What was the WORST movie you've ever seen?

[JunkMonkey]

...the trailers don't seem to make it look much like an ST movie (even though it's got space ships in it,

OH, MY GOD! They're not actually going to do something DIFFERENT in a Star Trek film are they?

Cough! splutter!!

 

[Gramm838]

OH, MY GOD! They're not actually going to do something DIFFERENT in a Star Trek film are they?

Cough! splutter!!

Exactly - that's the problem - it looks like it going to be the same as every other recent over the top action film, so to answer your question, no they're not doing anything different in an ST movie...

Check mate!

 

[Ogma]

The worst film that I can remember is Immortal (2004). I felt that it was pretentious, boring and there were some elements around the god's pursuit of his mate which made me feel very queasy. Normally, I give away DVD's that I do not like, but I found this film so bad that I dumped the DVD in the bin rather than inflicting it on any of my friends.

 

[PTeppic]

Ninjas vs Vampires

It was like a film student's second year submission. The script was one-liners grabbed from other movies, the acting abysmal, camera work sloppy and effects uneven. Some of the fight choreography wasn't bad though.

 

[Dream Walker]

I have sat through some truly abysmal offerings. And the films mentioned never even hit the top twenty. The worst of the worst? Dead Zone, Deep Impact. That horror to the senses that Patrick Stewart was in where he is an evil scientist and goes chasing the escaping kids through the sewer in go carts, but for no reason stops. Puts on some kind of football Jersey and gives the team cheer before proceeding to chase the kids...(perhaps it was in the evil scientist rulebook?). ; that piece of schlok with Garry Shandling as an alien with a detachable Willie. And let us not forget Earth girls are easy, one of several efforts by Hollywood to produce sci-fi light.

But I must admit the Shandling effort did produce one killer line - Shandling's Willie is getting a call from the mother ship. Girl hears, says 'what's that?' Gary replied, ' It's my----, it hums,' Girl rejoinders, ' why? Doesn't it know the words?'. Ba-dum-bump.

 

[JunkMonkey]

Check mate!

I concede. (Though I now have two reason not to go see it.)

Last night I scraped through the bottom of the barrel to find the slime underneath and managed to watch what is probably worst, least pleasant film I have seen for a long time:

Frauen für Zellenblock 9 (aka The Women in Cell Block 9 & Tropical Inferno 1978 ) - tatty, underachieving, nasty piece of sh*t Women in Prison film. Even by prolific crap director Jess Franco's standards was a piece of sleazy unpleasant crap. Four women get captured by sadistic jungle jailers tortured in non-specific ways:

"Do you know most of the men I have done this too are now homosexuals?"

In the end they escape by staging the dullest, least erotic lesbian orgy ever filmed then clobbering the guard. They run away, naked, through the South American jungle. On their way they are menaced by a few very static shots of African crocodiles (shot in a zoo by the look of it) before being shot down by their pursuers. The end.

To add to the sleazy nastiness it turns out that one of the actresses running around naked for most of the film was only 16 at the time. The film was refused a DVD release in this country and I may have broken the law by watching it. Maybe I should look films up before I watch them. Deeply unpleasant piece of crap.

 

[Gramm838]

I concede. (Though I now have two reason not to go see it.)

Very gracious of you to concede, thank you.

Actually my entry for the real worst film ever has to be Bridget Jones' Diary; my friend and I made the mistake of offering our wives the chance to see something other than an action movie, not realising that it was the first night of the general release of BJD; and the cinema was full of 40-y.o. Bridget wannabees who found the whole thing hilarious..

I spent the whole time finding excuses to go the gent's toilets as often as I could

 

[Parson]

Though I am with you that this Star Trek is not your father's (or grandfather's depending on your age) ]

My star trek I'm afraid, I'm old enough to remember watching the pilot with the original Captain Pike of the Enterprise in his hi-tech invalid carriage...

Sigh! those were the days weren't they. Still I'm excited to see what might be made.

 

[steve12553]

Though I am with you that this Star Trek is not your father's (or grandfather's depending on your age) ]

My star trek I'm afraid, I'm old enough to remember watching the pilot with the original Captain Pike of the Enterprise in his hi-tech invalid carriage...

Watch it again. The original pilot Captain Pike was not an invalid. When the recut that episode into the Menagerie A different actor played Captain Pike in the present with the scarred face and the hi-tech invalid carriage. Jeffery Hunter played him in the flash back sections from The Cage.

 

[Gramm838]

I wonder if I should get my retaliation in first...I'm going to see the new Star Trek movie on Friday but the trailers don't seem to make it look much like an ST movie (even though it's got space ships in it, I just worry that its just going to be an action movie with Star Trek connotation, but not actually be a Star trek movie).

I have to say I didn't think much of the first 'new' ST movie, it just seemed to focus on 'let's beat the crap out of Kirk' rather than anything else.

We'll see on Friday!

Well, I posted the above earlier this week, and I'm simply going to point out that I was wrong about ST:ItD...there's still too much of Kirk getting beaten up but other than that, it was pretty good.

I thought the best bit near the end was when Ki.....

 

[paranoid marvin]

Tbh if a film is REALLY bad I won't watch it through to the end. Been quite a few examples where it's quite clear after the first half hour (sometimes first 10 mins!) that a film is not going to get any better.

 

[Mr Fraaz]

I don't know if it is the worst movie I ever saw, but my worst subjective movie experience ever was probably Highlander or possibly Highlander II. When visiting the video store in our teens, me and some friends suddenly found a movie that noone had heard about but which looked really cool, and I guess we got totally worked up over it on the way home. But then we never even saw it through. It wasn't even "so bad it's funny", it was just really, really bad. To this day I can't stand Christopher Lambert.

 

[zlogdan]

I have not good memories of Lambert too, but it was because my mother made us watch greystoke several times, whenever someone was visitting us in the 80s.

My most detestable film is "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", which has a positive side for me: it is a natural sleeping pill: my wife starts watching it and I follow her because of love, it won't take 2 minutes and I am sleeping like a baby.

 

[JunkMonkey]

Event Horizon. I'm surprised I watched it to the end.

To add to my comments about hating this film I just have to say I love the Soundtrack album of 'music from and inspired by Event Horizon'. One of my most of played soundtrack albums - next to those by Morricone.

 

[col]

Superman IV: Quest For Peace. I really can't think of anything as bad as this.

 

[JunkMonkey]

Superman IV: Quest For Peace. I really can't think of anything as bad as this.

After reading about it in last month's Empire I'm afraid it's right on top of my list.

 

[Winni]

Super Mario Bros the Movie....So very bad.

 

[JunkMonkey]

After reading about it in last month's Empire I'm afraid it's right on top of my list.

Sorry, didn't make it plain. I meant 'list of films I need to see'.

 

[JunkMonkey]

Dear GODS! I win! I win, I win, I win - I win!

I have just sat through Richard Driscoll's Highway to Hell (2012) an amazingly dreadful Horror Comedy Musical ineptly edited down and redubbed from his earlier Eldorado. (So ineptly edited that in at least two of the many fades into, and then out from, black between scenes, the opening or closing frames of removed scenes are clearly visible before the incoming shot arrives on screen.) I really really suspect that this may be the worst film in the world. I have seen many utterly ***** films over the years but if I say that this makes Frankenstein General Hospital (1988) look really good in comparison you may get some idea. Hell, it makes Driscoll's own Legend of Harrow Woods look good in comparison. And that's not a sentence I ever thought I would find myself typing.

I feel like I have just been forced to stick my head in a blender. Dreadful.

 

[Starbeast]

Thanks for the warning JunkMonkey about Highway to Hell (2012).


El Topo (1970), which I heard was a cult classic by Alejandro Jororowsky. I thought it was a sickening waste of time and severly damaging to the brain cells. In my opinion, it was the worst surreal western I've ever seen. Plus it had an equally bad sequel called Holy Mountian (1973), which I am fortunate enough not to see. However, I did finally watch it's disturbing trailer.

What I recently discovered was that Alejandro wanted to direct DUNE in 1975! I'm so glad he didn't.