Fave Quotes (Terry Pratchett)

[Joel007]

[when asked if vimes would be involved in a death book]

TerryPratchett: "I suppose Vimes could arrest Death for being an accessory to murder"

 

[Faceless Woman]

Perditagnes (thinking): Its like he can read minds.
Vlad (speaking): No, just faces. (then a little later, in reply to another thought) Eats combs? (third time is the charm) Who is Perdita?

 

[HoopyFrood]

The following quotes are from Equal Rites:

"It had the thick texture of authentic Ankh water -- too stiff to drink, too runny to plough."

"The light was misty and actinic, the sort of light to make Steven Spielberg reach for his copyright lawyer."

 

[Joel007]

"The hat is a Zen disguise," he says. "If I take it off, I'm just another bald-headed, bearded man."

Pratchett's Interview with the Guardian

 

[High Eight]

"THERE IS NO HOPE BUT US. THERE IS NO MERCY BUT US. THERE IS NO JUSTICE BUT US. THERE IS JUST US.

LORD, ALL THINGS THAT ARE, ARE OURS. BUT WE MUST CARE. FOR IF WE DO NOT CARE, THEN WE DO NOT EXIST. IF WE DO NOT EXIST, THEN THERE IS NOTHING SAVE BLIND OBLIVION, AND EVEN OBLIVION MUST END SOMEDAY. LORD, WILL YOU GRANT ME A JUST A LITTLE TIME? FOR THE PROPER BALANCE OF THINGS. TO RETURN WHAT WAS GIVEN. FOR THE SAKE OF PRISONERS AND THE FLIGHTS OF BIRDS.


LORD, WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, IF NOT FOR THE CARE OF THE REAPER MAN?"

'Reaper Man'








"...go down to the docks and hire a troll and tell him to stand in the corner and if anyone else comes in and tries to play..." he paused, and then remembered, 'Pathway to Paradise,' I think they said it's called... he's to pull their head off."
"Shouldn't he give them a warning?" said Gibbsson.
"That will be the warning."

'Soul Music'

 

[Culhwch]

From Thud, not word for word but the gist:

Vimes knew he wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. He was probably a spoon.

 

[Sibeling]

Vimes asking Colon what's new.

-Corporal Nobbs is sick, sir.
-I know that.
-I mean off sick, sir.

(Feet of Clay)

 

[Steffi]

This one really made me laugh

"In Ghat they believe in vampire watermelons, although folklore is silent about what they believe about vampire watermelons. Possibly they suck back."



Carpe Jugulum.

 

[Susan Sto-Helit]

Ok, one of my favorite things to do is find great pTerry quotes!

As a teacher here are my favorite ed. related ones.

"Real children don't go hoppity-skip unless they are on drugs."

"Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on."

"She'd become a governess. It was one of the few jobs a known lady could do. And she'd taken to it well. She'd sworn that if she did indeed ever find herself dancing on rooftops with chimney sweeps she'd beat herself to death with her own umbrella."

-Susan, "Hogfather"

For anyone like me, who could sit and read Pratchett quotes for quite a while, here's an awesome website of quotes listed by book.

 

[Allegra]

For anyone like me, who could sit and read Pratchett quotes for quite a while, here's an awesome website of quotes listed by book.

Susan, do you mean the L-space site - http://www.lspace.org/books/pqf/index.html ?

 

[Susan Sto-Helit]

Whoops! I do but I forgot to paste the site address! I'll forget my own head next!

 

[Joel007]

You can't post URLs until you've reached 15 posts, that's probably why

 

[Susan Sto-Helit]

Oh that makes sense then. Thanks! Thought I was losing my mind for a minute there...oh wait, that's probably already happened!

 

[Joel007]

I remember one in Thud which went something like:

"They have dwarf bread?"
"I'm afraid so."
"Isn't it illegal to give that to prisoners?!"

 

[bruno-1012]

Just re-read Mort last night - started at midnight which was a mistake as I finished at 3am.

Loved the bit from the Conga line at the Patricians party:

'Behind Death the Patrician's small pet swamp dragon held on grimly to the bony hips and thought: guards or no guards, next time we pass an open window I'm going to run like buggery.'

Even rereading it again as I type I'm creasing up

 

[HoopyFrood]

This entire passage made me laugh:

"Admit it- she offered you hedonistic and licentious pleasures known only to those who dabble in the carnal arts, didn't she?"
The sergeant stood to attention and stared straight ahead.
"No, sir," he said, in the manner of one speaking the truth come what may. "She offered me a bun."
"A bun?"
"Yes, sir. It had currants in it."
Felmet sar absolutely still while he fought for internal peace. Finally, all he could manage was, "And what did your men do about this?"
"They had a bun too, sir. All except young Roger, who isn't allowed fruit, sir, on account of his trouble."
The duke sagged back on the window seat and put his hand over his eyes...He's going to tell me what this Roger had.
"He had a biscuit, sir."

-- Wyrd Sisters

 

[Joel007]

Such an awesome book thanks for the quote hoopy!

 

[HoopyFrood]

Hehe no problem...You're right, this book is brilliant, I seem to be laughing every other page (as opposed to, say, every fifth page in all the other Pratchett's!) This is definitely my favourite Discworld book so far!

 

[HoopyFrood]

I can't quote it all, because it's a long passage, but the entire mugging scene in Wyrd Sisters. Bloody hilarious. Especially:
"It's way over my quota, that is."
"Give it back, then," said Tomjon.
"But I done him a receipt!"

Haha...I love this book.

 

[Urlik]

misquote alert!

"Life flourishes everywhere it can. Where it can't it takes longer" Science of Discworld

"We were going to have a chapter on free will but decided not to so here it is" chapter title from Science of Discworld 3 (Darwin's Watch)