DECEMBER 2021 -- 75 Word Writing Challenge -- VICTORY TO CAT'S CRADLE!!

[Victoria Silverwolf]

Hostile Takeover

"Sending holograms back in time worked perfectly," said the son, "but the paradox confuses me. The chronic projector only exists because it produced the wealth needed to create it!"

"Don't worry about it," said the father. "Just be glad it transformed a miserly old fool into a spendthrift, increasing the salary of our remote ancestor and starting the family's slow progress to world economic domination. Greed blessed us."

"Every one," agreed Timothy Cratchit the Twelfth.

 

[worldofmutes]

Frankenstein’s Christmas

The lord loves you too, Frankenstein.
Although you are an abomination, a monster with four arms, and two heads, and three ears. The doctor is not your “father who art in heaven”, he is your maker, and your undoer.

The spirit of Christmas is alive in you, Frankenstein! Rejoice for another year on beautiful terra firma, and think of all the books you may yet read. For example, Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea!

 

[Ambrose]

An Occurrence at Christmas

‘Twas just after Christmas, when all through the house,
we’d been snoozing post boozing, yes even the mouse;
the bird had been eaten, and stuffing consumed,
the trifle was finished, and arguments pruned.
Out in the dark came some hooves very near.
Nick knocked on the door to see all was well.
We invited him in, but he waved: ‘Till next year’.
Was it real, will he come? Can you tell?

 

[Artoriarius]

Oh, Three Wise Guys, Eh?

We Three Kings of Orient are,
Trying to head home from afar,
Our map is lost, Herod we crossed,
Now he wants us in tar.

[Chorus]
Star of wonder, star of night,
Star that’s shining much too bright,
Westward leading, still proceeding,
Even though we’re heading right.

These two putzes led us astray,
I told them that I knew the way,
We started fighting, one was biting,
I poked him in the eye.

[Chorus]

 

[Starbeast]

Department of Purgatory, Limbo and Second Chances​

”Curly. Where’s Jacob Marley’s body?”

“....”

“Don’t tell me you lost it?”

“I think I accidentally singed it when I cooked matzo balls.”

#

“Singed? You cremated him! Uh-oh! The boss.”

“Hello boys. Jacob Marley gets a second chance if he helps a wickeder man than himself mend his ways.”

“Wickeder?”, exclaimed Moe.

“Take care of his body, just in case.”

Larry cheered, “We’re in the clear.”

Moe sighed, “We avoided eternity in Limbo.”

“Soitenly.”

 

[NicholasJames]

Last Christmas on Yaritz

She checked her comlog for a second time. December 25th. Smiling sadly, she watched the green and red laser-light bounce off the crumbled buildings around her. In the distance, the whine of hover-sleds moving slowly could be heard. The Scourge were coming. Carol lay at her feet, silent, a cauterised hole in her chest. She checked her rifle's charge, pulled her helmet back on to her head, and stood, ready to face them.

 

[Pyan]

Westward leading, still proceeding...

"Well, we can't retrieve it now," said the Captain. "I know that this was reported as a promising species, but I didn't expect them to develop towns this fast - and certainly not to build one right on the top of the damned cache."

"So what do we do?" asked Number One. "Just leave?"

"I suppose so," sighed the Captain. "Full power to the main engines. Engage."


And a starship shone out over Bethlehem...

 

[Daysman]

A Christmas Twisted

Following luncheon, wherein he treated young Bob Cratchit to a bowl of smoking bishop, Ebenezer returned to his fireside to find yet another shade had invaded his abode.

"The kidsman sent me," the revenant growled.

Though this spectre hadn't his previous examiners uncanny purposes, Ebenezer quickly perceived how death had repurposed, but not diminished, this visceral and violent man.

"Reckon you'll need a reminder, now and then. That'll be me, sir. My name was Sikes…"

 

[paranoid marvin]

What A Racket



"I hear you've been carolling."

"Yeah, helping raise people's spirits."

"Raising spirits? You mean like... ghosts?"

"No, festive spirit; you know, spreading Christmas cheer."

"So that's what your hip-flask's for is it, the festive spirit?"

"Nah mate, that's purely for lubrication."

"Riiiight. How does it work then, this carolling?"

"Well, basically we go around the neighbourhood and stand outside people's houses singing Christmas songs."

"What, until they pay you to stop?"

"Err...yeah."

 

[Dan Jones]

Are There No Workhouses? Are There No Prisons?

Ned scuttled through the icy streets, avoiding the Imperial Watch, clutching his meagre bundle to his chest. In a quiet spot he checked its contents.

Half a loaf, an apple, and a wooden angel figurine. Slim pickings.

Reaching the shadowy spot under Dagon’s Bridge, he saw the stinking pile of rags. Ned approached and inspected it. Underneath was a grizzled, snoring face.

Ned relinquished his bundle, kissed the man’s forehead, and left. “Merry Christmas, father.”

 

[Bren G]

Joy to the World

The man spotted the single twinkling star in the dark, silent night. Below it, a home, perhaps a cowshed? He entered and saw the child.

“What you want with my Joy?” said the mother.

“Deliver your daughter to Earth. My starship awaits.”

“Why?”

“Prophesy! Out of Andromeda, I call my daughter to overthrow the occupation and save humanity!”

Swaddled in tatters, the baby gurgled through a toothless grin, melting his heart, filling him with hope.

 

[Parson]

A Carol of Christmas Joy

Carol often longed for the Christmas celebrations of her youth; oh, their perfect joy!

Although she doubted that they were as filled with joy as she remembered, because only

Rotund Red Elves populated her memory. Each one bearing gifts designed to delight her.

Obviously, as a mother, she knew that her childish memories were only that, childish. Still,

Living joy and hope stirred within her as she sang “Silent Night,” holding her daughter’s hand.

 

[sule]

A Simple Story

The Time Travel Agent examined Stephen's proposed itinerary with a skeptic's stare.

"Look," he said, "everyone else is using their once-in-a-lifetime voucher from the TTA to go to the 1980s, invest in Apple. You sure about this?"

"I'm sure," said Stephen.

The agent shrugged. "Your choice. Sign here."

Stephen shifted the tiny package under his arm and signed with shaking hand.

"Here you go: one round-trip ticket to Bethlehem, 1 AD."

 

[johnnyjet]

The Scrooge Who Decommissioned Christmas

Ebenezer Crunch hated Christmas!

"I'll decommission Christmas."

He placed his order with the local Time Travelers Guild. There was a wait list.

That night he dreamed he was visited by three time travelers.

Past. "I initiated the end of Christmas."

Present. "Here's your bill for services."

Future. "Behold: Numb wanderers in a sad, miserable world."

He awoke, ran to the window.

"It's not too late. I must cancel my order. The world needs joy."

 

[Shiftless]

Candy Kaine's Confession

Heed well, ye illustrious, my narrative of vanity and hubris brought to the underbelly of despair.

I was sooo stuck on myself. I whirled and twirled in my red and white gown. My adoring public worshipped my beauty. They couldn't get enough of me.

Then one day a tyke, barely a toddler, removed my cellophane cloak with sticky, grubby fingers. And I realized the gruesome truth: Oh what a sucker I was!

 

[Perpetual Man]

Obsessive. Depressive. Festive.

She came alive in swirling snow,
Throughout the year depressed and low,
Darkness left her sad and bloated,
On narcotic dreams she floated,
Were her prophetic dreams real?
At her feet did the wizards kneel?
Did mankind surge to the skies and stars,
Or was it hallucinogenic debris from dirty bars?
But come Yule she was someone else,
Blazing internal star – repressions melt,
Fun like a monkey filled barrel,
So they called her Christmas Carol.

 

[Hugh]

Chance Encounter
​

It was that season again.
The Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future were despondently reviewing their modus operandi over Starbucks coffee and croissants. They were struggling. People were so self-satisfied that it was impossible to open their eyes to their own mortality and their hearts to the needs of others.

Happily, who should walk in just then for a takeaway flat white but the Spirit of Covid. “Over here!” cried the Ghosts, “Over here!”​

 

[Moonbat]

The Seventeen Days of Salesmass​

On the 17th day of Salesmass my subscription gave to me

Seventeen Pages of conditions
Sixteen separate invoices
Fifteen sample e-books
Fourteen requests for reviews
Thirteen life suggestions
Twelve months of membership
Eleven lightening deals
Ten hourly reductions
Nine unnecessary boxes
Eight expired vouchers
Seven promotional emails
Six unsolicited phone calls
Five gold membership offers
Four audible minutes
Three instant coupons
Two smart devices
and gigabyte of unlimited cloud storage

 

[Ursa major]

​

​

An Injured Gamer’s Christmas: Four Carols, One Lesson
​

In the geek’s ‘mid-winter’,​

His playing’s quite lame,​

Hampered by a splinter,​

Losing every game….​

​

* * * * *​

Once in Loser David’s ‘city’,​

Targeting the loser’s King.​

Never showing any pity,​

Winning is his only thing….​

​

* * * * *​

​

Away from all ‘danger’,​

A crick in his neck,​

His long reign as champion,​

Has all gone to heck….​

​

* * * * *​

Him, Holly, Ken and Ivy,​

Plus Carol: they’re a team.​

The Champ is back to winning ways,​

It’s really such a dream.​

​

 

[The Judge]

An Alternative Christmas Carol​

​

​

In today’s midwinter​

Gorging folk make moan.​

Arteries like iron,​

Paunches feel like stone.​

Turkey, mince pies, chocolate, too,​

Herald modern Yule.​

In the festive season​

Gluttony’s the rule.​

​

“Whatever can we give them?”​

The everlasting cry.​

Credit cards are maxed out,​

Useless things to buy.​

Knick-knacks. Geegaws. Plastic tat.​

Money’s no account.​

In the festive season​

Consumption’s paramount.​

​

Yet Christmas celebrations​

Needn’t cost the earth.​

If only we’d remember​

Once, there was a birth…​