Improving our 75 Word Stories -- READ FIRST POST

TheDustyZebra said:
Could we possibly have that tattooed on your forehead? :whistle:
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You're dead to me now :D And so is Headstones... :p

The Judge said:
Remind me to quote this when I deliver next year's Challenge Statistics and a certain Special Someone complains his name doesn't appear. ;)
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Yeah, but... I just think it's more a case of the principle of the matter. In any accolade thread my name should be mentioned on account of my tolerance of all your elvey-fairy-wairy-wandy-stick-stick stories and absence of supernatural horror.

And, for the record, my 75 word stats are not so good :p

Luiglin said:
I was serious this month. Too subtle by the looks but at least serious ;)
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I shall check it out on the way home, Luiglin. I did not participate in this month's challenge due to the genre <yawn> so I never read any of them. You lot are coercing me to read far more fantsy than I should, or would, had I never happened upon this place. It's a disgrace! What with @The Big Peat @HareBrain @Dan Jones TJ and others too numerous to (remember) mention, I have been flooded with a smorgasboard of changelings, halfbreeds, halfwits, Smashy-Bang-Bangs, dragons, unicorns and what not, and whenever a demon is mentioned it is a 'shapeshifter' or a 'warlock wraith demon from Boolara' and never Belial et al.

Actually, why do I stay here? :D

pH
 
Joshua Jones said:
I was really amazed that I received as much positive feedback as I did in April's 75 worder. That said, my intent in entering these challenges is to improve as a writer, so I would like to solicit reviews and suggestions for improvement. Here is what I submitted:

Of Fun and Dwarves.
A pretty elf sat at the table. “Hi, I’m Enwen” she said warmly.
The dwarf snorted and glared. “Rigel”
“Ok, then…” she said. “Tell me about yourself.”
“Nutin to tell” he replied grumpily.
“Ok… do you have any hobbies?”
“Splittin’ skulls.”
“Oh…I see…”
“Time!” the moderator called. Enwen fled and was replaced with a dwarvish woman.
“Hi, I’m Arthira. What do you like to do?”
He laughed vigorously. “Scare speed dating elves!”
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Some sound advice already given, Joshua. I would add that, uniquely in the challenges, first impressions are very important. Although I read a lot of the stories when they're first submitted I give them all a read through at the end when it comes to deciding how to vote.

There are usually at least 40 entries to read and it's just human nature that some are going to grab your attention more than others - sometimes for the right reason and sometimes for the wrong. Ease of reading makes a difference and I think paragraphs and dialogue should be separated with a space line. Punctuation has already been mentioned. These may seem minor points but, sometimes, it is these minor points that make the difference.

Good luck with future entries. :)
 
Luiglin said:
Cause of the halfwit smashy-bang-bang halfbreed unicorn dragon changeling that enjoys a good smorgasbord when on dates with a shapeshifting warlock wraith demon from Boolara.

Edit: I wonder if I could get all of that in a 75?
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I think you just did.

You're dead to me now :D And so is Headstones... :p
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Good! Now I can haunt you properly.
 
Are we talking about the number of posts without being recognised as a month's winner, or how many without receiving a vote? (if anyone is trying for the most entries without a mention you can do it without me. Just thinking of adding a 'mentions' column, then going back over the eighty+ challenges to retrieve them all - ugh.) Either way, I doubt if either of you is in the running.
 
Unless a tie counts as a win (I lost the tiebreaker in record fashion!) that title has got to be mine. I believe I've entered ever 75 word contest save 2, and have no wins to show.
 
nixie said:
My memory is playing tricks, i could have sworn you had won a challenge Parson:oops:
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No, in one of the very early challenges, I raced out to a big lead, but was caught on the last day. In the tie breaker I received exactly 2 more votes than I received originally.
 
Here's my May 75. The piece was meant to be about an urban mage committing suicide by casting the lots of the same spell he'd bought from different shops. The idea if the frost is that like his life, once it's gone it's irreplaceable.

I do realise that somewhere I should have inserted that he was casting a sleep spell. Just ran out of words.

Comments, good, bad, ugly as always happily accepted :)

Irreplaceable

Frost turned the window into a work of art and for a time it took him away.

Reality though is a horrid beast, giving you enough rope to fly then perversely yanking you back.

The spell and components were all legally available from any high street alchemist, although he'd had to visit a few to get the volume required.

Wishing for peace, he cast.

The frost on the window melted, something else irreplaceable, now lost.
 
Luiglin said:
I do realise that somewhere I should have inserted that he was casting a sleep spell. Just ran out of words.

Comments, good, bad, ugly as always happily accepted :) Irreplaceable
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No worries, my friend. I believe we've all chopped off too much in our stories (edit), sometimes. Leaving a slight blur as to what we are really trying to convey.

All I can say is, if you have time before the deadline, don't post it right away. Be sure to read it a few times, and when you feel satisfied, post it. I rushed a few of my stories, and had typos. :rolleyes:

But, when I judge a tale, I look beyond mistakes.
 
Luiglin said:
The piece was meant to be about an urban mage committing suicide by casting the lots of the same spell he'd bought from different shops. The idea if the frost is that like his life, once it's gone it's irreplaceable.

I do realise that somewhere I should have inserted that he was casting a sleep spell.
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I'm afraid I didn't get much of that from the story. Buying the same stuff from lots of shops, yes. The rest, not so much.

I think maybe trying to tie it in to the frost is too ambitious a project for 75 words, and not really necessary?

The spell didn't come across to me as being a sleep spell -- he was wishing for peace, which in these times would definitely be a monumental undertaking, so it made sense that he needed a massive batch for it. But I didn't put all the various elements together to come up with your intent, and it left me rather puzzled.

As a side note, is "high street" something that denotes a city? I know the term, but wasn't sure if it might apply to villages as well.
 
@TheDustyZebra agree, probably would have been better as a 300. High Street is a British term. I'd say for the good majority of British towns that the main road going through them is called a High Street. As such it is a bit of a national colloquialisms, even to the point of phrases like 'fashion on the High Street'.

@Starbeast the problem is that I did leave it and reread :) Definitely not enough words.
 
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