DISCUSSION -- January 2015 300-word Writing Challenge (#16)

[Jo Zebedee]

Thank you for the finalist mention, Sb.

 

[Phyrebrat]

I loved the preponderance of Lovecraft-esque entries this month! And what a diverse take on the stim pic.

Thank you Victoria Silverwolf for your review, to willwallace, Springs, Remedy, Mosaix, sancho, farntfar, Starbeast and Storyteller (thanks for your kind words also Storyteller) for the mentions and shortlistings etc. And many thanks to Moonbat and Perp for wasting a third of your votes on me*

On to my favourites:

Willwallace - I loved the allegory of substance abuse in your story, and delivered in such an eerie way.

Juliana - there was something moral about this that I liked; not quite Aesop, but that's who your story made me think of. Perhaps Roald Dahl.

ratsy - You know I love my horror and here was the first Lovecraftian tale that hooked me. It is also reminiscent of one of my favourite Stephen King shorts called N. so I was pre-sold.

farntfar - There was a charming quality to the existential 'rant' of your POV character that really endeared him/her to me.

Karn - This story was bound to figure on my shortlist; I've wasted weeks playing and replay-ing the Dead Space trilogy of games on my PS3

sancho - Pure Twilight Zone! Love it! If that doesn't seem like a perverse thing to say about stories which have the wiping out of masses of the population at there core. However, there was also the taste of love there, too

Glen - Something about the potential of dementia/madness etc makes the subject one of the most chilling for me, and although we're probably going to assume we're witnessing your narrator descend into insanity, there's always the possibility that they're not...

The Storyteller - And speaking of madness... The old folk usually have some kind of wisdom the younguns don't. Poor Grandpa. Another story in the wonderful tradition of the Twilight Zone.

TDZ - Wow. Just...wuh-ow-wuh. I just love the bitterness and sweetnesses in life when mixed together. I really loved not only the anguish and despair in the human condition here, but also the unease that the possibility of the paranormal brings. A really, really lovely sad tale.

Rafellin - The characterisation and dialogue were so well rendered, and the last line was so smart. I wonder if Kate Bush's Experiment IV reverse-engineered this singing artifact

TJ - As usual, another precisely crafted piece from Your Honour. Great folk tale offering a slice of our motivations and just made me wish I had an Old Man Yu in my life. There's something about the story that makes me think of a guided meditation without the New Age rhetoric. I'm utterly convinced Old Man Yu is a sagacious variant of the Queen Mum; she lived forever, right?

Culhwch - My second Oh, Wow moment. Another Lovecraftian masterpiece. I was half-expecting a humorous story because of the smart wit of the POV but instead it delivered a great sense of foreboding and my favourite thing; a bleak ending

Ursa - speaking of wit... People have mentioned this tale with reference to the punchline and humour but for me the story is a sad one of sacrifice and betrayal of a child's trust, or the grief of a mother, depending on what side of the line you are. A great and chilling story, with a sense of classic BBC drama values in the smart dialogue.

Of them, I had six that troubled me for my votes:
Willwallace
ratsy
Karn
TDZ
Culhwch
Ursa

But in the end I settled on TDZ, Cul and Ursa for my votes. There was a depth of miserable and poetic beauty in the writing and concepts that just stayed with me.

I'm not going to make it. First challenge I've missed (family and hospital, plus sekrit santa). Sorry.

Oh, dear, I am sorry; I feel responsible for a third of your troubles! You certainly helped and got me out of a bind, threefold!

pH

* I'll explain what I mean by that when voting ends

 

[Ursa major]

Many thanks for the vote, Phyrebrat.

And thanks for the long-listing, Starbeast.

 

[Rafellin]

Cheers for the honourable mention, Phyrebrat.

 

[ratsy]

Thanks for the finalist listing SB!

Phyre, thank you for putting me in the top running. I actually love N but didn't think of it as I wrote the story. If anyone wants a very creepy short story, read N. Do it!

I'm glad you liked it. I had high hopes for this story but it didn't take with most people this month which is totally fine. There are so many good stories I don't let it get me down.

 

[willwallace]

Thanks for the kind consideration, Phyrebrat.

 

[TheDustyZebra]

Time flies. Thought I'd better get in tonight or I would forget all about it tomorrow. I hadn't even gotten around to reading the stories yet!

First, many thanks to Cascade (sorry for the earworm), springs, farntfar, Perp and SB for the kind mentions/shortlistings/finalists/amazing whatsits, and even bigger thanks to mosaix, Phyrebrat, telford and Juliana for the lovely votes!

Cat's Cradle -- Field Trip...
springs -- Mr Vickers's Alien Stone
Kerrybuchanan -- Mouths of Babes
*Juliana -- The Blessing Bough*
Cascade -- Of a Pict Song
farntfar -- Despatch Note
*Moonbat -- The Whimsical Nature...*
Remedy -- Fencer
Phyrebrat -- The Project Manager's Diary
The Storyteller -- The Alien Gate
Rafellin -- It Sings
*TJ -- Pillar of the Community*
Culhwch -- An Ending
mosaix -- Romancing the Stone
Ursa -- Arrangement in Dark and Shade


And Rafellin, I have to ask (and it's not in any way explaining your story or adding anything): is that a Don Juan DeMarco reference?

 

[farntfar]

Thank you so much for the mention TDZ, and for exercising your radical freedom to say nice things about me, Phyrebrat.

 

[Kerrybuchanan]

Thank you TDZ x

 

[Sancho]

Many thanks SB for the mention and Phyrebrat for the lovely review

 

[Mr Orange]

eek, guess i better vote before this all wraps up... before i do, thanks sancho, farntfar, starbeast for the mentions and listings of my tale.

shortlist:
Ashleyne. B. Watts*
willwallace
juliana
Luiglin
reiver33
holland
Moonbat
Remedy
Phyrebat
jastius*
Bigj*
TheJudge

* votes - gave these to the stories that drew me in completely.

 

[Boneman]

So, didn't enter, but delighted to vote! Wow, some cracking stories; seriously, there isn't a bad one in there - everyone single one would be on my shortlist. But there can be only three, and here are my final 6, any of whom could have won and winners:

Willwallace
Cascade
luiglin
Remedy
The Storyteller
The Judge

 

[Rafellin]

Thanks for the honourable mention, TDZ.

And, as I have no idea who that is without 'net search, I'd have to say no.

 

[Ursa major]

Thanks for the mention, TDZ.

 

[willwallace]

Thanks for the mention, Boneman and Mr Orange.

 

[Ashleyne]

Thanks for finding my story of note, Perpetual Man. A gargantuan thanks to Starbeast and Mr Orange for the votes.
So then, my shortlist:


MR VICKERS’S ALIEN STONE by Springs

An Outstretched hand by johnnyjet
Fencer by Remedy
Blue Eyes and New Eyes by Starbeast


And my votes go to:

Slabs by willwallace
From the Sun comes the Dark by ratsy
An Ending by Culhwch

 

[TheDustyZebra]

Thanks for the honourable mention, TDZ.

And, as I have no idea who that is without 'net search, I'd have to say no.

Aww, darn. It would have been hilarious, if so. I can't even find a clip that would show you what I mean, so you'll just have to watch the movie. It won't kill you. I promise.

 

[Juliana]

Phyre and Mr Orange, thank you for the listing, and Phyre for the lovely comments.

And thank you very much for the votes TDZ and Ratsy!

 

[TheDustyZebra]

I should mention that I usually have a three-tier system in my list, with a shortlist, a bold shorter list, and *votes*, but I didn't do that this time. The top three were very clear to me, without having to dither among a shorter list, so everyone else can consider themselves to be on the bold list even if it wasn't bold. And everyone not mentioned is on the other list, so not being mentioned is ...err... a mention. Gosh, I feel like Starbeast.

 

[The Judge]

Lots of very good stories as ever, but a shame we couldn't get a few more entries for such a great picture. Anyhow, my favourites were the ones which were a bit off-kilter, so for my shortlist, a little longer than normal and that's after being very ruthless:

Cascade -- Of a Pict Song -- loved this, not least as it reminded me of a great short story I read years ago
Cat's Cradle -- Field Trip to the Home of Miss Bessie McFadden -- loved both the idea of totem fetishes and the professor's voice
Culhwch -- An Ending -- good use of short lines to build tension and a great last line
farntfar -- Despatch note. -- an Alan Bennet type monologue with a poignant end
Glen -- a moment of madness -- a defiant message of hope and determination
Juliana -- The Blessing Bough -- a great idea, well written, with all human nature on show
LittleStar -- Air on a Hill -- both joyous and desperately sad
Phyrebrat -- The Project Manager's Diary -- made me laugh!
TheDustyZebra -- Ode -- great use of voice
The Storyteller -- The Alien Gate -- clever twist to show us the reality but make us doubt it, before confirming its truth
Ursa major -- Arrangement in Dark and Shade -- shades of Grendal's momma, but in Grey and Black

And after a good deal of thought and going back and forth, my votes went to Cascade, Glen and The Storyteller


I'm astounded my entry has come up so often in people's shortlistings etc, but some elderly, old-man's-beard swathed thanks for the mentions/shortlistings to The Storyteller (thanks for the lovely comment), Kerry, telford, johnnyjet, crystal haven, farntfar, Perp, Starbeast, Phyrebrat (the Queen Mum, how did you guess? ) and Mr Orange. And some only just younger than mangrove mega-thanks for the wonderful votes Cascade (glad the pun didn't make you change your mind!), LittleStar, Anne, Juliana, Victoria, Cat's Cradle, Remedy (thanks also for the kind words), TDZ, Boneman, ratsy and Chris. Thank you all kindly!