Grammar checker rant

[Ursa major]

That's awful. One would have thought they'd have at least mentioned military engagements or ballroom dancing; or - combining the two - the military two step performed en masse.

 

[nightdreamer]

Oh, this is a good time for a rant. I thought I'd try my grammar checker again, just to see. "'Right' may be confused with 'write', or 'wright', or 'rite.' Be sure this is the word you intend" or some such nonsense. Get with it! 248,000 words and every third one might be confused with some other word, and when I turn off "Frequently confused words," it still pops them up. Pretty much makes the whole grammar checker useless. It's faster just to read the whole thing again. Thank you . I feel better.

 

[Boneman]

It's been a while, but I just had a good one on my rewrite. I wrote this:

Throwing her arms forward she dived,

And the spell-checker suggested this:

Throwing her arms forward she died,

And she's a strong swimmer!!

 

[Warren_Paul]

Guess I wont be taking up swimming as a hobby.

 

[Boneman]

Not in my book anyway...!

 

[Warren_Paul]

I suspect the spell-checker thinks you're writing a horror story.

 

[Boneman]

Blimey, this is like Buses: none for ages and then two come a long at the same time:

One pleasant-looking man aged about 50

became:

One pleasant-looking managed about 50

All because I missed a comma...

 

[Warren_Paul]

I want to know what the spell-checker thought he was managing... and what's a plesant-looking supposed to be?

 

[David Evil Overlord]

Perhaps it should be peasant-looking - managing to survive despite living in a leaky, draughty hovel, with nothing to wear but rags, with nothing to eat but plague-carrying rats, and dying whenever you fall into water (she must be a witch, the spell-checker said so, that proves it!).

 

[Boneman]

My computer must have been reading '50 shades of porn'...

It suggested I replace this:

'She spat in his face as he passed close to her'

with this:

'She sat in his face as he passed close to her'




ps: Please can we make this a sticky? Takes me ages to find it, each time.

 

[ctg]

LOL

Mrs Ctg suggests, "that you should go with what the grammar checker says then." And I agree, the grammar checker reads all the time, and it might have thought that maybe a little bit of sauce thrown in the mix might make it better.

PS. Where does the sexual reference to the sauce originates from?

 

[The Judge]

Where does the sexual reference to the sauce originates from?

Sauce comes via French from the Latin for salted. According to the online etymology site I use

Meaning "something which adds piquancy to words or actions" is recorded from c.1500; sense of "impertinence" first recorded 1835.

From there it's a short step to something naughty, ie sexual.

The grammar checker had me ranting again the other day, but I wasn't on line at the time and I can't recall what it had done. I dare say it'll do it again soon, though.

 

[ctg]

You english people are strange. Anything sexual can be slotted under a word rude, which in my vocabulary mostly means something bad instead of something good or a pleasure.

 

[Ursa major]

I think it's "bad" as in "bad manners", i.e. the person saying something is rude is saying it's inappropriate (whether in terms of the relevant act or the mention of it).

Unless the person winks (or produces some equivalent gesture or sign)....

 

[ctg]

The culture differences. What can I say as the direct translation to the word rude is ruma, which also means ugly. So hearing it coming from other half mouth might mean mental problems to me as my poor brain does the translation to something more comprehensible. So there is that moment where I feel that I did something rude by for example placing a harmless fruit with a couple of round things. And then she says, "How rude," while she's winking me with eyes.

 

[prizzley]

On the positive side, the program did teach me a lot about using semi-colon's in sentences.

Don't trust it, VB. It often tries to persuade me to use a ; wrongly.

 

[Warren_Paul]

Don't trust it, VB. It often tries to persuade me to use a ; wrongly.

Indeed. I remember back when I was first learning about how to use semi-colons properly in prose and Word suggested I change a comma to a semi-colon. Me not knowing any better at the time did. Then I posted the piece up for critique and got pointed out for incorrect use of a semi-colon... thanks Word grammar checker!

I've since learnt how to use them properly and now laugh at Word whenever it makes a suggestion - which isn't actually that often any more thanks to my improved writing style. I murdered all those comma splices.

 

[Venusian Broon]

Don't trust it, VB. It often tries to persuade me to use a ; wrongly.

Well from never ever using a semi-colon I started pondering, then actually putting them in! So that was a big improvement

But yes, like all computer related things, I take what the computer tells me with a little (and sometime very large) pinch of salt.

 

[Boneman]

The culture differences. What can I say as the direct translation to the word rude is ruma, which also means ugly. So hearing it coming from other half mouth might mean mental problems to me as my poor brain does the translation to something more comprehensible. So there is that moment where I feel that I did something rude by for example placing a harmless fruit with a couple of round things. And then she says, "How rude," while she's winking me with eyes.

You little winker...


Oh, forgot this one:

He lunged and she swayed back from the blade

to

He lunged and she stayed back from the blade

 

[Boneman]

My MC said this: "Neither do I."

The computer suggested: "Neither do me."