Good morning, America. This is your President, John Henry Eden. Let's have a chat, shall we?
One Man's Treasure (Pedro Del Mar) - When the Enclave comes for you - and that day is nigh, I assure you - we will reopen libraries across the country, and provide fire to all the people of the wastes.
DEAF WISH (Ashleyne) - And you can rest in peace and quiet, knowing that the Enclave will take any steps necessary - any steps - to exterminate any bothersome pests, however small.
The Robots are coming. (Ian Fortytwo) - I know that some of you may feel anxious, but I assure you, my - our - only wish is to aid the good people of this country in recovering from the catastrophe. Please, do not listen to any unfounded rumours about me. Trust me, sweet America. Trust the Enclave.
My New Home (Calliopenjo) - Aliens may seem harmless, and even helpful, but this is still a country of humans. It was built by humans, and built for humans, and God willing, will always be run by humans.
Last Supper (dannymcg) - Hordes of undead have been seen moving across the wastes, but I assure you, the Enclave is perfectly prepared to defend any and all military assets from such an invasion.
Man's Best Friend (elvet) - Ah, this reminds me of the golden days of my youth - playing with my dog, Honey, in rural Kentucky. Doesn't everyone deserve some loyal friends like these? Don't you, dear listeners?
For a Bride (Cat's Cradle) - Back before the war, every bride could count on a beautiful dress for her wedding, and nobody had to barter away their family heirlooms. It was truly a golden age, and it can be again. With our help.
Door Gods (Daysman) - Some of you ask what the Enclave has done for you. And as reply, I point to a recent invasion of beings from another dimension that was entirely foiled by Enclave soldiers. You're welcome, dear America.
L'état, C'est Moi (Victoria Silverwolf) - I know that many people have broken from reality due to the horrors of the wastes, and I assure you that we will care for these people as we care for you all.
Empire of All (SPoots) - Have you had a hard day working just to support yourself, dear listeners? When the nation is whole again, you won't need to work, as our robots do the labor for you.
An Ordinary Kind of Empire (Culhwch) - And we will also ensure that all of the orphaned children of the wastes are given to loving, caring families. That is my promise to you.
After His Father's Heart (Justin Swanton) - Shouldn't everyone have a leader they love, as I hope you love me, dear America?
apocalypSTICKS (D.A. Xiaolin Spires) - Remember, listeners. Strange women emerging from mystical sticks is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses - that's you, dear listeners - and not from some farcical minion ceremony.
Rise and Fall of the Gnoman Empire (Peter V) - Gnoman is an island, compared to the great power that our country once was, and will be again... thanks to the Enclave.
Proposition (Luiglin) - I can personally assure you that unlike previous nations which came and went, I, we, the Enclave, America... is here to stay.
The New World (D3athw4lker) - To any potentate who resists this great country's reintegration, I have this to say: Any threats to our power will be acted against... with all the weapons at the Enclave's disposal.
15-Love (Dr_R_Dizzle) - I promise to take whatever steps are necessary to protect pure humanity from any biological agents that may threaten our nation... and I deeply resent accusations that I have any intentions to employ such a virus.
The Emperor's Tears (Shyrka) - I would like to take the opportunity to apologize for the actions of those of my predecessors who have caused this crisis, and I will fix their mistakes, by any means necessary. I'm doing it for you, dear listeners. All for you.
Post.Apocalypse (CTRandall) - Isn't the post a sacred trust, dear America? Britain may hold your email hostage, but I - and, by extension, the government of this great nation of ours - promise you can use our servers for all of your messages, with no fear of interception.
Sworn to Keep the Barbarians at Bay (Tywin) - For a long time, you've all been keeping watch over the wastes. Soon, your relief will finally come, thanks to us.
Riot Squad (chrispenycate) - The Enclave still stands for you and me. We are strong and disciplined in our ideal; With democracy, dear America, comes security: Our standard will never - never! - fail.
Boone County (Hugh) - I've heard that some people in the wastes have grown to enjoy their desolate circumstances; and I assure you that however much you think you enjoy it now, everything will be better when our country is restored. Just the way it was.
Hearts Rising (Laura R Hepworth) - And nothing can stand in the Enclave's - in America's - way, dear listeners. But we will bring peace and stability, not, I assure you, ruins and blood.
Earth, Human Life, and Alien Eyes (Parson) - Intelligent life is, indeed, sacred. And the Enclave will preserve the humans who inhabit this great nation of ours... I promise.
Tomorrow the world (TheEndIsNigh) - Some people have had to resort to cannibalism - the eating of human flesh - to survive. But it is not necessary. The Enclave will come, and we will stamp out the need for such a practice... and the practice itself. Just for you, sweet America.
The Anthill After Armageddon (johnnyjet) - Back in the good old days before the war, the worst an ant could do was ruin a picnic. And wouldn't you like to see those days again, dear listeners?
New Beginning (nixie) - Some people in the wastes have taken liberties which belong solely to the government. We will not stand for that, I assure you, and we will put a stop to it.
Tonight's TED Talk (farntfar) - The Enclave will bring all the education and wisdom from before the war to everyone who can learn it. That's a promise... and don't I always keep my promises?
The King That Was Not (juelz4sure) - I promise you, dear listeners, that all hope is not lost. The long line of failures ends here, with your President... and your Enclave.
That's all for now, sweet America. This has been your President, John Henry Eden - the voice, heart, and soul of the Enclave. The voice, heart, and soul... of America. After all, aren't they one and the same?