Fave Quotes (Terry Pratchett)

[Gilraen]

"We're on a mission from Glod" from soul music.

The dwarfish war cry in Guards! Guards! "Nee naw, nee naw, nee naw."

Brilliant stuff.

 

[Sci-Fi16]

You like the Watch and dwarfish stuff?, how about
'Today is a Good Day for someone else to Die!'
'FOC', I think.

 

[DCBastien]

never been to l-space. someone did a sg/discworld crossover at helio! fell asleep readin last nigh!

 

[Gilraen]

Sci-Fi16, I'd forgotten that one.

How about The Scone of Stone from FE. That one cracked me up.
Or the submarine with only beans and cabbage to eat! that was Jingo. That made me laugh soo hard I had to put the book down til I dried my eyes a bit!

 

[Sci-Fi16]

Originally posted by Skip
never been to l-space. someone did a sg/discworld crossover at helio! fell asleep readin last nigh!

You should read that one. I found it using the Helio search engine.
Think Daniel being curious (since when is he not?)
Think Luggage........

 

[DCBastien]

think *ouch monkey*

 

[Sci-Fi16]

Hahaha! Too right!
Say, Gilrean, if you're into Fan Fiction at all, that one is pretty good.
Just thought I'd include someone else. Not everyone knows of Helio.

 

[DCBastien]

fyi http://www.sg1-heliopolis.com

 

[The Ace]

The Scone of Stone was probably inspired by the Stone of Scone (Destiny) stolen from the sacred soil of Scotland by Edward Longshanks and stuck in Westminster Abbey. It was kept at Scone (near Perth) for centuries. Legend tells that it was Jacob's pillow brought from Egypt to Ireland by Scota, an egyptian princess. It's supposed to roar if any but the true King of Scots sits on it, but having been warmed by ample Hannoverian arses for centuries, we can discount this one. It was returned to Scotland by John Major in a pathetic attempt to revive Conservative fortunes North of the border. (weeks before the general election which wiped out Scotland's Tory MPs.) Pratchett's "thing and whole of the thing symbol," may refer to the theory that the stolen stone was not the original.

 

[Joel007]

Granny's eyes gleamed in the dusk.
Nanny knew enough to fling herself to the ground.
Granny Weatherwax's hand curved through the air like a comet and the spark flew out, crackling.
The bonfire exploded. A blue-white flame shot up through the stacked branches and danced into the sky, etching shadows on the forest. It blew off hats and overturned tables and formed figures and castles and scenes from famous battles and joined hands and danced in a ring. It left a purple image on the eye that burned into the brain.

-The Sea and Little Fishes

 

[PTeppic]

It's barely funny in its own right, but with the build-up I think it's one of the best scenes in the canon.

Death, you know, SPEAKS LIKE THIS, has decided to woo Renata in Reaper Man and has bought flowers and a box of chocolate probably big enough to surf on, but with totally black lid apart from a kitten. Or similar. And now he's in the jewellers, having been given the advice that diamonds are a girl's best friend. The problem for the jeweller, of course, is that whilst he is right up with it if asked about colour, timbre, sparkle, clarity and carats (note spelling, this is not an overly high dwarf who is definitely not the missing true king of Ankh), he is considerably less comfortable when asked about a jewel's friendliness. However, when the chase is cut by the skeletal one, he finds his understanding warming up to the concept.
(quoting from memory)

AND WHAT IS THE LARGEST DIAMOND ON THE DISC?

That would be the "Tear of Offler", the altar piece in the hidden Temple to Offler, deep in the jungles of Ee. And, sir, to forestall your next question, personally I'd go to bed with it!

 

[Joel007]

good quote I loved that one, especially the reference to indiana jones a bit later.

how about

"Any sulphurous incontinent cats come forward to confess?"

 

[3point142]

I can't remember who says it, or when, but I love..'Now we're cooking with charcoal!'Oh, and Cohen's advice on what's important in life - I can't remember it directly, and I won't spoil it by paraphrasing - I'm sure someone with a better memory than mine can help out.(2 posts now, I'm a demon!!)

 

[Joel007]

something like "hot water, good dentishtry, and shoft lavatory paper". (the others were stuff like all your enemies dead and their women weeping, or all your enemies living in fear of your name and stuff)

 

[Nesacat]

My favourite has to be...

"I meant," said Iplsore bitterly, "what is there in this world that makes living worthwhile?" Death thought about it. "CATS," he said eventually, "CATS ARE NICE."

~ Death talking to Ipslore in Sourcery ~

 

[Joel007]

Sorry I'm late BOOM BOOM

what?

sorry I'm late, its a joke.

I got that, Its the "boom boom" I didn't understand

Oh, thats to show you its a joke

Yes, i can see why that would be necessary.

(or something like that!)

 

[Nesacat]

From The Last Continent:
People's whole lives do pass in front of their eyes before they die. The process is called 'living'.


From Maskerade and in honour of the increasing use of exclamation marks (at least three usually close to 10) by my reporters and students:
Ahahahahaha! Ahahahaha! Aahahaha!
BEWARE!!!!!
Yrs sincerely
The Opera Ghost

"What sort of person," said Salzella patiently, "sits down and writes a maniacal laugh? And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head. Opera can do that to a man."

 

[zorcarepublic]

From Thud!

"Boys, if dere was a PhD in bein' fick, youse wouldn't be able to find a pencil"--Detritus

Also like the line in Jingo! where Detritus is not looking forward to going to Klatch. Will find it soon...

 

[zorcarepublic]

Oh, just remembered the philosophers of Ephebe. The:

"...if Xeno the Ephebian says 'all Ephebians are liars'..."

quote is one of the best...

 

[Joel007]

"Infidel! He has stolen the jeweled eye of- Your wife is a big hippo!"