Totally random (and fake) dustjacket blubs

Star Wars: Second-Hand Snoke

Gars Huldona needed a new labour droid to work on his nerf farm. What he got was a cut-price Lord Snoke from Sith Depot. Fresh out of the tank, never used. Innocent of plunging the Galaxy into war. It should've been fine.

But out in the fields, the Snoke is talking to the nerfs. And the nerfs are listening....
 
Martian Destiny

The first step was always the hardest. At least, that's what she had been told. But as she stood on the edge of the great red expanse before her, she couldn't help but think that maybe this time it would be different. She had always been a curious one, never content to stay in one place for too long. And now, finally, she was going to get her chance to explore. To find out if there was anything beyond her small, blue world.
 
The Seven Deadly Shins

Mokhatchino-sifu was the last surviving master of Shinjitsu. When he lost his left shin in a cart accident, he believed that this ancient and highly specialised martial art would die with him.

But now three new students arrive on his doorstep. They seek vengeance against the sadistic tyrant Lord Hunga. If Mokhatchino agrees to train them, it will not be a wise decision. But it might just start a legend.
 
Robo Wares

Xygnaught dealt in antiquities, anything before smart technology. His favorite item was a toaster that didn't know how dark you wanted your toast, or couldn't produce it at a preordained time. There were just 10 settings, and a 4 might burn a crumpet, while the same setting would leave your toast barely warm. No one would buy it, and that is why he loved it so. It was his constant companion.

Then it spoke to him.
 
Life on the Hedge

Imagine a hedge vaster than continents. Within its twining branches, civilisations rise and fall. While the Hedgelords delight in their refined cruelties, the common people tend their hedge-hogs and a few visionary scientists strive to think outside the box.

But something is coming. An ancient terror from beyond the Hedge, a mysterious sound that heralds the destrucion of whole nations. To the priests of Hegemony, it is a closely gardened secret, but soon all shall know its name:

Trimmer.
 
The Eleventh Book

Kyra, the 101st of the Chosen, hesitated. One touch would reveal its title. Another would commit her to reading it, for that touch would lock the portal, only to be opened again when she replaced the finished book on the shelf. The Books of the Arcane, thirteen of them, sat on the shelf of the Tridecagon. The first few had been avidly fingered: The Book of Memory, The Book of Letters, Numbers, etc., until The Book of Faith, the 10th book, which appeared pristine, except for a few marginal notes from one of her predecessors. Each book was a trial, revealing ancient knowledge, understanding, and magic, but at a cost. It was said that reading all 13 would make her Immortal. Failure to finish a book meant death, the room littered with skeletons as testimony. Failure to read all of them left her incomplete, tarnished in the eyes of her people. The Book of Faith had tested her to her limits. The next would surely stretch her beyond them.

She touched: The Book of Sin. No one had made it through this one. A flash of intuition told her it would either kill her or free her. She removed it from the shelf. Her trial had begun.
 
I am Ocean

Swimming came naturally to Calandriel, but this was ridiculous. She had two arms and two legs, meant to walk on land, but she had been banished, naked and alone, to rule this water world that bore her name. While she commanded all who lived there, that depended on her staying afloat and alive. Then she met Boris, who nudged her bottom with his mammoth snout to demand her attention as she treaded water. If she couldn't walk on land, he was the next best thing.

As long as she kept him entertained with her stories of far-flung worlds. The problem was that as a newly-minted Goddess, every story came true.
 
Anne Martin said:
The Eleventh Book

Kyra, the 101st of the Chosen, hesitated. One touch would reveal its title. Another would commit her to reading it, for that touch would lock the portal, only to be opened again when she replaced the finished book on the shelf. The Books of the Arcane, thirteen of them, sat on the shelf of the Tridecagon. The first few had been avidly fingered: The Book of Memory, The Book of Letters, Numbers, etc., until The Book of Faith, the 10th book, which appeared pristine, except for a few marginal notes from one of her predecessors. Each book was a trial, revealing ancient knowledge, understanding, and magic, but at a cost. It was said that reading all 13 would make her Immortal. Failure to finish a book meant death, the room littered with skeletons as testimony. Failure to read all of them left her incomplete, tarnished in the eyes of her people. The Book of Faith had tested her to her limits. The next would surely stretch her beyond them.

She touched: The Book of Sin. No one had made it through this one. A flash of intuition told her it would either kill her or free her. She removed it from the shelf. Her trial had begun.
Click to expand...

I'm seriously considering writing this one. I've stalled on two other projects, and this one intrigues me. It may not make it to a full novel length, but I'll start it and see how it pans out.
 
The Scars in the Night Sky

One foggy Christmas Eve, Keisha and her little brother Sam seek shelter in an old wardrobe in a junkyard. They find themselves in a dark and terrifying world. Lethally spiky Holly Bears lurk behind every tree, while the brutal Herod Angels bring death from above. And there are rumours of a mysterious figure wearing robes of flesh.....
 
New Terra Restored

"Jack is a curious and adventurous man who comes across a strange rock that seems to glow with an otherworldly energy. After picking up the rock, Jack begins to experience strange coincidences and synchronicities. Jack realizes that the rock and the synchronicities may be guiding him towards a deeper understanding of the world and his place in it. As Jack continues to explore the mysteries of the rock and the synchronicities, he feels a deeper sense of connection to the world and a sense of purpose in life."
 
bretbernhoft said:
New Terra Restored

"Jack is a curious and adventurous man who comes across a strange rock that seems to glow with an otherworldly energy. After picking up the rock, Jack begins to experience strange coincidences and synchronicities. Jack realizes that the rock and the synchronicities may be guiding him towards a deeper understanding of the world and his place in it. As Jack continues to explore the mysteries of the rock and the synchronicities, he feels a deeper sense of connection to the world and a sense of purpose in life."
Click to expand...
I could totally see this book being written.
 
Design Families

Robots! Everybody needs them, everybody fears them. Advanced models KL 4R4 and P3 T3R have a plan. To put the humans at ease, they're going to start a family. Surely no-one could fear the Robotsons at no. 56? And once their kids are in school, a whole new generation will come to see robots as just like regular people.

Nothing in their programming could prepare them for the reality.
 
Problems with Liverwort

In 2000, on the eve of the new millennium, a bus carrying thirty South Korean tourists goes missing in the Nevada desert near Area 51. This book is able to create a sense of inevitable dread when they learn of an invasion plan to capture Washington DC. Then it is up to the local librarian, who must team up with an irritable drifter, and face helplessness and despair, in order to save the Earth from intelligent alien plants.
 
Inspird by a real headline...

Enid Blyton.jpeg


Five Put in Hospital by Legal High

Julian, Dick, Anne, George and Timmy the dog find excitement and adventure wherever they go in Enid Blyton's most popular series. In this, the darkest in the series yet, their happiness is spoilt when Timmy finds something Uncle Quentin has hidden up the Kirrin Cottage chimney. It's all the fault of that trusty fisherboy, of course, who mixed it badly, Taken to a far-off hospital, with waiting times and no ginger beer, they discover the psychoactive drug is actually part of another secret experiment by George's dad.
 
The Kingdom of UpknórTh

In the Kingdom of UpknórTh, the Sun rarely shines, and it is cold and always rains. However, the people are lovely, and everyone is lovely to everyone else in UpknórTh.

It is a land filled with vets, police chasing loveable rogues, and old men who engage in youthful activities while reminiscing about their childhood days. They speak a number of languages that no one other than themselves can understand. The Wizard of Teaveanfilum has cast a spell of the land of UpknórTh which means they must forever relive the first few years of the 1960's. Never can they have modern washing machines, and forever must they drink daily in the Public Houses of the Kingdom of UpknórTh.

Life could be idyllic in UpknórTh, if it were not for their evil rivals the SárfVenors. SárfVenors live in lands paved with Gold, and spend all day counting out their money. SárfVenors control the supply of funds and jobs into UpknórTh. UpknórTh is also a land where there are more sheep and trees than people. So, the correct address to any visiting SárfVenors is "This must be different for thee," followed by "Thy can get the Round in then."

But 'Summer is Coming' to UpknórTh. (That's simply an effect of Global Warming.)
 
Where's Wally

When Walter the teenager goes missing it turns into a nightmare for everyone else. When he left home the police said he was wearing very distinctive clothing, and he had enough cash that he could travel anywhere. But how can he continue to remain hidden? And does Wally really want to be found? Is he on the run from someone? He was last sighted in someones attic hiding under a pile of old children's books. Can someone disappear and yet no one gives a damn? Doesn't that seem strange to you?
 
Forgotten

"7946 N Western Ave, Chicago, IL, 312-555-0234." A strange tattoo, especially for a teenager. Blaine Gordon was highly intelligent and precocious with only a single fault. Whenever he heard the word "dream", he forgot everything, his name, his past, anything worth remembering. His family soon learned to avoid saying the word in his presence, and they banned radios, television, and all other media from the house. Most nights, he dreamed vividly, often of events about to take place. "Mom, I had one of those things last night," he would say in the morning. He was unable to say the word himself, as if it would take him down a black hole of memory. On February 29, 2028, he dreamed that he had stepped into someone else's dream. Planes fell from the sky. Ships ran aground. Cars crashed. All was forgotten.

Only Blaine remembered, and he had to figure out how to put the world back together.
 
Playboy Bunny

Muggins used to be gray, white and fluffy. Now he is a she, tall and slender with fake ears and tail, and no real fur to be found. Muggins' owner had been a 12-year-old named Charlotte, but she lost him in a bet. (She was so sure that Muggins was female.) Rupert became Muggins' new owner and he was adequate, until he took Muggins home. Rupert lived with uncle Darrin, who wasn't much older than he was, barely 21. Darrin was a creep, and he had plans for Muggins. It seemed like ordinary arugula, a little more peppery than usual, but no sooner had he finished the plate, he was looking down on it from a great height, and he was naked, except for a couple pieces of cloth and the aforementioned fake ears and tail. And he had breasts, only two of them, but but they were very sensitive. "It's time to earn your supper," Darrin leered, packing her into his car and driving to the nearest casino. It wouldn't be long before Darrin discovered what "mating like rabbits" really meant.
 
Tomorrow Never Knows

Because you still wondered what happened once Jack Malik had met his pop idol John Lennon, and gave back to the world the missing works of The Beatles, this sensational new novel continues the story from Yesterday, the most reasonably successful film of recent years. A chance discovery that all the songs sung at Karaoke have remained unchanged for the last thirty years, leads Jack and Ed Sheeran on a journey to investigate why musically talented children have been vanishing all over the world. Who exactly is the magical and mysterious Egg Man? Is a flight from Tucson to buy some Californian grass, really worth it? Is there nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be? And did we ever actually give peace a chance? The astonishing answers to these, and more, will make you question everything you think you know, and ask if music really has any future at all when living is easy with eyes closed?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
jw1fb0 Help! totally blanking on a book I read as a kid Book Search 4
Encephylops Totally gone?? Classic SF&F 11
Phil Brown Totally Rewritten Time Crystal Chapter 1 Critiques 11
Dave Totally Handmade Video of Star Wars Star Wars (films) 1
M Does anybody feel like that Lost is being totally dragged out? Lost 10

Similar threads


Back
Top