What was the WORST movie you've ever seen?

[JunkMonkey]

Thanks for the warning JunkMonkey about Highway to Hell (2012).


El Topo (1970), which I heard was a cult classic by Alejandro Jororowsky. I thought it was a sickening waste of time and severly damaging to the brain cells. In my opinion, it was the worst surreal western I've ever seen. Plus it had an equally bad sequel called Holy Mountian (1973), which I am fortunate enough not to see. However, I did finally watch it's disturbing trailer.

What I recently discovered was that Alejandro wanted to direct DUNE in 1975! I'm so glad he didn't.

You're welcome, Starbeast, and you're not the only one who thought El Topo was a steaming pile of (insert least favourite messy substance here).

El Topo (1970) - one of those films that has been on the edge of my must see radar for years. A heavily religious surreal (very bloody) Tortilla Western made at the hight of the hippy era. It opens with a lone horseman holding an umbrella riding through a desert. Only when the horseman stops and dismounts do we realise he has a naked 7 year old boy riding with him. The black leather-clad rider makes the boy bury a teddy bear and a photo of his mother, then they both climb back on the horse and ride off.

After that it gets weird.

And then weirder. At the end, our 'hero', having been shot by his lesbian companions and spending untold years in a catatonic state being worshipped as a god in a cave, digs a tunnel to free his deformed worshippers. When he finally succeeds, with the help of his pregnant dwarf wife and his now grown up ex-monk son (who has sworn to kill him when they've finished), all the newly-released troglodytes are massacred by the townsfolk who are then, in turn, massacred by our hero. Who then commits suicide by setting himself on fire. I'm sure it was all very pertinent at the time and obviously allegorical of the horrors of Vietnam but all these years later it left me pretty unimpressed as a film.

A real Emperor's Trousers of a movie.

 

[Krayhayft]

Anything directed by Tim Burton or anything written by Orci and Kurtzman.

The three biggest hacks in Hollywood.

 

[Starbeast]

Last of the Living (2009)

I like zombie movies, and I'll even give low budget horror film a chance because some are surprisingly good. But, this film was just plain awful. I kept hoping it would get better, but was boring and very badly wriiten. It wasn't even interesting, accidently.

 

[subtletylost]

My mom says the worst movie she's ever seen was Tess (1979) A young strong-willed peasant girl, becomes the affection of two men, in the end tragically falling into the arms of one.

She said the spent the whole movie doing pretty much nothing.

 

[danielgould]

Skyline is the worst film I have ever seen at the cinema. I don't know how it managed to be released.

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

Anything directed by Tim Burton or anything written by Orci and Kurtzman.

The three biggest hacks in Hollywood.

Just to show how tastes differ, I have more or less enjoyed the few Tim Burton films I have seen. I was greatly amused by Pee Wee's Big Adventure, I thought Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was interesting, and I loved Ed Wood.

My mom says the worst movie she's ever seen was Tess (1979) A young strong-willed peasant girl, becomes the affection of two men, in the end tragically falling into the arms of one.

She said the spent the whole movie doing pretty much nothing.

Again, a matter of taste. I think Tess is a beautiful film and a fine adaptation of Hardy's novel Tess of the D'Ubervilles.

 

[Bick]

My mom says the worst movie she's ever seen was Tess (1979) A young strong-willed peasant girl, becomes the affection of two men, in the end tragically falling into the arms of one.

She said the spent the whole movie doing pretty much nothing.

This is the Roman Polanski classic. As it happens, I saw it a couple of months ago. It is very slowly paced, I'll admit. Natashi Kinski's big break - she's quite good in it. Its worthy, but not dreadful; the cinematography is superb.

 

[JunkMonkey]

the cinematography is superb.

With Geoffrey Unsworth behind the camera could it have been anything but?

 

[MPorter]

As Victoria points out bad is a matter of taste. I think Catwoman (2004) and Highlander 2 (1991) are truly bad movies with little in redeeming features.

The Pirate Movie (1982) is probably a better movie than either of those two but for whatever reason it definitely sets my teeth on edge and has pride of place on my list. My idea of Hell is being stuck in a room and forced to watch the Pirate Movie over and over and over again.

~Mike

 

[soulsinging]

The Skulls. Granted, my buddy and I had partaken of some particularly potent herbs that night, but it was a laughably awful attempt at a college flick centered around a secret society. Though in the wake of the Da Vinci Code and a general interest in secret societies, I'm sure many find it fascinating.

Also, She's All That. One of the only movies I ever walked out on in theaters.

 

[Boneman]

I found it! Ignore anything I've said before - this is by far and away the worst movie ever:

STELLA, with Bett Midler - how the hell she ever got talked into doing this is beyond me... Here's a brief 'synopsis' of the film. The wonderful sounding premise of 'class divisions love and sacrifice' are truly awful in this film. Bette Midler in the film is one step above trailer-trash, I should add, because that's very relevant, apparently.

A man sees her (Bette Midler) dance at the bar. He's wealthy, educated, from one of those upper class families that has nothing in common with Stella's. His major concern is what ivy league college to attend, her's is how to pay the rent, how to be 'happy.' They have an affair. They like each other. Stella ends up pregnant. Stella tells the guy the news. His response? "How about an abortion?" She replies, "I just wanted a room full of balloons." He supplies the balloons, and the proposal, but she sees his heart is not in it, and has too much pride to accept. She sends him packing.

Her daughter is eventually torn between the two lifestyles--the love she has for her mom and the advantages and happiness and love held out to her by her wealthy father.(WTF????) Stella, alone and unloved, and not wanting her daughter to become as unhappy as her someday, makes the ultimate sacrifice. She gives up the only love and happiness she has ever known to ensure the happiness of her daughter, and perhaps live vicariously, and with hope, knowing that at least her daughter found something to live for.

The ultimate sacrifice???? Any idea how f***ed up the kid will become, because her mother didn't want her?? Gave her up because the father had more money than her??? But at least her daughter 'found something to live for'...

Honestly, trust me on this, it's worth watching for it's complete awfulness - it will knock any other film into a cocked hat, especially the last scene.

 

[Parson]

I found it! Ignore anything I've said before - this is by far and away the worst movie ever:

STELLA, with Bett Midler - how the hell she ever got talked into doing this is beyond me... Here's a brief 'synopsis' of the film. The wonderful sounding premise of 'class divisions love and sacrifice' are truly awful in this film. Bette Midler in the film is one step above trailer-trash, I should add, because that's very relevant, apparently.



The ultimate sacrifice???? Any idea how f***ed up the kid will become, because her mother didn't want her?? Gave her up because the father had more money than her??? But at least her daughter 'found something to live for'...

Honestly, trust me on this, it's worth watching for it's complete awfulness - it will knock any other film into a cocked hat, especially the last scene.

Boneman, this is not a surprise. For much of this world wealth and opportunity are the only things to live for. The daughter chooses the way of the world, the mother in her sacrifice (something I always find noble) agrees with the assessment. -- A rich life beats a life of being loved.

(Not a Christian viewpoint in this Parson's opinion.)

 

[JunkMonkey]

I found it! Ignore anything I've said before - this is by far and away the worst movie ever:

STELLA, with Bett Midler -

<snip>

Honestly, trust me on this, it's worth watching for it's complete awfulness - it will knock any other film into a cocked hat, especially the last scene.

I remember the original (Stella Dallas 1937 starring the incomparable Barbara Stanwyck) with great fondness; a real three hankie 'women's movie' which did the job and reduced me to a snivelling wreck the first time I saw it. I have avoided the remake for years.

 

[purple_kathryn]

I watched a movie called the The Pact a few months ago which was rather frustrating movie as it never really explained a lot of things

Like why it was called The Pact as there was absolutely nothing relating the anything pact like was mentioned in the film.

I'm now watching the remake of Red Dawn - primarily because Chris Hemsworth is in it, but about 40 minutes in and it's about as bad as I thought it would be.

 

[Starbeast]

The Tooth Fairy (2010)

Action hero Dwayne Johnson, becomes a magical fairy. A few years ago I rented this movie for my mom who wanted to see it, and she wanted me to watch it with her. I like Mr Johnson in a couple of movies, but this one...made me puke my guts out. My gosh it was awful. I have one word that would sum up this film.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHGHHH!"

I can't believe I made it through the entire film!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHGHhhhh!" (cough cough)

 

[sooC]

I've watched a lot of cack, but rarely all the way to the end. For that reason I nominate Streetfighter 1994, it holds the honour of first film I wish I had walked out on.

 

[purple_kathryn]

and Red Dawn didn't get any better. If anything it came across as being an allegory (is that the right word) against the war in Iraq

 

[biodroid]

Twilight, and I treat the whole series as one big movie, the biggest load of cow pat my wife ever dragged me to watch.

 

[Mouse]

Skyline. Even mum's declaration at the end of the film (credits rolling as I type) was 'There. Bloody old crap.' Sums it up, I think.

 

[Mariella]

Re: Worst film seen...

i sat through ultraviolet the othe day, avoid at all costs do not go near it. it will sully your soul and damage your brain, during the quiet bits i could actually hear my brain cells melting. i could just imagine the producers siting around
"we've got milla jovovich"
"check"
we've got tight clothes and big guns"
"check"
"fire the writers"
"check"

please avoid at all costs it may not be the worst ever but its certainly close.

the movie had some decent concepts like disposable cell phones and those soldiers that morph out of the air launched spheres and it was visually well produced for the most part, but AGREED, there was no script. It was like a really long music video, all visual, no substance. And definitely should be avoided at all costs.