Suicide - Always read the first post please

[Rane Longfox]

Well, I have experience with a loved one attempted suicide (It failed). They were very mentally unstable (Bipolar Disorder - gods, I hate calling it that )

Looking back, its easier to deal with, they weren't themselves at all, the doctors said they were bordering on schitzophrenic at the time, and since then, after a short stay in hospital and staying on a drug prescription, they've been fine since. Because of this, and the trauma it caused me and everyone else at the time, I know I could never attempt suicide, no matter how bad things were, I wouldn't have the courage myself, I'm too damn optimistic at heart, however badly I try to hide it, and I couldn;t inflict that kind of suffering on people I love...

 

[Maryjane]

There are treament programs with medications that work quite well and the mental health consumer in some casses becomes stable enough to lead a normal life, jobs, home, family etc. But when it comes to alcohol and street drugs (more so street drugs) are usually the ones that end in tragedy. They just cannot get a hold of a relitavly simple progam on how to cope with life and fall back into their old environment. Once back on any kind of mood altering substances the psychotropic medications are nutrelised. I think schitsofrenia, bipolar and other mental disorders have a better chance at recovery with the proper therapy and medication. One needs to want to get better, not just want to but deparate like the man or woman over board trying to grab unto the life preserver just thrown to him or her by his or her crew mates. I hope I am able to educate a few people on this subject, I don't only work as a mental health support worker I have been through it as well.

 

[Maryjane]

If I hadn't spent so many years burning out brain cells with alcohol I proably would have a degree in astrophysics research today.

 

[Michael]

I have trained and worked as a "peer counselor." I have not really tried to hurt myself at any time, but I have had difficulties with emotional stability. Some of the things I have done as a result, although not suicidal, were very selfish. Other times, however, I was just hurting so much that I could not think clearly at all--about myself or anyone. Sometimes I *only* thought of others, and hated myself for feeling bad. None of that was very productive, anyway.

As I get older, however, I start to think it's easy to die. Living is much harder. I don't necessarily mean that suicide is "easy." I mean exactly what I said: *dying* is easy. Whether it's an accident, a disease, the deliberate act of oneself or another human being, it can happen so suddenly--to anyone, anywhere. To illustrate: I watched a horror film recently (*Ginger Snaps*), and none of the really graphic stuff bothered me. The scene that bothered me most was when the girl slipped on spilled milk and cracked her skull on the counter. We need to remain vigilant, it seems, even in the most mundane circumstances, to stay alive.

I did not feel this way when I was young. I took lots of chances that I would not consider today.

 

[Maryjane]

Life is capricious and has it's ups and downs and we don't know when we will buy the farm and it's just as well that our minds are filled with the needs for our emidiate survival and leasure time instead of dark thoughts of death. To make for a good happy life one needs a mixture of stressers like survival, leasure and pleasure. I still fret over stuff but not anything like I use to. I try to stay focused on one day at a time and only just make plans for the future not plan the outcome. One may have to change their plans several times before aquiering the gole they have set for themselves. I have a wonderfull sense of humor and I usually do a good job turning a minor disater into humor. And to be sure if I hit the counter with my head when I fall and I die I won't know the diference anyways so why worry about such things, and if I survive and I'm in the hospital with a bandage wraped around my head my love would be there at the bedside with a big smille and aboquet of flowers Well for one thing my bones and muscles are a little to stiff to do those kind of stunts I did when I was younger but if it weren't for that I would still have a few stunts and adventures in me. I use to relive my youthfullnes with my kids. Now I do it at work and on this forum and a couple of cahtrrooms

 

[Michael]

Usually I think more about the people I love when it comes to that--like my son. But hey, whether or not life is hard, I still want to *live*! The truth is that I actually seem to enjoy life more, appreciate the people who care about me more, and my son is a real blessing. I just don't take anything for granted anymore.

 

[Maryjane]

I agree with you Michael and stop to trully see the colllors, smell the smells and hear the sounds and just be alive, sharing your life. Forget the office when you leave the office and live the rest of the day doing something that will make you apreciate life

 

[Maryjane]

Human feelings are as varied as all the shades of collors in the known prizom. Like plankton flowing with the crests and eddies of ocean waves. Imagine yourself floating on these eddies and crests and see feel the cadelescope of collors of human emotion as you flow and feel the intencity of each of the moods. To many people fear exploring at these depths, it makes them uncomfortable. Yet it is a soul freeing experience much like a spiritual experience Like a bottomles well that contains your soul, we are but a spark in time and space made into mater, a receptical for the soul. The recepticle has the potential to be much more supperior to our presant senses. And some say they are to sensitive, well, may who is all bless your soul. Ever see anyone especially kids and happy content elderly people, they seam so inocent and lovable that they apear to almost glow. If one can aquiere that just by training their minds into a meditive state for just 20 minutes each day It would help to put sun shine in each day you oppen your eyes to.

 

[mac1]

I have just read this thread, and I just wanted to say that I feel very touched by it (it almost reduced me to tears). Some of you have clearly had some horrible experiences and it really saddens me. I have been depressed before, but I have never considered hurting myself, and I cant imagine I ever will. I would just like to say that if anyone is reading this and giving serious thought to self harm or suicide, please reconsider. The world is a beautiful place, you just have to stop and look around at the little things in life. When you are down, everything in the world becomes a disaster but this is often just the way your mind percieves it. By all means change your lifestyle, get a new job, move house, try and make new friends, just do something to break the flow you are in, it may not seem like much, but change will help. Find a way to appreciate life, be it art, poetry, photography, or something else that appeals to you. I realize the world can be a very lonely place, but it is full of wonderful loving people, please dont give up on them, open your eyes they are all around you. If you really need help, then you already know it, please go and see a doctor. If you are experiencing depression, then you already know its a serious illness, so why not go and get help like you would any other illness, its nothing to be ashamed of. There are millions of people worldwide who feel the same as you, you are not alone, you need not feel alone. To those of you that are down, I have nothing but love for all of you, please believe me when I say that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, things can only get better, but you need to be positive, stay optimistic, and accept the love of others, dont give up on us, people care about and love you, talk to them, they will listen, I promise.

 

[Alia]

I know this is an old subject... and for that I'm sorry for adding my thoughts so late in the game.

I believe that everyone has bad experiences in life that make us sad… no one is immune to this. If you live in this world we all experience sadness in one way or another.

But it wasn’t until a few years ago did I truly understand depression and what a effect it has on people. My 5 year son told me one day that he would rather be dead then to be stupid (he has learning disabilities)... okay maybe that seems twisted to everyone, but if you understood my family it was really weird. I don't even let the kids call each other names, especially stupid. I was taken back a little then I shrugged it off thinking he must have heard it from school. A few months went by and he went into a rage (yes a rage!) and threw himself down in from of the car and told me to run him over. He wanted to be dead... alright now I took action. I knew something was wrong.

After a year of looking and talking to counselors, I found a doctor who said that something was wrong and it wasn't all in my head. My son was diagnosed with extreme anxiety that is display in rage. (He also has ADHD and OCD - which we have a lot of fun with the OCD! ) He takes an anti-depressant to help him calm down and I have to say life is much better. It wasn't until he opened my eyes on how sad he really is... it’s a chemical imbalance in him, a misfiring. He is a wonderful and compassionate person, but he has depression!

Suicide is real and final, just as depression is real and it hurts, not just the person who suffers but also all those around them. Some day I may have to face the effects of suicide, I pray I don't (and that is why we have a Psychologist!). Death is not an easy subject, but it is even harder when someone else takes thier own, especially our own children! Recognizing the symptoms as early as possible can help save a life. I know we take steps every day with our son to let him know how much he is loved in our home!
What's interesting about our home is that no one suffers with this illness except for my son and we all pull pranks on one another. (Yeah, we have an exciting house.lol) Within the last few months my son has started to pull pranks too, which is nice (he was so serious before). One thing I tell him over and over is life is meant to be fun! It's not a chore!
So live and enjoy!
Alia

 

[Leto]

As a person who suffer from depression I've got pretty strong suicidal tendencies in the wee hours of the night from time to time, but fortunatly for me I fear pain a lot (no knive, no scissors), have no weapon nor ropes home, and live too low to be killed if I jumped through the window (just incapacitated), no known drugs to kill without pain. Brief, took all the precautions needed not to do fatal moves on impulsion. Except those insane moments, I don't considered suicide as an option, except if I was terminally ill.

 

[Brian G Turner]

Hey, Alia, best wishes with your son.

 

[Winters_Sorrow]

Well, as far as the vote goes - I went for the "life's too precious" option instinctively.
Although on reflection, I'd possibly have to say 'Other' as in considered & discarded the option.

I had a rough time when I was growing up and I'd be lying if I said I didn't contemplate suicide at more than one point. My mum & dad had just got divorced, my mum had been committed to the nuthouse for severe depression and I was living with foster parents.
Not great, all things considered.
I started having a re-occuring nightmare of my (small) coffin being lowered into the earth and dirt shovelled on top.
My school became my refuge, really. I was so traumatised by the complete & sudden loss of all my family at aged 8. My cousins/uncles/aunties were up in Scotland at the time and to this day I am unsure if they knew the extent of it all at the time...

Anyway, luckily it never came to suicide, I'm far too chicken and squeamish to slit my wrists or anything (good job I didn't live in a country with a gun policy - I may have considered that option at the time)
After a few months, my mum was released and I went back home. She's still on medication to this day, but (baring a few minor 'relapses') things are about as normal as they get.

I still love my mum, but I can't help harbouring feelings of resentment that she took the 'easy' way out in terms of mental illness. Intellectually I know this to not be the case - she had just reached her breaking point and broke, but emotionally - she broke and I was left to fend for myself.
I've been her 'rock' since then, and I guess I always will be. I'm not so certain that you can ever 'cure' mental illness, really.

Anyway, I digress - suicide, nope, never will. I especially think it's ill-concieved when you're very young. I got very sad when in the UK not so long ago, 3 school children killed themselves because of bullying (erm, in seperate cases - not together)
I agree with earlier posters that if i was very ill or in incredible pain, it can seem tempting (I probably still wouldn't do it).
Even when life's bitter, it's still the sweetest drink in town.

Message Ends....

 

[Alia]

Hey Winter's Sorrow, I agree with you "Even when life's bitter, it's still the sweetest drink in town"!
Lack of understanding seems to be a major problem, even in my life dealing with my son. I find that those who best understand have an open mind or have a similar situation in thier lives.
Both sides of the family, my husbands and mine, all think that it's an act my son is putting on and we are letting him get away with it and they don't help us at all, in fact they critize me for putting my son on medication. It's kind of sad that no one wants to face the fact that drepression is real. Denial is easy for those who don't see it on a daily basis.

For now we are all doing great at the moment (we live day to day around here and today is back to school after a week's holiday and we're all happy about that, even my son who can't wait to get back to his circle of friends! *two thumbs up*) and I thank you Brian for your thoughts!

Alia

 

[GrownUp]

*This is the first thread in my campaign of plagerism, please only reply here if you are willing to share your ideas with me, and possibly have them attributed to some of my fictional netheads, i don't expect genuine replies, about genuine circumstances, this is a very tough topic, thats why i'm having difficulty in formulating all of the responses myself.*

Is suicide a genuine way out? Or just a cop out? have you tried it? or had to deal with the suicide of a loved one? Or worked to prevent the suicide of a loved one.

Hey Princess. I haven't any experience of getting that upset. I think boys feel that bad more often than women, but although it may touch a lot of people in their lives most people I guess probably haven't been there.

Mind you what I've read of this thread is mostly everyone watching and not being able to touch and it's so full of love and strength it must be a resource for endlessly human characters for you.

But approaching committing suicide itself. Most can't have been there. For you as a writer to take people to such a place is quite a heroic mission. If I put my two cents in from a purely writing point of view I reckon the circumstances are likely to be so different for different people it would be harder for people to relate to if a motivation for suicide was described as being related to specific events or conversations or even ongoing trauma. Once the general framework for a character is laid out I reckon the best description of suicidal thoughts should be analogous, and physical. Like falling, or light fading. The sort of things that relate to being terrified and to letting go.

 

[Space Monkey]

If things were that bad, then I'd consider it. But I'm talking so bad that life was already over, such as being in the dying stages of a terminal disease or being a really old guy and having lost everyone you ever cared about in your life.

Being the eternal optimist, I believe I'd bounce back from anything that could happen in my younger years though; I'd have to be in the twilight of life to truly believe there was no future or hope, and either have no-one left or no chance of surviving illness.

But life is ours to end as we choose, so long as you realise the ramifications and how you'll affect people around you. If that isn't an incentive not to kill yourself, then I don't know what is.

 

[Alia]

I'm going to open mouth and insert foot and I'm sure that I'll regret it but I have to ask...
Isn't suicide a selfish act that one imposes on themselves because they feel they are alone? Or am I off on this? I assume that if they thought of others and how they would feel about their actions then they wouldn't follow through.

And just to add...
Grown Up, I don't necessarily believe that boys feel bad more often then girls. I'm more incline to think the other way around.

But hey it's just my thoughts.
Alia

 

[GrownUp]

And just to add...
Grown Up, I don't necessarily believe that boys feel bad more often then girls. I'm more incline to think the other way around.
Alia

Hi Alia. I didn't say that either males or females felt bad more often. I said that boys felt that bad more often. Suicidally bad. Boys commit suicide more often. And much more often.

Although I'm sure that is not how it is represented in fiction.

It's not important anyhow. If this was a thread about self-harm, not suicide, then it would be relevant that woman cut themselves (not mortally) more often. And I haven't ever been in that situation either.

Either way, I'm on the outside.

(But I'll say now, on a completely unrelated note to the above, that I also reckon that boys do just feel bad more often than women. On a large scale.

Mind you, I take partially as a guide the people that I've known in the world only. And what they've expressed to me.

It could be that each sex occasionally feigns weakness to the other sex as a device to try to become close. So I expect lasses aren't so likely to wander up to me and start on how sad they feel etc. etc. Giving me a slightly skewed perspective. But not so much.

I do see, really, that boys upset more, easier. It's half the world's population; their nature oughtn't to be ignored. Listening to the empathy and self-expression of the contributers to this thread it makes me wish access to self-expression and such sympathy was available to more of the young men who feel sad often, as men. Men are men. And men are often sad.

If this truth was allowed then the suicide statistics must surely go down.

Good grief. This is becoming a rant. Sorry.)

 

[Quokka]

I'd disagree that males feel 'bad' or suicidal more oftern than women. Males are more successful at suicide attempts, this is largely due to the differing methods that males/female choose, men are much more likely to use firearms and cars/bikes (the real suicide rates are much higher than whats published because police will oftern record it as an accident unless its absolutly certain, partly out of respect for the deceased and family) whilst females choose over dose or slashing wrists, of course these are trends only and many factors influence how a suicide attempt is made not least by what is available ie. Australian males in the country are many times more likely to commit suicide by firearm than someone in a city.
Another factor is that females are still more likely to seek help for depression, in part due to the sex stereotypes, boys still oftern feel that being a man means being in control and that certainly includes their emotions. Also as has been brought up already their is still alot of misunderstanding and that depression can be a very physical condition, possibly by chemical imbalances or drug use.

On the personal side, in my late teens i definitely had my ups and downs, my periods as the 'black prince' as my girlfriend (now wife) used to call them. Alot of it was from internal-conflict about my life although what i thought of as recreational use with various drugs looking back was probably a bit of self-medicationas well.

I never attempted suicide, partly due to attempts by friends and family (some successful some not) but more because i always thought that death was a certainty at some point, we all get to see that option anyway and by any outcome afterwards (heaven, nothing, spirit etc) this life of mine is such a brief moment compared to eternity that i could endure some pain for what may be a one time experience. Funnily enough that always seemed a comfort to me.

I should add that I always had a good network of friends and family that even if i felt they didnt understand me about some things, i knew they cared and supported me and that's something alot of people who do attempt suicide don't feel they have.

Sorry to ramble on, just my 2 cents.

 

[GrownUp]

Males are more successful at suicide attempts, this is largely due to the differing methods that males/female choose, men are much more likely to use firearms and cars/bikes (the real suicide rates are much higher than whats published because police will oftern record it as an accident unless its absolutly certain, partly out of respect for the deceased and family) whilst females choose over dose or slashing wrists, of course these are trends only and many factors influence how a suicide attempt is made not least by what is available

Oh no. I'd have to strongly disagree with you there. The difference (acknowledged generally, not just my opinion) is not the difference in method but the difference in intention. Some women do hang or shoot themselves. Some do want to take their lives.
But many of the people who take overdoses or slit their wrists do not intend to die. They'll generally repeat their attempts. The conclusion of this series of suicide attempts is not their eventual death. The behaviour itself is a pattern of self harm. The sharp-end limit of the similar behaviour of cutting themselves, reopening wounds etc.
The ratio male/female suicides in America, if I recall correctly, last year, is 4:1. The women are not many times less efficient! 'Unsuccessful' suicide attempts are not included in the statistics because they are not anything like the same thing. Seriously. It is bigly different.

Another factor is that females are still more likely to seek help for depression, in part due to the sex stereotypes, boys still oftern feel that being a man means being in control and that certainly includes their emotions. Also as has been brought up already their is still alot of misunderstanding and that depression can be a very physical condition, possibly by chemical imbalances or drug use.

Absolutely. Depression is a disease. People would never expect someone with cancer to 'pull themselves together' and 'think about how you're making everyone else feel.'
Plenty of hurtful misunderstanding out there in the world.

On the personal side, in my late teens i definitely had my ups and downs, my periods as the 'black prince' as my girlfriend (now wife) used to call them. Alot of it was from internal-conflict about my life although what i thought of as recreational use with various drugs looking back was probably a bit of self-medicationas well.

I never attempted suicide, partly due to attempts by friends and family (some successful some not) but more because i always thought that death was a certainty at some point, we all get to see that option anyway and by any outcome afterwards (heaven, nothing, spirit etc) this life of mine is such a brief moment compared to eternity that i could endure some pain for what may be a one time experience. Funnily enough that always seemed a comfort to me.

I should add that I always had a good network of friends and family that even if i felt they didnt understand me about some things, i knew they cared and supported me and that's something alot of people who do attempt suicide don't feel they have.

Sorry to ramble on, just my 2 cents.

I'm glad you had support to see you through it.

Mind you. 'Black prince'. Sounds kind of sexy.