Discussion Thread -- August 2017 75-word Writing Challenge

[Parson]

Congratulations Little Star ..... A Star was born in your story. A tender steam love story.

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I struggled mightily with this challenge. Any challenge that ends in "punk" is going to be very tough for me. My final inspiration came two fold. I thought about a song "Try a Little Tenderness" and I wondered how that would be played with steam..... Of course a Calliope was an obvious answer, I thought about a calliope being made into a weapon of war. And that was the genesis of my story. I feel it ticked the boxes of the challenge, but likely didn't yank on the emotions like a winning story does.

 

[TheDustyZebra]

Congratulations to LittleStar!

And thanks and cookies to Teresa, farntfar and CC for the mentions, along with a whole cake and a pot of tea to TJ for the lovely vote!

 

[Teresa Edgerton]

Thank you to everyone who mentioned my story, and particularly to Parson, Ursa, johnnyjet, and Shyrka for the votes.

As some will have guessed from the title, my inspiration was the dancing clockwork dolls in The Nutcracker (one of my very favorite ballets).

 

[mosaix]

Congratulations, LittleStar!

 

[Abernovo]

Congratulations, LittleStar!
A great story.

 

[Luiglin]

Congrats @LittleStar - let's have a death, destruction, apocalyptic theme so we can have some uplifting tales

I was torn this month between my final entry and another that I called sentimental tosh.

Heres that tosh.

Last Day, First Day

He unwrapped the retirement present from Gerry, office coffee buddy and, after his late wife, the only person who truly knew him.

He sniffed a laugh at the contents. Cheers, Gerry.

The device was small and painlessly inserted through the ear canal, burrowing deep.

His sight flickered, like a TV set struggling for a signal, before it settled. Louise appeared in her chair and gave him that smile so missed these last few empty years.

 

[Teresa Edgerton]

I like your story, Luiglin. Do you think it's bad because it's too sentimental, or for some other reason?

 

[Luiglin]

I like your story, Luiglin. Do you think it's bad because it's too sentimental, or for some other reason?

Cheers @Teresa Edgerton. I find that I often miss the mark with pieces like this. I'm either too subtle or like a pie in the face

 

[Hugh]

I also liked your "tosh" story, and probably more than the non-tosh entry.

And congratulations LittleStar​

 

[Phyrebrat]

Congratulations littlestar! Very pleased for you.

You saved us from the Chrispy theme demon (which might've been quite fun, actually).

Many thanks for the shortlist and mentions.

pH

 

[Cat's Cradle]

Congrats, LittleStar! Fine victory.

I like this one quite a bit, Luiglin. It would have done well on my lists, and really hit the spirit of the theme, I think.

 

[Dave Barsby]

Apologies, peeps, I was renewing my phone contract and broadband at the same time and there were technical issues. Just managed to get back online to discover I've missed voting by a few hours

 

[The Judge]

Congratulations, LittleStar! And congrats on second place to Teresa and Perp! (Hey -- I had all 3 on my shortlist!)


Luiglin, I thought that was a fine story, and not at all sentimental tosh. I'm with Hugh, that I liked it more than the one you did post.


I am amazed and delighted to find more shortlistings, a runner-upship and a finalist listing for my story, so knocked about but wholly unruined thanks CC, Ursa and Starbeast!


For anyone who is interested, Marie Lloyd was a Victorian/Edwardian era singer in British music halls, and she was renowned for her rather saucy songs -- she was an adept at nudges, winks and all the rest of it so even something written wholly innocently became very risque in her hands. A popular song of hers was "I'm one of the ruins Cromwell** knocked about a bit" hence the reference to ruins and knocked about in my piece on her, but far more innuendo-laden was one about a girl who is shelling peas in the garden until her "pretty little peapot" is full, and the oft-repeated line in it is "She sits among the cabbages and peas" -- though reputedly censors didn't like the double entendre on "peas" so she was said to have changed to "She sits among the cabbages and leeks"... . In my original version -- the 150+ word version -- that line came at the end of the first innuendo-stanza so it balanced out the final sorrowful line of the poem, but having to cut the poem in half meant that plan went out the window, so I was left with a last line which undoubtedly made no sense to those who weren't aware of the song. Oh, the perils of poetry and only 75 words. "Babbages", of course, are the steam-punk equivalents of a computer, named after the Victorian mathematician/inventor.


** for non-Brits, Oliver Cromwell was a general in the Parliamentarian army during the civil of the C17th and thereafter Lord Protector in the Interregnum. During the civil war and afterwards Parliamentarians and puritans destroyed/despoiled a great deal of church property as well as slighting castles which belonged to Royalists.

 

[Dan Jones]

You saved us from the Chrispy theme demon (which might've been quite fun, actually).

Never deride the great Chrisp theme God!

Huge apologies for not posting my vote. The last few days have been hectic at home and I didn't get the chance to cast. For what it's worth, I probably would have voted for either Vaz or Teresa.

Clockwork, tin-plated high-fives from the mortician for Teresa, Phyrebrat, JJ, Vaz, Littlestar, Luiglin and Ursa for the mentions, and resurrected, mechanical hugs and kisses go to The Dusty Zebra for the vote!

Oh, and congratulations Littlestar for the win! Now, please don't be shy - channel your inner Chrisp and give us something completely off the wall for your theme and genre. Personally I'm gagging for a bit of epic theatre!

 

[Luiglin]

Personally I'm gagging for a bit of epic theatre!

Maybe a Burlesque Noh Pantomime theme?

Cheers for the positive comments on the alternate tale. I'll write two for September and go enter the one I don't like ;p

 

[nixie]

Congratulations littlestar

 

[Joshua Jones]

My apologies for not participating in the vote. My last week has involved moving, preparing for the move, hating the moving process, and my body arguing with my brain about having to move my library. Hence, I didn't have the opportunity to thoroughly review the entries and make an educated decision.

Thank you for the mentions @Stable, @nixie, @Ashleyne, @Shyrka, @Ursa major, and @Starbeast (as well as any others I may have missed). And congratulations to @LittleStar for the win and excellent story.

 

[johnnyjet]

Congratulations, LittleStar! Great story!

Thanks to TheDustyZebra and Ursa major for the listings, and especially to Teresa Edgerton, Travis Woodward, and Cat's Cradle for the votes! All were a nice surprise.

 

[ratsy]

Congrats Littlestar! I voted for you It was tight between you and Perp, but you won out in the end

Thanks to everyone who mentioned me on their lists

 

[Shyrka]

I know the challenge is over but here are a few more reviews. I don't want folks to feel left out!

A Love Letter, @Phyrebrat – This topical piece conjures an evocative image of a futuristic London and its iconic skyline guardian.

The Contraption, @Bob Senior – The story of a machine built to knock off a person’s rough edges, this wacky tale brings new meaning (or possibly not, depending on how excellent the machine works) to the word ‘tenderized’.

I Believe That The Heart Does Go On, @Dan Jones – This story of love, loss and libido comes to a truly heart-wrenching conclusion. Steamy.

There’s More Than One Way To Crack a Nut, @mosaix – A curious steampunk tale of a machine-wrecker with a sentimental attachment to sentient machinery, this story leaves one guessing – what exactly did they do with that screwdriver…?