DISCUSSION -- July 2016 300-word Writing Challenge (#22)

Victoria Silverwolf said:
ratsy -- The author chooses the very difficult task of portraying a love beyond human. Through the use of a wistful, nostalgic narrative style, what would seem to be nearly impossible to convey achieves true verisimilitude. The ending of the story is sure to touch the reader's heart.
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Thank you so much @Victoria Silverwolf I love the review, and while I really enjoyed you saying I had a 'wistful, nostalgic narrative style' I even more loved that I had a review with the word verisimilitude in it. My mom would have liked that one :LOL:
 
johnnyjet -- In this dreamlike account of a strange and mysterious future, the author creates a coming-of-age ritual unlike any other. The young persons depicted in this story, although they inhabit a world very different from our own, will remind the reader of the awkward years between childhood and adulthood. Through this technique we come to understand what it would feel like to live in such a reality.
 
StilLearning -- In this unique offering the author manages to combine the police procedural, fantasy, science fiction, and comedy into one sparkling package. With a very light touch, all of these elements are kept in perfect balance, delighting the reader. A wry bit of satire at the end ties everything up with just the right touch.
 
Shyrka, The line "throwing ashen dust in its wake," is so perfect in the context of the story and it's moment of use. Very clever.
 
DG Jones -- What first strikes the reader about this tragic love story is the wealth of technical detail which begins it. Through this technique the author is able to establish the protagonist as a reliable, honest narrator. Thus, when fantastic, mythic themes enter the tale, we are prepared to accept it as poetic truth.
 
DG Jones said:
Well, I'm in - and just to show off, my first draft came in at 263 words, which had me scratching my head more than when the draft usually lands at 200 words over budget... o_O
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Both Epic and Poetic, thoroughly enjoyed it. Agree with Victoria, the introduction sets the piece up beautifully.
 
mosaix -- Appropriately, this tale which takes place in the very near future sets the scene with a conversation which could have been transcribed from tomorrow's news broadcast. This use of a documentary-like style draws the reader into a very believable world. When the vast scale of the events happening is revealed, one cannot avoid experiencing them in vivid detail.
 
Phyrebrat -- This dreamy, moody, poetic account of love and war seduces the reader into its misty and pastel world. Once under the spell of the author's words, she is compelled to enter the narrator's half-mad consciousness as if it were her own. A touch of grim reality adds to the impact of the climax.
 
Ashleyne. B. Watts -- This unique, highly original tale begins with the seemingly simplicity of a young child's bedtime story. It soon becomes far more complex, as elements of mysticism and apocalyptic visions combine into a magical puzzle box. The more the reader ponders it, the richer it becomes.

Moonbat -- Vivid sensory details are used to create a sense of intimacy with the narrator of this deceptively quiet story. The author chooses to paint a single brief moment in blazing colors, allowing the reader to fill in the past and future. A touch of music adds to the artistic appeal of this creation.

The Judge -- As if drawn from the collective unconscious of humanity, this newly fashioned folktale creates mythic archetypes which carry far more meaning than is evident at first glance. Anthropomorphism and animism combine in a way which renders the familiar strange and the magical real. It is sure to appeal to readers of every level of sophistication.

Ursa major -- Behind the darkly humorous surface of this story lie deep philosophical and scientific speculations. Drawing on some of the most advanced and difficult hypotheses of modern physics and cosmology, the author causes the reader to ponder the nature of reality. When some an intellectual exercise is wrapped up in such an entertaining package, one can hardly ask for more.
 
Thank you, Victoria. As flattering as ever.


For a moment there, I wasn't sure I was going to make it tonight. Unusually for me I had three separate ideas for a possible story, with two or three different treatments/plots for each of them. The first -- and until teatime today, the only -- involved cannibalising a moon legend from my fantasy WiP, but I couldn't get it anywhere close to 300 words in the format I really wanted for it, and besides it didn't involve the bulrushes which for me really made the inspiration image, and which I thought deserved their moment in the sun. So I dumped that and went with one of two bulrush ideas. Then from nowhere my fingers typed the moon coming down to swim in the lake, which had nothing to do with the flaming plot I'd considered, so I had to start all over again! Luckily at that point the bulrush child spoke out loud, which showed me where to take it. But even then, the story really wanted to be at least double in size, and even paring back as I typed, it ended up at 370 words, the longest Challenge draft I've ever done. So I've spent all evening cutting.
 
Fitzchiv -- With empathy and understanding the author depicts a sensitive character reacting to an impending disaster which cannot be prevented. As many of us do when confronted with an overwhelming threat, the protagonist retreats into a childlike state of helplessness. This psychological portrait is created with great depth and insight.

Mad Alice -- This dazzling new creation myth packs in an extraordinary number of magical elements. The reader cannot help but be drawn into its dizzying pace and generous offering of the fantastic. One imagines a group of entranced listeners gathered around a wise storyteller.

BigJ -- The matter-of-fact tone of this story emphasizes its larger-than-life content. Even when incredible events happen, it reminds us, many things will go on as they always have. It is the exquisitely detailed accounts of every day life which give this tale its impact.
 
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The voting process seems to keep getting harder and harder. I kept going around and around, adding names, taking them out, putting them back in, and so on. But it has to stop some time. For whatever it might be worth, here it is.

Short List

Jo Zebedee

J D Foster

Cascade

Perpetual Man

Shyrka

ratsy

DG Jones

The Judge

VOTES

"A Cup of Moonshine" by Wruter.

There were a good handful of fine stories this time which were written in the form of myths, legends, or folktales. I chose this one as the best of the bunch.

"Ten Second Waves" by DZara.

Of the various science fiction stories submitted for this challenge, this one was outstanding for its realism and down-to-earth tone. I also chose it for a unique premise.

"The Spark from a Burning Moon" by johnnyjet.

I had to classify this among the many fantasy stories created for this round, despite some futuristic elements. Regardless of what genre it might be classified as, it was unusually effective.
 
List:
Wruter, A Cup of Moonshine
J D Foster, Dust
Cascade, The Delta
Shyrka, Small Steps
Stilllearning, Vehicular Offence
Mosaix, An Offer They Can't Refuse...

Votes:
MoonBat, Saviour Moon
Fitzchiv, Cake and Wotsits
BigJ, Not With a Whimper...

Funny that all my votes came in close to the end. Maybe I should learn a lesson about psychology and not post so close to the beginning.
 
My Favorites (Votes in Bold)


Victoria Silverwolf – Amber Waves

Wruter – A Cup of Moonshine

Jo Zebedee – A Single Fall of Hair

Chrispenycate – Homecoming

Dzara – Ten Second Waves

Shryka – Small Steps

Ratsy – The Moon is a Harsh Mistress

Phyrebrat – Conscientious Deserter

Moonbat – Saviour Moon

Ursa Major – Can You Have Emotion Without Motion?


A tough one. Too many excellent writers!!
 
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