[Workshop] Engage me quickly!

Hello everyone! I'm new and this my first post.
Thanks for a cool place to work and play with words.

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The war was almost over when he was captured. Three months in solitary now. Imprisoned he was unable to sabotage the enemy superweapon program. Still the allies were closing in. Who had won the race? Who had won the war? Soon the cell door would be opened. But by who?
 
Everyone stared as we rode into camp. Hands froze mid-movement as if danger approached; conversations died on the breeze between lip and ear; eyes followed our measured progress. Ka’Lexonur, my Ma’Aanar and one of the most esteemed Balancers, nodded to those he passed. I kept my eyes straight ahead.

I realize they aren't entering a room but I hope an entry (into a given space) would be acceptable.
 
The footsteps picked up pace behind me. Sweat was rolling off my forehead as I looked for a place to hide. There, a door. I ducked inside the building. I hid in the shadows and prayed. The door opened and the woman entered reaching for my soul.
 
Leroy had lost at cards and spent too much on drink the night before and now he had a hangover. The saloon was suddenly quiet as his bulk loomed in the doorway. No-one dared look up. "Who's buyin'?" he coughed: "Rattlesnake bitch last night took me for my last dollar." :)
 
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Dralec walked into the room. That was the last thing he ever done. And the first.

XD Vampire fiction anyone?
 
I just thought of a new variation of my above =)

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David Bookerman walked into the room. That was the last thing he ever done. He now answered only to the name Jake Lucio.
 
The door burst open. There stood Count Darkula, fangs glistening, eyes burning.
"You!" raged Cynthia, "Wipe your feet! I'm not having blood all over my nice clean floor again!"
 
She walked up to the bar counter and sat down on a stool, crossing her long legs. She ordered gin and tonic. All eyes were on the mirror reflecting bottles behind the bar as she pulled off her T shirt up over her head, and shook her breasts free ...
 
The surface-lander came down to hover over the clearing and the door opened, emitting a stream of light. Eilderoess ran to the ladder and strapped himself in beside the pilot. He was still tightening the straps as the craft began to rise away from the planetary surface ...
 
His breathing was slow and taught as he stood behind the opened door. Fingers gripping the pistol, he knew he would only have one shot. Looking down at the dusty floorboards he saw the drawn out shadow of a figure approaching. The person stopped just inside the door and sighed. "I can hear you breathing Jonesy" he said...
 
Gwillum's eyes widened as the door opened behind him, sending a shiver down his neck as his father entered.

'Take heart, young one,' Tharnhos rasped, pressing a knife into the quivering youth's hand. 'You still have a chance, and a chance is more than any of us dared hope for!'
 
Raziel4707 said:
Gwillum's eyes widened as the door opened behind him, sending a shiver down his neck as his father entered.

'Take heart, young one,' Tharnhos rasped, pressing a knife into the quivering youth's hand. 'You still have a chance, and a chance is more than any of us dared hope for!'
Click to expand...

Excellent :)
 
This man's eyes were not the ones that anyone sane would want to meet, ever. They were black as the deepest pits of hell as he advanced toward me, bloodstained dagger brandished.
"Why do you cry little girl? Because you will die?" The rasping voice sent shivers down my back.
 
The saloon doors burst open. The man who entered was big enough to block the sunlight from outside.

"It's my husband." Lucille's red fingernails bit into my arm.

For a minute I knew I was dead.

But he was weeping.

"You picked a fine time to leave me," he said.
 
As I sat tied in the small wooden chair, he advanced toward me.
"Stay away from me," I spat in the iciest voice i could manage.
"No."
It was then that I resigned myself to the fact that I was going to die at this man's hand, but not without a fight...


(For more, go to my blog... I'm working on it)
 
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