Discussion -- September 2011 Challenge

[Ursa major]

Re: Discussion September 2011 Writing Challenge

Are you suggesting that I have them on tap?

 

[The Judge]

Re: Discussion September 2011 Writing Challenge

A barrrel-load of them, certainly.

 

[Highlander]

Re: Discussion September 2011 Writing Challenge

Crikey, it's quiet around here...

Whistling sound of wind with some more tumbleweed rolling past...

Highlander – I’m not sure whether this is a great story or not, but I loved it. The whole Star Wars feel was given a fresh perspective and how true it was too. No matter how powerful the commanders and elite might be, they’re in the same do-do as the rest of the inhabitants of an artificial environment when the toilets stop working. Made me smile, always a good thing in a story like this. I hope the narrator managed to get off the station before it went bang.

Thanks for the crit - I'm not sure it is a story as such either but anyway, it made you smile! I did think of ending it with a cryptic "What's that? - sounded like an explosion... " and let the reader decide if he gets away.

 

[Aun Doorback]

Re: Discussion September 2011 Writing Challenge

Perp - Thanks man, and if I disappear from this site over the next few days, its because I've revealed too much - Oh what a tangled web we weave!

 

[GreenKidx]

Re: Discussion September 2011 Writing Challenge

Up to three choices. I'm liking my latest story a bit more.

 

[Bob Senior]

Re: Discussion September 2011 Writing Challenge

Hey Perp Man,
You have been busy, I was waiting for you to get to my story and see what you had to say. (this site would not be the same without you, so don't go anywhere!, no holidays nothing.) Just Kidding.
I think that I got the "behind the scenes" part right, and if I manage to confuse you or make you think a little bit harder, I have done my job.

 

[Bob Senior]

Re: Discussion September 2011 Writing Challenge

Perp Man,
I forgot about the "chip", keep your eyes on your TV, they will be available from TV BRANDS, Hollywood California, for only $19.95 plus processing and handling. If not satisfied return for a complete refund, minus processing and handling and restocking fee.

P&H=$10,995 US

 

[Parson]

Re: Discussion September 2011 Writing Challenge

Ursa,

I had no idea you were a Country Music fan. http://www.lyrics007.com/Brad Paisley Lyrics/Alcohol Lyrics.html


If this song weren't the basis for your post it should have been.

 

[Ursa major]

Re: Discussion September 2011 Writing Challenge

Sorry, Parson, I'm not a Country music fan. (Not even in spirit.)

 

[Rooky]

Re: Discussion September 2011 Writing Challenge

Rooky - This is quite an interesting one by MrsCTG and an excellent first entry, she seems to have squeezed an awful lot into the story without making it confused, so on a construction level an excellent entry; then to make it better the story isn’t half bad either, just loved the idea to see someone who apparently knows that they have been played with and has escaped only for the savage twist that it is all still ongoing and the character does not know half what they think... Exquisite first entry!

Wow Perp, you have been busy! I thank you very much for you kind words. I was explaining to hubby that I was always taught that a story has to have a beginning, middle and an end, and I think that it was instilled in me in such a way that I have never forgotten it and so, I just went with that automatically.

I am very impressed with the standard of writing and the variety, the theme does allow for a great deal of scope and it is good to see that scope being used to its full potential! I look forward to more entries!

 

[Perpetual Man]

Re: September 2011 SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE

Chris – As always a very clever and intelligent entry from Chris, something that has some superb rhyming and a cohesive story. Not only that but it encapsulates the theme perfectly. I’m probably going off in the totally wrong direction but it felt as though imaginations and stories are being formed and directed by these creatures – but to them we are little more than stories; or perhaps they have convinced us they are little more than tales.

telford – This one almost through me to start with, bit slow on the uptake... It’s the aliens again, or at least some form of alien, whether it is us or them I could not quite put my finger on it. All the same the pay off was great, nice to see just what is going on in the background. Well worth it for the moment the penny drops.

Moonbat – Just what goes on behind the silent screens of our computers? As with many 75 worders there was a nebulous nature to this one, which is one of the reasons that makes them so good, it allows the imagination of the reader fill in some of the details, or develop the ideas presented. Here I was not sure whether it was an artificial consciousness or a downloaded personality, it did not matter, it seemed as though it had grown too much for the computer to handle... but it still saved it!

Starbeast – Aliens are at it again. This time seriously tongue in cheek, wrapped up in conspiracy and obviously better at the cloak and dagger stuff than their human counterparts. Loved the thought of the agents making sure they kept things clean, killing those that threaten the status quo, only to find that the aliens don’t like it. This is the kind of fun story that can be read again and again. It does the job, is not hard on the brain and is entertaining

mike1366 – Another great first timer entry. I thought this was something a little different, but obvious perhaps in the way that great ideas often are after they are pointed out to you! In this instance someone, a gladiator perhaps, preparing to go out in the arena and fight to the death; but the bit the audience does not see: The preparation.

Flugel Meister – Ahh, the Friday night syndrome, the aftermath of a night on the town, drinking partying, drunken brawls, taking something one should not have, broken bones, scrapes and off to casualty. A bleak but spot on interpretation of the down side of a night on the town, seen through the eyes of those that clean up after the partiers. I could almost see him/her, brushing away the grime, eyes watching the wretched masses. Great idea.

Ursa – Oh, good lord, where to even begin? From the title on down a tribute and condemnation of a recreational past time loved and adored by many, hated and vilified by others. As always with Ursa’s stuff incredibly clever, filled with all kinds of cleverness, and rather well presented with a neutral point of view from the bottom of the bottle itself.

Phew caught up!

 

[Parson]

Re: Discussion September 2011 Writing Challenge

Sorry, Parson, I'm not a Country music fan. (Not even in spirit.)

Well, I wouldn't listen to Country music for a spiritual high.

 

[Ursa major]

Re: Discussion September 2011 Writing Challenge

Thanks for review, PM.


My original intention, believe it or not, was to be rather subtle. But when a couple of puns sneaked in when I wasn't paying proper attention, I couldn't resist leaving them in. Or resist adding more....

 

[Starbeast]

Re: Discussion September 2011 Writing Challenge

I also thank you Perpetual Man for your review.

Originally, I was going to use a "Star Wars" idea, but Highlander used that movie first and I didn't want to do the same as him. I wasn't upset because I had two other ideas as backup and decided to go with choice two, "aliens".

It took me a while to come up with any idea, and I knew I had to think fast because other SFFC members were placing their entries in early this month. By the time the second page of the 75 Word Challenge was filling up, three ideas popped into my head. It was kind of funny when I was happily ready to add my first tale choice, then I saw Highlander's story and said: "Hey!" I chuckled, then typed up choice two.

 

[nixie]

Re: Discussion September 2011 Writing Challenge

I think Pep should be named official morale booster. He even makes my mediocre efforts sound good.

 

[Perpetual Man]

Re: Discussion September 2011 Writing Challenge

Thanks for the crit - I'm not sure it is a story as such either but anyway, it made you smile! I did think of ending it with a cryptic "What's that? - sounded like an explosion... " and let the reader decide if he gets away.

I liked it just the way it was, it told a tale, it was a story with a greta ending.

Perp - Thanks man, and if I disappear from this site over the next few days, its because I've revealed too much - Oh what a tangled web we weave!

I've had to remove to arachnids from my house in the last week. Are they on to me, do you think?

Up to three choices. I'm liking my latest story a bit more.

I've always enjoyed your stories!

Hey Perp Man,
You have been busy, I was waiting for you to get to my story and see what you had to say. (this site would not be the same without you, so don't go anywhere!, no holidays nothing.) Just Kidding.

Thanks Bob. The sentiment is really appreciated. I'll try not to holiday again...

I do actually really enjoy doing the little reviews and the thought of stopping them seems... wrong. That being said with events moving as they are I might find myself strained to keep it up in the early part of next year.

So I guess is the first notice that I might stop. I certainly hope I don't have to.

Perp Man,
I forgot about the "chip", keep your eyes on your TV, they will be available from TV BRANDS, Hollywood California, for only $19.95 plus processing and handling. If not satisfied return for a complete refund, minus processing and handling and restocking fee.

P&H=$10,995 US

That is funnier and more true than you know... (although not the chip bit. I hope)

Wow Perp, you have been busy! I thank you very much for you kind words. I was explaining to hubby that I was always taught that a story has to have a beginning, middle and an end, and I think that it was instilled in me in such a way that I have never forgotten it and so, I just went with that automatically.

I am very impressed with the standard of writing and the variety, the theme does allow for a great deal of scope and it is good to see that scope being used to its full potential! I look forward to more entries!

Everyone seems to really do a good job here (It makes doing these positive comments so much easier). The scary thing is the quality just keep getting better and the newcomers just hit the ground running at the same level as the old timers.

My original intention, believe it or not, was to be rather subtle. But when a couple of puns sneaked in when I wasn't paying proper attention, I couldn't resist leaving them in. Or resist adding more....

To be honest I did not notice to start with, then I got the title and everything just started rolling. You really can't stop yourself can you? And I don't think we would want you to stop...

I think Pep should be named official morale booster. He even makes my mediocre efforts sound good.

Well you've just boosted my morale (and if anyone else had said that about their own work - especially when it's good and your is - they would have received a patented nixie slap )

 

[paranoid marvin]

Re: Discussion September 2011 Writing Challenge

Thanks PM for the kind words.

I did wonder if I had been a little too subtle/obscure. reading it back I think I probably was. Never mind, all's will that ends will.

 

[paranoid marvin]

Re: Discussion September 2011 Writing Challenge

Sorry, Parson, I'm not a Country music fan. (Not even in spirit.)

A bear who doesn't like country.. wood you believe it?

 

[Ursa major]

Re: Discussion September 2011 Writing Challenge

ITo be honest I did not notice to start with, then I got the title and everything just started rolling. You really can't stop yourself can you?

Er, no.

 

[Droflet]

Re: Discussion September 2011 Writing Challenge

Thanks for the mention, Perp. I was going for a tongue in cheek feel but I guess I missed the mark. Sigh. Back to the PC.