Fave Quotes (Terry Pratchett)

Hehe.

"One particular tribe has an unfair reputation for ruthlessness simply because their enemies seem to be screaming, to them, 'Quick! Extra boiling oil!'"

Bit of a misquote, but what the hell.
 
I have so many favourites, it's hard to just pick a few. :D


"It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?"

I MUST SAY THESE ARE VERY GOOD BISCUITS. HOW DO THEY GET THE BITS OF CHOCOLATE IN?

Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck.

"Luck is my middle name," said Rincewind, indistinctly. "Mind you, my first name is Bad."

"Real children don't go hoppity-skip unless they are on drugs."

'Take us where we want to go or I'll fire this gnu at you!'

Johnny had seen films of American shopping malls. They must have different sorts of people in America, he'd thought. They all looked cool, all the girls were beautiful, and the place wasn't crowded with little kamikaze grandmothers.

Suicide was against the law. Johnny had wondered why. It meant that if you missed, or the gas ran out, or the rope broke, you could get locked up in prison to show you that life was really very jolly and thoroughly worth living.

And the timeless:
FABRICATI DIEM, PVNC.
 
Although a huge Discworld fan, I still think my favourite TP book is, by a whisker Good Omens - despite my original signed copy being 'borrowed' and never returned years ago :(

Death however makes an appearance there and still manages to come up with the goods:

"DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING," said Death, "JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH." (on the coming apocalypse)

and about the Angel Aziraphale:

"Ay people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide."
 
Good Omens is brilliant. :D

"Art thou a witch, viva espana?" - the Spanish Inquisition.

"ALL YOU CAN HOPE FOR IS THE MERCY OF HELL."
"Yeah?"
"JUST OUR LITTLE JOKE."

Kids! Bringing about Armageddon can be dangerous. Do not attempt it in your home.

The only time Crowley had bought petrol was once in 1967, to get the free James Bond bullet-hole-in-the-windscreen transfers, which he rather fancied at the time.
 
Actually, the pTerry has produced about as many quotes as Shakespeare. However, what this thread is doing is reminding me which discworld books I've not readin the last ten years; I'm going through "Jingo" now. (all my Pratchett books are shelved in someone elses toilet; I found they caused too much down time in mine)
But, from the explication of why seven league boots have disadvantages as a transport system up to the speedy coach in "Thud" (and probably beyond, but that's as far as I've got), quoteable lines are the rule rather than the exception.
 
I loved Jingo!

Don't be silly, loweroglyphs if you go lower...

sorry sarge.

Everyone knows you don't get loweroglyphs in these waters.
 
I don't blow everything up, sir. Some just melts.
Cheery Littlebottom to Vimes - Feet of clay
 
Oh, I've just remembered two more:

I AM DEATH, NOT TAXES. I TURN UP ONLY ONCE.
Feet of clay

DON'T PUT TOO MUCH TRUST IN ROOT VEGETABLES.
The Truth
 
It could not be happening because this sort of thing did not happen. Any contradictory evidence could be safely ignored. - Jingo

It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things. - Jingo
 
... perfectly ordinary books, printed on commonplace paper in mundane ink. It would be a mistake to think that they weren't also dangerous, just because reading them didn't make fireworks go off in the sky. Reading them sometimes did the more dangerous trick of making fireworks go off in the privacy of the reader's brain. - Soul Music
 
One of the best lines in Going Postal:

What sort of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? Apart from, say, the average voter.
 
From Soul Music
"I sort of got some leopard skin trousers, and a leopard skin shirt"
"You bought a leopard didn't you?"

(Or something like that)
 
Freedom may be mankind's natural state, but so is sitting in a tree eating your dinner while it is still wriggling. - Going Postal
 
"Zoology, eh? That's a big word, isn't it?" "No, actually it isn't," said Tiffany. "Patronizing is a big word. Zoology is really quite short."
 
Don't point your vinger at the patrician, unless you only want to be able to count to nine, without taking your shoes off or using someone else's hand
 
Cutangle: While I'm still confused and uncertain, it's on a much higher plane, d'you see, and at least I know I'm bewildered about the really fundamental and important facts of the universe.
Treatle: I hadn't looked at it like that, but you're absolutely right. He's really pushed back the boundaries of ignorance.

-Equal Rites
 
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