Fave Quotes (Terry Pratchett)

[Allegra]

'A great many rulers, good and bad and quite often dead, know what happend; a rare few actually manage, by dint of much effort, to know what's happening.' - Men At Arms

 

[bruno-1012]

How about:

The patrician believed in one man one vote. He is that one man he has the one vote.

The scene where the new Archchancelor tries out the shower room designed by BS Johnson. The warning sign on the dial marked vesuvious (or something)

What about if the shot isn't a million to one.

Or camels being named after the first thing they are called - You B*stard


But my favourite is from Colour of Magic when Death meets Rincewind in the market instead of on the other side of the world for a 'proper meeting' and is trying to persuade Rincewind to help him out - 'I COULD LEND YOU A FAST HORSE'

 

[Joel007]

His movements could be called cat-like, except that he did not stop to spray urine up against things.

 

[geordie bob]

The patrician advising vimes in Guards!guards!-Never trust any ruler who puts his faith in tunnels and bunkers and escape routes.The chances are that his heart isn't in the job.

 

[Joel007]

'And what would humans be without love?'
Rare, said Death.

 

[Xx_Death_of_Rats_xX]

SQUEAK

from The Reaperman..

 

[Joel007]

Welcome to chronicles

and

"No running with scythes!"

 

[sanityassassin]

proberly said a few times before but mine is "oook"

 

[Sibeling]

Inside every sane person there is a madman struggling to get out.

- Sourcery (I guess..)

 

[Faceless Woman]

We felt sorry for him because he lost his parents at such a young age. In retrospect perhaps we should have wondered about that. -The Hogfather

 

[Faceless Woman]

Also "We who are about to die don't want to." From Rincewind, of course.

 

[Joel007]

Morituri Nolumus Mori, i think
Great quote.

Si non confectus, non reficiat . (The patrician's motto)

 

[Allegra]

Interestingly enough, the gods of the disc have never bothered much about judging the souls of the dead, so people only go to hell if that's where they believe, in their deepest heart, that they deserve to go. Which they won't do if they don't know about it. This explains why it is important to shoot missionaries on sight.

- ERIC

 

[sci-fi girl]

Interested topic!!! One of my favourite quote is from Rincewind :

*L'important n'est pas où l'on fuit mais ce que l'on fuit. Je fuis donc je suis. Ou mieux, je fuis donc je serai encore*
Sorry I have read it in French but the general meaning is "no matter where you run as long as it's away from danger.

 

[Who's Wee Dug]

One of mine is when the match is lit in the room DEATH is there and says DARK IN HERE INIT

 

[Joel007]

The vermine is a small black and white relative of the lemming, found in the cold Hublandish regions. Its skin is rare and highly valued, especially by the vermine itself; the selfish little ******* will do anything rather than let go of it.
-- Discworld wildlife (Terry Pratchett, Sourcery)What our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is: "Why is it so dark in here?"
-- (Terry Pratchett, Pyramids)

 

[Joel007]

hmm, it deleted all the spaces from my post

well, I love this one

"Sometimes I really think people ought to have to pass a proper exam before they're allowed to be parents. Not just the practical, I mean."

-- (Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time)

 

[HoopyFrood]

I've been reading Mort all day, so I have of course been laughing to myself! And also, at one point, when Death finds the drowned kittens, I said out loud to msyelf "Aw, Death's really nice!" then realised how strange that would sound to anyone who happened to hear it!

Anyway...I have a couple!

"However, the Gods took pity on them and turned him into an ironing board** and her into a small brass bollard.

**When you're a God, you don't have to have reasons."
Footnote in Mort

"The Landlord tried to ignore this. "You like it?" he said to Mort, in pretty much the same tone of voice people used when they said to St George "You killed a what?" Mort once again!

Brilliant.

 

[Joel007]

There are some interesting Pratchett quotes not from books too. Here are some I like

"Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon..."

"A European says: I can't understand this, what's wrong with me? An American says: I can't understand this, what's wrong with him?
I make no suggestion that one side or other is right, but observation over many years leads me to believe it is true."

"My programming language was solder."

I especially like that last one, since I don't do programming, but I use a lot of solder

 

[HoopyFrood]

Wizards felt able to let their hair down without fear of being strangled with it
-- Sourcery