE

"You ... lazy ... fat!"

"What now, woman?"

"Answer the door, oaf!" she shouted from the kitchen.

Quidji, the inkeeper, was tossing dice on the verandah with rough frontiersmen in a game that was turning ugly. He heaved himself up.

There were three, exhausted, at the door: a young man, a green-eyed woman, and a giant who could not speak.

"Fugitives." he thought. "Big reward. But -- size of that one ..."

"Woman!"

"I'm cooking!"

"Money," he shouted.

 

[Culhwch]

What Mother Doesn’t Know

Mother always said, a proper girl should have a proper hobby.

She meant needlework. Or watercolours. Or croquet. Ugh, boring!

Though to be fair, the croquet mallet has come in handy.

The most difficult part is keeping it from Mother.

The bruises are one thing. The torn, bloodstained clothes another.

But it’s finding space in my wardrobe - in the back, behind the ball gowns - for all those mounted troll heads. That’s the hardest part...

 

[Lex E. Darion]

The Card Game


Cormac placed the Ace of Hearts on the table.

Macey waved her wand and the card changed back into a coaster. “Stop cheating! If you don’t stop, I’m going to –”

“Chill out, girly.” Cormac rocked his chair. “It’s all good. Let’s just play.”

She placed a three of clubs on the pile.

“Snap!” Cormac grinned. A match.

A wave of her wand returned it to its natural state.

“MUUUUUUMMMMM! He’s cheating again.”

 

[chrispenycate]

Youthful enthusiasm

Kittens. puppies, even foals
Infant mammals learn through play
To enjoy survival's goals,
To fulfil their adult rôles
Learn with minimum delay

So baby leviathan
Weighing less than thousand ton,
Disturbing harbour sandspit plan
Capsizes skiff, catamaran
Keel scratches back 'long galleon

Parents dive for treasure sank
To reimburse infant mischief
Remodelling sandbank
Replace paint and shattered plank
All destruction blamed to prank
Offspring gets a caudal spank
Perchance remembering the grief.

​

 

[David Evil Overlord]

Dungeons and Dinosaurs.​

T-Rex rolled a one on the d20, knocking his plastic saurian barbarian figure right off the game board. “Is bad?”

“Critical failure,” said Shrew, who’d shrewdly substituted the original d20 with a polyhedral singularity. “You’re dead.”

“I save you.” Triceratops rolled a one. Her lizard wizard figure melted into plastic goo.

“What happen now?”

“Mammals win.”

The singularity spat out an asteroid, fifteen kilometres wide.

Evolution: Don’t play without checking the rules.

 

[HazelRah]

A Collection Worth Six Million


"I especially like this one," she said, turning it over in her small old-lady hands. "The pattern is off-centre."

"You should put that back. It's not okay to just take it!"

"It'll look nice in my collection... Besides, he won't need it."

"The rabbi says a soul is a soul. He could turn bad without it!

"What nonsense!" she scoffed. "It's a new century now, dear, you really need to update your views."

 

[The Judge]

Not even the one-eyed king?


I’m Middle Earth’s best ever sales-gnome. I’ve sold Mage War Extreme to pacifist elves, Patience to irascible dwarves, crosswords to illiterate goblins, Sudokus to innumerate orcs, and Monopoly to pixies with no concept of money.

But I should never have taken Gnomebert’s bet. I’ve been here a month. I’ve coaxed, cajoled, flattered, bargained, practically besieged the royal castle and begged. It’s no good.

In the valley of the blind, no one plays I-Spy.

 

[nixie]

Its Only a game.

​

The troll guard led the prisoners through the corridors.

" Stupid humans, I'm missing the match"

He points to the window,

" Have a look, you'll be part of the game soon"

One of the prisoners glances out the window, ashen faced he turns to his friend.

" Zack, I know why they took us alive"

" Marc, its only a game of football"

" I'd look closer at the ball if I was you"

"Is that a Human head ? "