DISCUSSION -- April 2015 300-word Writing Challenge (#17)

[Tywin]

I'm going to start working on 76 word titles for my 75 word stories.

 

[Droflet]

Thanks, Victoria, generous as ever.

 

[Ursa major]

I knew that rule hence my titles - in which a kerfuffle happens...

Hugo down that route at your own peril....

 

[Dan Jones]

@Cat's Cradle - The Milk of Freedom (A Modern Fairy Dairy Tale) - I recall you being rather reticent about your own writing recently on some of the forums, but with entries like this you've nothing to worry about; you've got a real flair for the madcap going on! Victoria is spot on with the Swift comparison; there's something udderly Brobdingnagian about the cow's rewriting of their own history. I have to admit, the first thing it reminded me of wasn't Swift but the Pink Floyd song Sheep, where the ovine oppressed rise up against their piggy masters by learning Kung Fu. Wonderful, Mel Brooks-type craziness.

@Jo Zebedee - With A Whimper Not A Bang - they say you shouldn't get high on your own supply, but this is taking things to a whole new level. I can detect a type of Gaia-style sentience in the grass, in the pools, in the drugs themselves, all working together to try and write the wrongs committed by the silly monkeys in their flying contraptions. While we're reading this from the perspective of one of the dealers, as time progresses the sense of flipping consciousnesses becomes apparent, as the humans fizzle into nothingness and the Earth itself becomes the real protagonist. Dark and thought-provoking.

@Juliana - Whisper In The Wind - from the first few paragraphs it almost seems as though we're getting another sentient-Earth tale, but the reveal at the end is the comforting notion of the ones left behind being guided by the departed. Not a great deal happens, but we're drawn into a world of real sensory depth, and this simplicity is its strength. The world threatens to be malignantly aloof, all sinister sounds and foreboding glimmers in the darkness, but love cuts through that darkness, across the ether like a laser. Touching and sweet.

I'm doing these far too slowly, I know, but I'll try and catch up through the week with the other great entries - there's been too much sunshine to waste this weekend!

 

[Dan Jones]

Oh, and thanks to Victoria for the lovely reviews as ever

 

[Juliana]

Aw, thanks DG! That was beautiful.

 

[Cat's Cradle]

Thank you so much, DG, for the terrific review. Honestly, for me the fun part of these challenges is after you get your own story out of the way, and can enjoy the great comments in the discussion thread, the brilliant reviews, and the camaraderie of the event. Thanks to everyone who make these Challenges so darn much fun. CC

 

[Jo Zebedee]

Thanks, DG. Nice job!

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

Cascade -- With simple language and a deceptively calm tone, the author creates genuine terror.

 

[Starbeast]

300.17​

Cat's Cradle - Like the calf said to mama cow, "Mooo-ore" Hilarious entry, with a historical flare to it. It left me chanting, "What do we want?!" "Animal rights!!!" "When do we want them?!" "NOW!!!". I feel so good, I want a double cheese burger, with everything.

Jo Zebedee - To legalize, or not to legalize? That is the question. And the author makes an interesting case with this smoking story about making powerful drugs for public use. Unfortunately we all know that hard drugs, lead to snacking on junk food and cartoons.

Juliana - An excellent tingling horror tale that creeps into you slowly from the dark side of real life, and then chills your blood with tremendous drama from beyond the realms of the unknown. When spirits of the undead guide a lone survivor to safety. Grimly good.

Denise Tanaka - Firstly, nice to meet you. And second, you wrote a tale that would make a great book or tv series about the misadventures of an individual who has a crystal pendant, that possesses the power to shape-shift it's wearer. I was left wanting more, like the next chapter.

Willwallace - Awesome Atoc saga. That takes you from an astonishing origin, then leads you into his forgotton legend. Marvelously written short story that grips the backbone of ancient history, and adds wonderment to the primal age of humankind. Good stuff.

DG Jones - "May-day, may-day!!! Flight YV1906, has been highjacked!!!" Terror on an airliner is put into and eerie jet-fueled nightmare in the sky. The author illustrates this tale in caustic journey that has no happy ending. The Grim Reaper, is ready to recieve new souls.

Ashleyne. B. Watts - Ever wonder if there are still fantastic unexplored areas on this (or in this) world we live on. Well, the author shows us that venturing into the unknown regions of this planet, is a fate worse then death for cats with overwhelming curiosity.

Victoria Silverwolf - A weird World War II tale, very cool. I've always enjoyed these kind of strange stories which are set in the late 1930's to the early 1940's. And the author gives us something to think about, is Cruz mad? Or has he been given a slice of heaven? Spectacular.

 

[willwallace]

Oh Starbeast, what amazing reviews, thanks.

 

[Cat's Cradle]

Thanks for the wonderful review, Starbeast! But oh dear:

I want a double cheese burger, with everything.

What would Bertie say??

 

[Jo Zebedee]

Starbeast, thank you. Have some munchies?

 

[LittleStar]

Got my entry in. It wasn't exactly what I planned (in fact kinda the exact opposite really), but it was a fun half an hour. Bring on the next one, i say! Now I can go back and read all of the entries to see what other great ideas you all came up with

 

[Tywin]

Got my entry in. It wasn't exactly what I planned (in fact kinda the exact opposite really), but it was a fun half an hour. Bring on the next one, i say! Now I can go back and read all of the entries to see what other great ideas you all came up with

Half an hour????

Why did I spend days on mine???

 

[LittleStar]

Half an hour????

Why did I spend days on mine???

Maybe half an hour was a bit short. Forty minutes?? I'm a quick writer once I've started. And besides, i'm sure your days of work have a better end result than mine

 

[Juliana]

Why thank you very much Starbeast! That was 'grimly good' of you.

 

[Dan Jones]

@Denise Tanaka - The Airplane - this is a quirky little gem, and a cautionary tale of the dangers of hubris, even when one is a shapeshifting... well, in the end we're not sure what the 'airplane' is - maybe the airplane itself has forgotten its own identity, lost it somewhere in the swirling vortices of time and shape? It's funny; there's a bit of life philosophy tied up in this. It's so easy to forget the important things when you're in your prime, thinking you're invincible, whizzing around incarnated as a racing car; but all it takes is one slip for life to remind you of your own shortcomings. Life is a great leveller, sometimes.

@willwallace - Passage - what was it Keyser Söze said? "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist." But Atoc isn't the Devil - he's God, and the greatest trick he might be pulling is to convince the world that he does exist; He exists in the mountains, in the bones of the dead, in the crumbled stones that once were temples; in the collective memory of men. A brilliant condensation of the cyclical nature of civilisation and a hint at the dead things lying at the base of the human soul, ready to spring forth at any moment. You can't kill a god. Especially if he doesn't exist.

@Starbeast - Driving Into Darkness - even the title hints at a kind of slow-burning, Joseph-Conrad style descent into insanity (a bit like watching the England cricket team), and we're treated to a classic slice of Beast, a bleak, ultra-violent thriller filled with noirish prose that reads like a Dummies' Guide to brutish depravity. The short format allows Beast to expertly distil our MC's brutality into a few impassive thought processes ("I killed him...", "I ran over a kid", "I butchered both men..."; the very essence of psychopathy. And when the devils pour out of that vicious vomitorium, we know our guide's insanity is about to consume himself, and not before time too.

@DG Jones - Flight YV1906 to Berlin - Ooh, this one's mine!

@Ashleyne. B. Watts - Heels Over Head (Alternate Lifestyle) - It took me three readings of this macabre fun-fest to try and make head or tail from it, but once I cracked it I realised what a clever little trick it was. Not only can we read the cautionary tale of not overextending oneself, but we're shown parallel universes, made literal through the perceived portals somewhere in the sky but figurative through the inversion of realities; witness the pilot nosediving to climb into the sky, jellyfish floating by as the ocean swirls below him, and of course the gruesome, Amin-esque limb transposition at the end. It all points towards life... but perhaps not as we know it. There's a hint that the whole piloting section was perhaps a deep dream-as-defence-mechanism to ward off the horror of the present, but it's left hanging, much like a leg dangling from a shoulder blade. A fitting end to a triumvirate of pretty grim stories.

More later, folks! I know it's being said to death this month, but seriously: fantastic stories by everyone so far.

 

[Dan Jones]

Thanks for the excellent reviews, Starbeast! Have to concur with CC inasmuch as the reviews, comments and jokes are at least as much fun as the challenges themselves. Aren't we a very self-satisfied bunch of clever clogs

 

[willwallace]

Thanks for the excellent reviews, Starbeast! Have to concur with CC inasmuch as the reviews, comments and jokes are at least as much fun as the challenges themselves. Aren't we a very self-satisfied bunch of clever clogs

I really appreciate DG, Starbeast, Victoria and anyone else who goes through the trouble to review the submissions. The stories do become more of a jumping off point for further discussion than one would imagine possible. Thanks again!!