AMB: The promise of the future held in the past. When life seems darkest it is easy to point back and say “this is where it all went wrong” but I have this dread that even if your protagonists can get there gadget running it will not provide them with the salvation they seek. For me the story is about unfulfillable promise and the true desolation that will come with the ending of hope in the past, and then the resurrection of promise and hope when your people finally turn to the future. Then I have to chuckle to myself that what I like most about your story, isn’t part of what you wrote.
Lilmizflashythang: I am torn between wanting to cheer her bravery and morn the contagion that will likely have already spread through this braking family. The title suggests that the children will come home to find they are orphans, which is even more sad than having to kill one’s spouse, and I have to wonder if she is planning the demise of someone she professes to love, would she not just end them all rather than force her children, who must be very young indeed if she is putting their shoes on for them, to fend for themselves in an establishedly harsh world.
Karn: Fierce hope in the face of all odds. Without ever having mentioned it I can see the grit on this mans determined face as he trudges silently through impossible dangers. It would be easy to say this is a story about the man a love has for his wife, but the way it plays out for me I read more a love of self, a vengeance on self for failing to do his duty by someone who relied on his strength and expertise, and a self imposed imperative to make it right.
Arkose: Artful way to have the last words of the invading force be implied to show the rapidity of the death of a newly sentient life-force. That Earths resources will be stripped to fight a war by such a crafty species is a consolation trumped only by the just desserts handed out to those who would betray. A retribution that in its execution implies that the executor will fall by the same hand.
Starbeast: Somehow I get the feeling that Smith is a plant, and the promise he holds is not the one he is obviously making. I see it running in two directions, ether he will come to know and love the people he serves on whatever war-ravaged planet he is on and complete the betrayal circle by turning his back on those who left him there. Or he will remain true to his purpose and spend the rest of his days smuggling information back to the home he truly loves. But that could just be me.
I liked the use of a desperate situation to show Smiths true colors. He is a survivalist what ever else he may be, and that he would so glibly offer to change his stripes says more to me about his character than that he was unceremoniously dumped in someone else’s lap. That the Professor accepts him makes me wonder if this captive was not abandoned after all, but a price paid by treacherous hands.
Spring: appocolizing town for an April fool’s joke? I don’t know what’s worse, the joke, or the fact that I laughed when I got it. The dark concept is belied by the playfulness of the prankster in insisting his joke will be the best. And I can feel for his sobering reality check as he did what he could to save his friend. I love the depth of friendship you have created here, the implications that they have been friends for always, that Gazza has been Tom’s voice of reason for longer than he would care to because Tom has a hard time listening to him. I took a less literal meaning to your last line, that voluntary darkness that descends over our visions of ourselves when what we see displeases us beyond our ability to accept or make amends. A little death of the soul, rather than the implied death of the body, seemed more fitting to me.
David: Your First Robot Lawyer makes very sound and convincing arguments, even if they are emotionally driven. I find myself unable to blame her for going against a promise she was likely reluctant to make in the first place.
Southron Sword: More than anything else this story speaks of true love to me. Your narrators admiration of her skin and desire to be as blissfully free of every care as she is while dedicatedly bringing her everything she could need speaks volumes of love.
Perpetual Man: Poetic and concise, I cant help but disagree with the essence of it though. But then, what can Hope hope to say about the absence of herself?
Anya: I adore that you took a personal take on the Post-Apocalyptic genre. It is far more devastating to have one’s own world end than to survive the ending of everyone’s world. The pain of realizing how blind she had been to such hind-sightedly obvious betrayal makes this one of the most poignant stories I have read from you. That the title answers the burning question of whether or not she recovers from the devastation to exact vengeance makes it all the more sad. I hope Dorothy knows what she is getting into…
Truly a masterpiece.
Reiver: OH OOPS! Wow! Talk about heart-breaking… Somehow when it was happening I can see him shrieking in despair “I didn’t mean NOW” but at least his cat was able to pass in peace, right? I love the imagery in the title, the slow trudge and wistful hope not quite held on to that someone might come along to speed one’s way. That he is hoping to speed his way to hell, shows true remorse for getting more than he bargained for.
StilLearning: It took me just a second to realize the last line was answered in the title. I especially liked the image of a burnt earth hanging in the sky just visible to the laboring woman, because it sets the stage and mood so very well in so very few words. The subsequent detail that is added shows the despair these people live in and makes every new life more precious though they all know it will be an impossibly hard life, that is almost not worth living. That they are all pulling for a better future shows how rampant hope is for these people in a hopeless situation.
Abernovo: After reading this I wish I had posted some other time, the lightheartedness of my piece shatters the beautiful delicacy that yours ends with. The choice to live rather than survive is a hard one to make, and that it is done so simply makes it all the more perfect. That it also touches on the fact that at some point in there lives every child must decide to live on their parents dreams or for themselves, makes it a deeper choice than just that of living versus surviving.
Thank you for writing the most beautiful break of a promise I have ever read.
Hope: what an interesting twist on the battle of the sexes… 0.0
Mouse: I die laughing! Though I have to agree with Dave, that is probably the only way to ensure peace. Fun formatting use to convey the emotive qualities of dialog that are missing in the written format, proving font says it all. Tiny right aligned font gives me the distinct view of your narrator hanging his head, hand clasped behind his back, pointed toe nervously grinding the dust, as he confesses the magnitude of the mistake he had just been excusing.
