Quick Fire Questions (A Place to Ask and Answer)

[Jo Zebedee]

I've never really had the comma splice habit, until I read some feedback from an editor/agent which suggests where we have semi colons most could go and be replaced by commas/ full stops. Now, I know I do overuse semicolons and I am looking at them all critically, it's now turning into a comma splice habit instead. Which I used to use only for effect before. So, eg

They made their way through the quiet city to the barracks, the air tangy and stale; artificial.

Or should it be

to the barracks; the air tangy and stale, artificial.

Or, neither.

this one;


Lichio walked beside Kare. Despite their difference in ranks an easy friendship had developed

In this one I originally had Lichio walked beside Kare; despite.... , which I preferred, but I think was wrong and it should be a full stop.

Am I wrong? Are semi colons madly wrong here, I like their softness and sense of carrying a sentence along naturally and find comma splices too harsh.

 

[The Judge]

They made their way through the quiet city to the barracks, the air tangy and stale; artificial.

I'd have said this semi-colon is wrong. Either a comma or a full stop if you want something heavier. (My initial preference was for the full stop, but this is one of those sentences I'd play around with for an hour or two before making a decision...)

to the barracks; the air tangy and stale, artificial.

I don't think I'd have picked this up as wrong in the middle of a paragraph, but I don't like it as much as the all-one sentence above.

this one;

Definitely wrong -- a colon needed.

Lichio walked beside Kare. Despite their difference in ranks an easy friendship had developed

I prefer this to your original semi-colon version. There are two complete and separate thoughts here, so to me they're best expressed as two sentences.

Comma splices are the work of the devil. Illiterate them quite from your vocabulary.**


** With apologies to Mrs Malaprop.

 

[Hex]

In my effort to illiterate the semi-colon and the colon I have been learning to love (*) 'and'.

(*) well, tolerate.

 

[Vertigo]

Thanks for your reponses. I guess I'm beginning to learn that grammar is sometimes a much looser beast than I had thought. I had always thought it was much more inflexible. Probably the fault of my earliest English Language teachers beating us about the head with huge books of rules.

See what I did there in those first two sentences If I take 'that' out of the first one it kind of stumbles for me but in the second leaving it out feels better.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

Thanks for your reponses. I guess I'm beginning to learn that grammar is sometimes a much looser beast than I had thought. I had always thought it was much more inflexible. Probably the fault of my earliest English Language teachers beating us about the head with huge books of rules.

Well, concussion does inhibit the learning process.

 

[David Evil Overlord]

Well, concussion does inhibit the learning process.

My maths teacher didn't think so. He was wrong.

Of course, he had one of the finest minds of the fourteenth century...

 

[Warren_Paul]

A minor linear skull fracture is liable to be of no clinical significance, requiring no treatment. It may not even cause concussion. A headache is likely from any head trauma, although it may be minor.

A more significant blow may cause concussion, although you may not lose consciousness.

Really serious blows may cause an epidural hematoma, which can be fatal.

If the blow damages the venous sinus it may result in CVST stroke, while a blow across one of the joints between the skull's eight cranial bones may result in suture diastasis (separation of the joint).

The bleeding from the ears and nose is a symptom of a Basilar skull fracture which is a linear fracture to the base of the skull. These are very rare and dangerous as the base of the skull requires much more force to fracture than other parts of the skull.

Symptoms of a basilar skull fracture include bleeding from the ears and nose, "racoon eyes" (caused by pooling of blood in the optical cavity), blood in the sinuses, and leaking of cerebrospinal fluid from the ears or nose (it may drip into the back of the throat resulting in a salty taste).

Been thinking more on this today. If say the fracture was severe, with an open wound and depressed to the point where it has caused internal brain damage, how long would it take for the damage to turn fatal and cause the person's death? (no treatment)

Could the person suffer through the serious symptoms for three to four days? Or is it that with the exception of epidural hematoma and if it's not a basilar skull fracture, that it's not actually fatal at all? And in that case, could the person keep going through the symptoms permanently, or however long?

 

[Venusian Broon]

Been thinking more on this today. If say the fracture was severe, with an open wound and depressed to the point where it has caused internal brain damage, how long would it take for the damage to turn fatal and cause the person's death? (no treatment)

Could the person suffer through the serious symptoms for three to four days?

I am no medical expert, but I would guess that it does really depend where the fracture was made and what sort of internal injuries were sustain. You see all those amazing x-ray pictures of people with knives/poles/nails/swords right through their heads but surviving, so I guess suffering for three or four days would be possible...

...but on the other hand, a mate of mine was standing in a bus stop on Oxford Street London, and witnessed a woman get hit on the head by the side mirror of a London bus that had clearly caused a skull fracture. (Seems quite innocuous but I guess the bus was doing a reasonable speed down the road) She had been looking for something/someone on the other side of the road, peering over the kerb, and hadn't seen the bus come along behind her.

In all likelyhood she instantly got spinal injuries and at that point it was too late, but I think they may have tried to get her into recovery position, but by doing this this caused the fracture to rupture.

 

[luci2also]

They made their way through the quiet city to the barracks, the air tangy and stale; artificial.

I'm unsure what you are going for here but my slippery mind keeps wanting to see it this way.

They made their way through the quiet city to the barracks, the air tangy, stale, and artificial.

If it were dialogue I could see the above usage as development of a character's affectation.

That's just me. You have to decide how it should flow where it goes in the story.

 

[Warren_Paul]

In all likelyhood she instantly got spinal injuries and at that point it was too late, but I think they may have tried to get her into recovery position, but by doing this this caused the fracture to rupture.

right, well my character - a 14 year old girl - got hit with the pommel of a sword, fracturing her skull. There wouldn't likely be any damage done to her spine in the action - if there was, she would either be paralysed or instantly dead (if neck broke).

I've decided to go with a more serious route to originally planned. Serious enough to cause CVST stroke as Gumboot mentioned, as well as concussion. I also want some serious bleeding going on. But in four days time she will be healed of it. So I just want to make sure she can actually live that long.

 

[Venusian Broon]

right, well my character - a 14 year old girl - got hit with the pommel of a sword, fracturing her skull. There wouldn't likely be any damage done to her spine in the action - if there was, she would either be paralysed or instantly dead (if neck broke).

I've decided to go with a more serious route to originally planned. Serious enough to cause CVST stroke as Gumboot mentioned, as well as concussion. I also want some serious bleeding going on. But in four days time she will be healed of it. So I just want to make sure she can actually live that long.

I think I would accept that she could survive, especially from the description of the blow that she got from above, although if on day five she was back to 100% fitness and dancing about like a ballerina that would ring false, unless of course she's been magicked back into health.

 

[Warren_Paul]

I think I would accept that she could survive, especially from the description of the blow that she got from above, although if on day five she was back to 100% fitness and dancing about like a ballerina that would ring false, unless of course she's been magicked back into health.

It's definitely magic. A natural recovery would take several weeks, I don't have that much time to give her.

 

[luci2also]

but in the first sentence the "that" could be replaced with "which" eg "... repetition which the eyes pass over..." You can't do that in the second sentence -- "you hear which something is"

Word of warning. If you change that to-- repetition which the eyes pass over --and you send this to a copy-editor it will be switched back.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

I'm unsure what you are going for here but my slippery mind keeps wanting to see it this way.

They made their way through the quiet city to the barracks, the air tangy, stale, and artificial.

If it were dialogue I could see the above usage as development of a character's affectation.

That's just me. You have to decide how it should flow where it goes in the story.

It is close 3rd, so I suppose that's a question, should it then have the character's venacular when it's in that pov, just as it would in first.

 

[Gumboot]

Been thinking more on this today. If say the fracture was severe, with an open wound and depressed to the point where it has caused internal brain damage, how long would it take for the damage to turn fatal and cause the person's death? (no treatment)

Could the person suffer through the serious symptoms for three to four days? Or is it that with the exception of epidural hematoma and if it's not a basilar skull fracture, that it's not actually fatal at all? And in that case, could the person keep going through the symptoms permanently, or however long?

right, well my character - a 14 year old girl - got hit with the pommel of a sword, fracturing her skull. There wouldn't likely be any damage done to her spine in the action - if there was, she would either be paralysed or instantly dead (if neck broke).

I've decided to go with a more serious route to originally planned. Serious enough to cause CVST stroke as Gumboot mentioned, as well as concussion. I also want some serious bleeding going on. But in four days time she will be healed of it. So I just want to make sure she can actually live that long.

Hey, I don't think a sword pommel would cause a linear skull fracture, as the force is focused in a very small area; it would be far more likely to cause a depressed skull fracture where the broken bone is forced into brain cavity.

These can be quite serious. Such a fracture that breaks the skin is called compound, and if it breaks the membrane around the brain it's called complex, which is perhaps the most dangerous of all. There's high risk of brain tissue damage, pressure to the brain, and contamination of the wound.

Ultimately, the level of seriousness comes down to the exact mechanics of the blow. Head wounds bleed quite extravagantly, so even a very minor blow can cause quite a dramatic-looking wound if it breaks the skin. Anything that puts significant pressure on the brain can be very serious and may be fatal without surgery, while anything that actually causes bleeding from the brain is even more serious, and more dangerous.

The interior of the brain cavity has sharp ridges, and a hard blow to the head can cause the brain to move inside the cavity, catching on these ridges and causing tissue damage which may also result in internal bleeding and increasing pressure on the brain.

Having said all of that, there's no hard and fast rule for human injuries. What kills one person may leave no lasting damage on another.

I would say that assuming the wound was not severe enough to cause death or coma within a few hours, there would be a good chance of surviving as long as the wound was kept clean - infection would be your gravest risk without treatment.

This skull fracture mindmap might help:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b9/Skullfracturemindmap.gif

 

[Gumboot]

right, well my character - a 14 year old girl - got hit with the pommel of a sword, fracturing her skull. There wouldn't likely be any damage done to her spine in the action - if there was, she would either be paralysed or instantly dead (if neck broke).

I've decided to go with a more serious route to originally planned. Serious enough to cause CVST stroke as Gumboot mentioned, as well as concussion. I also want some serious bleeding going on. But in four days time she will be healed of it. So I just want to make sure she can actually live that long.

I would be cautious of going the CVST route if I were you, as in children this has a 50% mortality rate, and that's with modern medicine.

 

[Warren_Paul]

I would be cautious of going the CVST route if I were you, as in children this has a 50% mortality rate, and that's with modern medicine.

ok, thanks Gumboot. I'll keep that in mind.

Yes, I already changed it from a linear to a depressed. Left untreated, I'd expect her to die from the injury, but as I already mentioned, she does eventually get healed magically. There are several characters keeping the wound clean of infection in the meantime.

 

[luci2also]

ok, thanks Gumboot. I'll keep that in mind.

Yes, I already changed it from a linear to a depressed. Left untreated, I'd expect her to die from the injury, but as I already mentioned, she does eventually get healed magically. There are several characters keeping the wound clean of infection in the meantime.

If you're going to magic it perhaps the more difficult the better if you are looking to create dramatic effect.

Perhaps highlighting the powers and limits of magic also.
Can the magic cure what the healer can't see or does the healer see it all.

A counterpoint to the magic. If they don't heal everything the first time they may have to try again.

Magic does not have to be all powerful and exact unless that's the rule you make. Making the wound a difficult heal might help define what your rules are.

 

[Esfires]

If you're going to magic it perhaps the more difficult the better if you are looking to create dramatic effect.

Perhaps highlighting the powers and limits of magic also.
Can the magic cure what the healer can't see or does the healer see it all.

A counterpoint to the magic. If they don't heal everything the first time they may have to try again.

Magic does not have to be all powerful and exact unless that's the rule you make. Making the wound a difficult heal might help define what your rules are.

Plus, its always to your advantage to make things hard for your characters. The more your character has to struggle to do a thing, the more interesting it is to read about. And as luci2also pointed out, a difficult task can be a wonderful opportunity to explain some of the specifics of your world without resorting to info dumping.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

quicky, I hope. I need a tracker to implant in a person and stay indefinitely. the preferred method of implantation would be ingestation. How would it stay? Could it attach to the stomach wall or something? If so is it better the connection is biological or mechanical? Oh, and if possible, it needs to be removed easily once detected by a scanner.