New Crackpot Theory

Of course he isn't really alive. Not in the normal sense. For - and this being the crackpot theory thread, this is the place to reveal the Truth - as magic returns to the world, a price must be paid: the souls of the dead, who return in the guise of the Others....
 
Isn't there some speculation that the Others are vampires? I could see Joffrey as a blood-sucking leech, draining the life out of people and enjoying every minute of it. If Joff's still alive in any shape or form, I'm flying to the US to throw custard pies at GRRM. Don't even try to stop me!
 
Speaking of blood suckers.... Mesanna, while you're here you should take a ride on an old Mississippi river boat and read GRRM's Fevre Dream. It's a one book novel. It was so good...
 
I've read good reviews of Fevre Dream and I do like a good vampire novel. I've put it on my (very long) To Be Read pile.
 
Clever enough to fake his own death.

(Well Joffrey must be alive: he didn't die in his own POV. ;):))

Come on.... Joff never had a POV... Cripes!!!

If GRRM would have given Joff a POV I would have flown to him and hit his head, ...HARD!!!!

As for the FM, as it is with Arya in Bravoos, and this theory about Ned, Syrio, Varys and Jaquen.......its seems that the FM are working for the Starks....
And Jaquen owning 3 lives to Arya.....that is curious....

GOD!! I need to re-read ASOIAF....:(
 
Who will surprise us all and live? Walder Frey? Stannis? BFS? Roose Bolton? TK could show us many threads for this.

For your consideration:

what's your ideal end to ASOIAF

Who's death? (SUPER MAJOR SPOILERS THROUGH AFFC)

You know its coming. who gets the Axe? [SPOILERS]

Foreshadowing in ASOIAF

Who will rule in Westeros at the end of ASOIAF?


I could go on, but I was not really sure what you were after. Most of all this, in this thread and the future of certain characters has been discussed in different threads before. I could take time to lay them all out but people would get annoyed with me (and I'm not really in the mood).
 
Sorry but wasn't BFS at the Tower of Joy also? Why wouldn't he know the truth?

As I recall, Barristan wasn't at the Tower. The only survivors were Ned and Howland. Can't remember how many Kingsguard were there, but all of them died there. Gerald Hightower, Arthur Dayne and I think 2 more, whom I'm unable to recall.
 
It was Arthur Dayne I was thinking of....that's right.
 
jules, the pertinent information comes from AGOT, Chapter Forty, Eddard's tenth POV. The Kingsguard at the Tower of Joy were three in number... Lord Commander Ser Gerold "The White Bull" Hightower, Ser Arthur "The Sword of the Morning" Dayne, and Ser Oswell Whent. The men joining Eddard were Martyn Cassell, Theo Wull, Brandon Glover, Howland Reed, Ser Mark Ryswell, and Lord William Dustin.
 
SPOILERS BELOW






I thought I'd attempt to lighten the mood as we all wait for ADWD by offering what is maybe the craziest crackpot theory ever posted on this board.

Eddard Stark is not dead.

There, I said it. Now for the flimsy "proof"

The first is execution by omission. By that I mean, Eddard wasn't killed in his own POV. Why wasn't he? GRRM could have provided us with an amazing glimpse into the mind/thoughts of someone who thought he was going to live but then suddenly found out he was going to really be executed. Instead we get to experience the execution, which leads me to my second piece of evidence

Arya sees her father from a distance and if he wasn't to look like Eddard I suspect that Arya may not have even thought it was her father. I propose that someone, probably Varys, convinced someone who looked enough like Eddard to stand in his place, assuring the imposter that he would be sent to the Wall, and would receive a large sum of cash in the process. This is admittedly a bit weak, but it is, after all, part of a crackpot theory.

Later, Joffrey brings Sansa up to see the heads on spikes. Sansa thinks that the one that Joffrey says is Eddard doesn't look like him. We are given the explanation that it's covered with tar, etc, still, is this plausible?

Lastly, when Eddard's bones are returned to her, Cat thinks to herself those aren't the bones of Eddard. Maybe nothing, maybe a giant not so red herring, much like the clues we got before the Red Wedding.

Yes, in order for this to be true there are lots of questions that need answering. Why would Varys want to save Eddard? Does GRRM need Eddard later in the series because he is the only one that knows the truth about Jon's lineage, and that will become important? Where has Eddard been if he's alive? What would Varys gain from doing this?

So, what do you guys think? Does this have any legs at all, or should it die a quick and painless death?

The only problem I see with your theory is it's no way in hell Ned Stark would hide while his wife and children are murdered just to help Jon? He would let his wife and son fight and die because they thought he was murdered?

That don't sound like Ned Stark to me... If Ned allowed the north to bleed and die to revenge him while he still lives, someone really would need to cut his head off... He would be the biggest asshole alive...
 
Ned has obviously been kept to provide spare parts - e.g. a head - for unGregor.
 
It's pretty clear after reading ADWD that Ned warged into a stray cat before being executed, and will be reunited with Arya in book seven. ;)
 
The only problem I see with your theory is it's no way in hell Ned Stark would hide while his wife and children are murdered just to help Jon? He would let his wife and son fight and die because they thought he was murdered?

That don't sound like Ned Stark to me... If Ned allowed the north to bleed and die to revenge him while he still lives, someone really would need to cut his head off... He would be the biggest asshole alive...

If my theory is correct, which I'll say again that I think it's VERY doubtful, Ned would have been removed from KL and would have had no idea as to the fate of Cat and Robb at the Twins, at least not before TRW happened.
 
It's pretty clear after reading ADWD that Ned warged into a stray cat before being executed, and will be reunited with Arya in book seven. ;)

It's not impossible, although I know you said that in jest :)

And we haven't seen the last of the cat IMO
 
If my theory is correct, which I'll say again that I think it's VERY doubtful, Ned would have been removed from KL and would have had no idea as to the fate of Cat and Robb at the Twins, at least not before TRW happened.

But Ned is smart enough to know what would have happened when the north and his family thought him murdered cold bloodily... Don't forget, the death of his brother and father kick started Robert's wars against the Targeryens...

He would have known the North would not bend the knee knowing their Lord were murdered.

If you think about it, Vary wanted the kingdom in chaos for the return of the Targ child. Did Vary play a part in Ned's death by pretending to tell Joff what he should do? He would have know Joff would have done the opposite...

The only person who could have pulled off a fake Ned death is Vary... And it would be against his agenda to save him...

Vary was behind Lord Tywin's death as well... He lead Tyrion to the chamber knowing full well what would happen...
 
But Ned is smart enough to know what would have happened when the north and his family thought him murdered cold bloodily... Don't forget, the death of his brother and father kick started Robert's wars against the Targeryens...

He would have known the North would not bend the knee knowing their Lord were murdered.

If you think about it, Vary wanted the kingdom in chaos for the return of the Targ child. Did Vary play a part in Ned's death by pretending to tell Joff what he should do? He would have know Joff would have done the opposite...

The only person who could have pulled off a fake Ned death is Vary... And it would be against his agenda to save him...

Vary was behind Lord Tywin's death as well... He lead Tyrion to the chamber knowing full well what would happen...

As i mentioned in another post, the events in aDWD would suggest that Varys wanted the realm in chaos. i think though that the argument could be made that a strong North would add to the chaos, and Varys might have reason to want Ned alive.
 
As i mentioned in another post, the events in aDWD would suggest that Varys wanted the realm in chaos. i think though that the argument could be made that a strong North would add to the chaos, and Varys might have reason to want Ned alive.

Not really, Imp... A live Ned would have stopped a lot of the chaos that happened. Unlike Stannis, Ned would compromise for the better of the kingdom. Don't forget, most said and even Robert himself, that Ned would have been a better king.

Without Ned's sensible thinking doing Robert's uprising, the kingdom would have been in the shape it is now. Ned would have been preparing the north for winter, not war... Winter is coming...

And Renly and the Tyrells was willing to follow Ned. Game over... With Winterfell and Highgarden united, it would have not been a rebellion... Casterly Rock would have not challenged that. Lord Tywin would have stayed home and peace restored...

But Vary didn't want peace...
 
Not really, Imp... A live Ned would have stopped a lot of the chaos that happened. Unlike Stannis, Ned would compromise for the better of the kingdom. Don't forget, most said and even Robert himself, that Ned would have been a better king.

Without Ned's sensible thinking doing Robert's uprising, the kingdom would have been in the shape it is now. Ned would have been preparing the north for winter, not war... Winter is coming...

And Renly and the Tyrells was willing to follow Ned. Game over... With Winterfell and Highgarden united, it would have not been a rebellion... Casterly Rock would have not challenged that. Lord Tywin would have stayed home and peace restored...

But Vary didn't want peace...

You're making a good argument for a living Ned that wasn't brabded a traitor and given a choice of The Wall or death. If varys (his name has an S at the end of it btw :) ) thought there was something to be gained by having a live Ned Stark stashed away somewhere, he MIGHT have tried tried to have Ned switched and hidden, rather than going to the Wall. I don't think Varys inticipated the impulsivity and stupidity of Joffrey though, and if a switch was made the "volunteer" ended up dead.
 

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