Are we really the offended by swearing?

[monsterchic]

I swear. Before moving to my current home, I had rarely ever heard a swear word--the worst thing my mom ever said to me was, "Get your a** moving!" Was that ever a shock.

But when I moved to Prentice, swearing became acceptable within my peer group. Swearing at home wasn't allowed at all, so I had to censor myself as by middle school I could cuss out a sailor

Then as I got older, it became more acceptable, especially since I got my job. Everyone in the kitchen swears, so naturally, most of my work stories come out with swears in them.

In books, I don't mind swearing, as long as it is done properly. If an author uses words simply because they're available, to me that shows lack of imagination. But if he or she uses them tastefully (sorry, couldn't think of a better adjective), I believe it adds to the character of the book and makes it better.

All you people afraid of coming to the US, come to my house You'd feel right at home, probably lol I'd get you, being active on here and all. Knowing that your "language" is different

 

[TheDustyZebra]

Seeing what was said earlier about the casual use of "c**t" in Ireland, I think I'd be afraid to go there now -- and I swear like a sailor! Somebody would call me that, and I'd burst into tears and it would be all over.

My house, growing up, was largely swear-free. My parents did say d**n and h**l, occasionally, but nothing else, until I (the youngest child) was older and would with increasing frequency hear my mom say s**t. I picked it up in high school, and I think I corrupted her. She never went so far as to use the f-word, though. Actually, when I was pretty young, my mother would even write as an answer on some nosy government form from the school, "None of your d**n business."

My kids know better than to cuss, so far, though they do hear plenty of it, but the words I have to work at eliminating from my son's vocabulary, because it's all too prevalent in his age-group, are "gay" and "girl" used as insults.

 

[AnyaKimlin]

Because I don't often swear I find a well timed one has an amazing effect on the people around me. I remember trying to go to sleep and Mum and an adult cousin had opted to sit in my room to talk. A well timed F word cleared them out - think Mum was too shocked to actually say anything about it.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

Seeing what was said earlier about the casual use of "c**t" in Ireland, I think I'd be afraid to go there now -- and I swear like a sailor! Somebody would call me that, and I'd burst into tears and it would be all over.

Ah, they'd buy you a drink if you did and be mortified that they upset you. Nowhere swears like Ireland in my experience - not so much the frequency, but the casualness of it. Swearwords are peppered in the language in a way that takes away a lot of their strength: they are just another word.

We could do an exchange.

(No one has ever called me a c**t, btw. For some obscure reason it's normally used in relation to blokes. ) also, I rarely hear it in my neck of the woods, compared to in the past so its use may be diminishing....)

 

[soulsinging]

I've never ran into this problem. Ever. The worse day of my life was saying something vulgar in the 7th grade. I've tried to avoid it since.

I can't even begin to imagine living a life where uttering a swear word is the most memorable worst day of one's life... you must live one blessed life to have that be your greatest sorrow...

 

[soulsinging]

You know, I'm terrified of ever going to America. I think I might give offence with every sentence I utter....

Don't let it get to you. This reaction to swearing is blowing my mind too, and I LIVE in the Christian American midwest. I don't know anyone that reacts to swearing this way except a few highly devout retired people in very rural areas. Most everyone I know in the US swears at a pretty norma/reasonable clip.

 

[Tower75]

...If someone reading of a murder is more offended by the fact the murderer says f*ck while killing a person than by the killing of a person... well, I'm fine with losing them from my demographic.

Thank you.

Well said, sir.

 

[Stephen Palmer]

Because I don't often swear I find a well timed one has an amazing effect on the people around me. I remember trying to go to sleep and Mum and an adult cousin had opted to sit in my room to talk. A well timed F word cleared them out - think Mum was too shocked to actually say anything about it.

Likewise - and isn't this the point of swearing? The impact of rarely using such words.

 

[hitmouse]

Swearing in SF.

Doctor Who Series 8 Trailer - YouTube

Some of my favourite shows have used copious swearing ingenious insults to good effect: Father Ted, The Young Ones, Blackadder. The profanity would be boring if it was not very funny. Cleverly used, swearing is an excellent comedic device.

 

[Ursa major]

Those who are offended by swearing should, of course, avoid clicking on that link.

 

[AnyaKimlin]

Likewise - and isn't this the point of swearing? The impact of rarely using such words.

I find it so. However I also find my characters swear considerably more than I do. But I find the idea of a tough older copper and a obnoxious teen never swearing as odd.

 

[Fishbowl Helmet]

Ah. Malcolm Tucker. The writers of that show deserve awards. Oh yeah, they got a few. I must say I was a tad disappointed in that Malcolm Tucker's dialogue was the best part of the show. Those best of compilations on YouTube are also the best bits of the show.

 

[Teresa Edgerton]

isn't this the point of swearing? The impact of rarely using such words.

I agree.

Offending people is one of the reasons people use profanity (or obscenities, which are not the same thing).

People have different reasons for swearing:

To show anger.

To show surprise.

To shock or offend someone. Or to prove that they are so tough that they don't care if anyone is offended.

(People who just do it reflexively because everyone else does it don't swear for a reason; they're not thinking about it at all.)

If people do it to vent anger or surprise, I don't mind. Better they should do that if they are angry than punch a fist through the wall or kick the cat.

If they're doing it just to be obnoxious to see if they can shock me, I don't mind the words, but the intent annoys me a bit. It's manipulative; they're trying to make me feel a certain way just to see if they can.

What bothers me the most is when people swear with the intent of offending someone, and then whine because that person was offended, or complain that people in general are too easily offended. It's dishonest.

When people do it all the time, though, it becomes meaningless or at least hard to decipher, which makes it a pretty useless way to use language. When my son (who is a grown man, so there is nothing I can do about his language) says someone is a "f---ing idiot" he could be anything from mildly amused to furiously angry. Admittedly, at the extremes I can usually depend on his tone of voice, but in between it's hard to know what he's trying to say.

But I've noticed that those who swear in practically every sentence no longer find it effective when they want to express genuine anger. So they become rude or abusive. They can't vent, so they try to pass the anger on to someone else.

In writing, it can be an effective way to reveal something about a character or their milieu -- and if it is handled effectively, then fine -- but it can also be a lazy or heavy-handed way to show character. Oh look, this person says "f---" all the time. He must be really tough or cool. That one does offend me a little, because it insults my intelligence as a reader if they think I'm going to be impressed by that.

So, yes, sometimes I am offended. It depends on the circumstances and the intent.




.

 

[Extollager]

Actually my Hebrew professor taught us that "raca" was considerably stronger than our "fool" to the Hebrew mind set. We would probably need a phrase to convey the utter contempt that the word conveyed for the Hebrews of Jesus' time. ....As for personal language, I have to believe that you lose nothing by not being profane. So why venture into it?

About "fool" -- Jesus told the story of a man who trusted (as one does) in wealth; God says to that man: "Fool! This night your soul is required of you" (Luke 12:20). St. Paul calls a hypothetical quibbler a "fool" (1 Corinthians 15:36). And so on.

But Christ's warning, quoted earlier, stands for anyone who would be his disciple. Perhaps anyone at all would do well to ponder when, really, it is appropriate to use abusive language of someone else. For what a personal comment is worth: I can't think of even one time in my life about which I look back now and am unequivocally glad that I used abusive language to someone; while, on the other hand, I have often regretted words I have used. And it's icky when one says something hurtful and then reproaches someone else for being offended; it's unseemly to self-protectively charge the other person with being too sensitive.

I do think our words become part of a "spiritual atmosphere" in which we and others breathe.

Perhaps someone who hears us was struggling with something and our abusive words, our casual verbal ugliness, made his or her struggle that much harder. Hasn't each of us overheard something that took away a little of whatever peace or happiness we'd been feeling?

Perhaps persons who would identify as profanophiles and scatologists would consider taking a month to eschew R-rated language and at the end see if it's something they need, miss, and want to go back to. But that would need to be combined with not thinking oneself better than those who use such language. One would generally not need to "correct" someone else.

Just some thoughts.

 

[Bick]

Good post Teresa. This pretty much describes my feelings about profanity. I'm not offended by it in the most commonly understood sense, but it does "offend" my intelligence the way it is often used. I'm currently reading a SF novel which I'm enjoying, but the use of f*@k fairly often is heavy-handed and unnecessary and weakens the book to my mind. It would be a better book without it. If the writing was otherwise excellent, it wouldn't bother me at all, but it's just not that good.

 

[Montero]

So been reading all the discussion about "fool" and thought I don't think I've ever called someone a fool. Prat, yes.

Then I thought - I'd just better check on "prat" - went to Wikipedia and found that yes, here in the UK it is the equivalent of fool.
It has two other meanings I'd never heard of
Buttocks
Female Genitalia.

Well I never. (Though I get the impression that the other two may be an archaic usage that isn't current.)

Further on the greater variety of swearing in the UK - or at least a perception of it - was just thinking of Kevin Costners Robin Hood and all the English secondary characters who are dropping in English swearwords like b****cks and that doesn't seem to be noticed. (i think it was b...cks)

 

[AE35Unit]

Really? Prat, female genitalia? Not as far as I know. It just means idiot, fool.

 

[hitmouse]

As compared to Pillock, which is a contraction of the archaic word pillycock, the meaning of which is obvious.

 

[Kissmequick]

Really? Prat, female genitalia? Not as far as I know. It just means idiot, fool.

Yup, or rather a contemptible fool (though Usian in origin it seems) see here



now, tw*t on the other hand....(Although the online etymology dictionary says it's of unknown origin, its meaning *cough* quite clear)

 

[Fishbowl Helmet]

Yup, or rather a contemptible fool (though Usian in origin it seems) see here

now, tw*t on the other hand....(Although the online etymology dictionary says it's of unknown origin, its meaning *cough* quite clear)

That one always makes me laugh. Being American I've mostly heard that one as "twot" so it rhymes with hot, caught, and bot. Whenever I hear the British pronunciation of "twat" so it rhymes with cat, sat, and fat, I can't help but laugh. Such a fun word.