Last Student
And that's what so disturbing, Ysm... that there will probably *always* be one last student. And once you've been there yourself and 'seen the elephant' you want to save each and everyone of them from what happened to you.
And you can't.
All you can do is pass on every hard lesson you learned and hope that's one more they don't find out about the hard way.
I friend just sent me a Mercy Lackey song I've been hunting for for awhile and it really says it best.
The Price of Command
This is the price of commanding---
That you always stand alone,
Letting no one near
To see the fear
That's behind the mask you've grown.
This is the price of commanding.
This is the price of commanding---
That you watch you dearest die,
Sending women and men
To fight again,
And you never tell them why.
This is the price of commanding.
This is the price of commanding,
That mistakes are signed in red---
And that you won't pay
But others may,
And your best may wind up dead.
This is the price of commanding.
This is the price of commanding---
All the deaths that haunt your sleep.
And you hope they forgive
And so you live
With your memories buried deep.
This is the price of commanding.
This is the price of commanding---
That if you won't, others will.
So you take your post,
Mindful of each ghost---
You've a debt to them to fill.
This is the price of commanding.
And this is what Hammond and O'Neill and every Officer and NCO who's ever held command faces. I know of those who thirsted for command so bad they could taste it...wanted that 'thrill' of being in charge.
I've had it... and for every 'good' situation, it provides at least one that leaves a bitter taste in your mouth and comes back to visit you in your dreams.
I've had the 'joy' of command. I wish to God I never did.
On a cheerier note... "hump ruck": nickname for carring your military backpack, known as a rucksack. When you're out in the field, you're 'humpin' your ruck'.
And those suckers get heavier each day even though you're eating stuff, etc. Some sort of inverse law of material dimensions or something.