DISCUSSION -- October 2017 300-Word Writing Challenge (#27)

I'm made three false starts so far. There's a crumb of something decent there, but I haven't quite found it yet.
 
Getting down to 300 was hard enough. Now I keep 'improving' it and evey improvement comes in too big. So I get back to 300 and then 'improve' it further and over 300 it goes. So I get it back to 300 and more 'improvements' follow and... of course its over 300. When does this close?

I need a moment of coalescence as experienced by Cathbad

:confused:
 
Ah, the feared pendulum effect. In my case, for this challenge, I oscillated over and under the wordcount by a couple of words only, back and forth for a few days, just trying to get the phrasing right.

And @Cathbad seems to be one of the Illuminated. Those epiphanies are doled out by the Fates very sparingly, so don't hold your breath @Peter V :D.
 
Finally posted my story, i needed a bit more words to make it a bit smoother but that's what i came out with.
 
Anyone fancy having a go at reviewing the ones posted so far?

I would have a stab at it but you'd get like...

Story One - nice tale
Story Two - nice tale
Etc

We need one of the more experienced to essay them :)
 
Grandmother's Garden, @Ashleyne - Some people have problems letting go... but grandmothers never let go!

Lost then Found, @Cat's Cradle - Who would have thought a pair of knickers could cause so much trouble and heartache? Hope the old girl is finally satisfied...

The Small, @Ihe - You can't always judge someone's strength - or wisdom - from their size. And you can't always judge an army by their equipment. At least not when a Necromancer's about!

Accusation, @Calliopenjo - One accused of something one did not do could cause one to strike out! But if you have s good friend, he can help you put things in perspective; from a non-Normal point of view.
 
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Mary's Boy Child, @dannymcg - There is nothing so miserable as a mother who has lost her child. But when you are wrongly held as the reason for your loss! Rare is the woman who would not fold. Yet, would any mother ever give up hope?

I'll be sittin’ when the evenin’ come, @Luiglin - A motherly matron, tending the garden - and even the gentleman reposing there. A kiss of heaven to be warmed by.

I came for you, @DragonAether - We might try to deny our - and all mankind's - fate; but in the end, the Taker of Souls will have us all.

Up the Garden Path, @Peter V - Old Lady Masie's garden grew beautifully! But one shouldn't assume that is all Masie is capable of. Lucky for Astaroth, he remembered in time!

 
The Veil, @Victoria Silverwolf - This Madonna suffers a grievous punishment for her vanity: A crushing blow to her pride. She has only her own curiosity to blame...

Twilight bravery, @chrispenycate - Has not the child grown enough to walk home alone, when he has learnt that the true bogiemen are all too real? Oh, that our carefree youths would last a lifetime!

Pas Ce Soir, @Wruter - One would think our follies would grow fewer as we grow older. But we are a race that simply refuses to learn wisdom. I wonder if the class checked in on Wellington and Leberecht, too?
 
Thank you Cathbad! Cool reviews. (But do not leave the picture of the old girl up on your computer overnight!!;))
 
Ashleyne -- The author reaches deep into the heart for honest and genuine emotions, avoiding sentimentality through the use of realistic details which make the fantastic seem familiar and comforting. By presenting the narrator's full circle of life the reader is reassured of the continuity of human relationships.

Cat's Cradle -- Many disparate elements are combined in this unique story, creating a mosaic of themes and moods which blend in a kaleidoscopic pattern. Playfulness is combined with the eerie, and terror with the comic, resulting in an experience unlike any other.

Ihe -- By portraying a conflict on what would seem to be, at first, a small and unimportant scale, this tale of subtle strategy aptly relates the importance of a quiet, moral victory. The protagonist is one to whom we can all relate, and the reader shares in the triumph.

Calliopenjo -- The eternal unfairness of life is made vividly real in this gentle fantasy of innocence misjudged. The way in which a single ally can lighten the trials and tribulations we face every day inspires the reader to go on through whatever challenges may come.

Cathbad -- This chilling tale of a mysterious menace sets the heart racing by narrating its events as they happen, through the eyes of a protagonist whose courage is challenged by the horrors witnessed. As the story reaches its ambiguous ending, the reader yearns to learn more, sharing the hero's thrilled curiosity.

dannymcg -- The pain of loss, and the equally painful experience of unfulfilled hope, serve as the themes of this account of a traumatic experience which can never be healed. By refusing to offer the reader a comforting resolution, the author sharpens the intensity of the story, reminding us that not all endings are happy ones, and that we do not always find closure.

Luiglin -- An extraordinary encounter leads to a feeling of peace, rather than the expected shock and consternation, in this quietly powerful fantasy. Careful reading is required to fully appreciate the implications of its conclusion.

DragonAether -- The flowing rhythm of the extended sentences in this moody tale of inescapable fate aptly portrays the way in which the protagonist is drawn by destiny. The powerful way in which this story reminds us that some things cannot be avoided is sure to make the reader think.

Peter V -- In this imaginative fantasy of extraordinary worlds, the reader is treated to a tale of good triumphing over evil. The fact that virtue does not have to be outwardly intimidating to be effective is an important lesson.

chrispenycate -- The author enters into the mind of a child in a completely convincing way, heightening the impact of this account of the anxieties of youth. By portraying imaginary terrors, and the seemingly paradoxical way in which they can alleviate our fears, the reality of genuine horrors is made evident.

Wruter -- This historical fantasy allows the reader both the pleasure of looking into the psyche of a remarkable person, and that of speculative imagining of what might have been. The ironic nature of an encounter between past and future makes the reader ponder the possible mutability of reality.
 
These are the reviews I've done, so far. Overall, it's such an inspiration learning from each of you.

Grandmother’s Garden: This story was tight from beginning to end. I was immediately drawn near to the character through emotion triggering imagery, that was absent of sappiness. The story was pithy—bringing me full circle to her readiness for leaving this world. Then, I am surprised with a clever, tender ending.



Lost then Found: Great imagery coming from out of the laptop screen! Great showing of the reaction when she entered in. Written with a light hand, and truly making me smile. Bringing me from horror to laughter—that was a memorable experience, for certain.



The Small: I love the sagacity-like feel I gain from Paulie. He may have been small, and held the poorer goods, yet it was not through mean trickery that he wins, but—though small and poor, he seemed rich in shrewdness; he won because of his abiding patience. Well written, will remain in my mind. It seems to teach me something without “telling or preaching,” which is clever in my opinion.



Accusation: I loved the pace and ending of this story. In such a short word limit, you brought me close to your characters, causing me to want to read on. The ending was a clever surprise for me. It gave me a feel for the true Philosophers vs. the Sophists. Great story.



What Next? This story gripped me from beginning to end. I loved the imagery created, adroit with word choice. It also leaves me wanting to take off on my own—it leaves me with a cool sense of mystery. I loved this aspect of the story. I was brought back to my youth, to memorable horror stories shared around Halloween. This one will stay in my mind, that’s for sure.



Mary’s Boy Child: This story drew me in, immediately. It was a chilling tale, and you brought it around wonderfully, with Mary’s request for the return of her boy. She knew she wasn’t guilty; yet I got a sense this wasn’t her concern. Her only concern all those years was in getting her son back.



I’ll be sittin’ when the evenin’ come: I was surprised, here. You wrote this so well, building up suspense within me. When I realized she was non-material, I joined with your protagonist, just accepting the garden apparition as part of the garden—a welcome part. The fact that you’ve made this figure a source of comfort was surprising because it ended up being so enjoyable to experience this comfort through your character.



I came for you: This was a chiller, for sure. I loved how it began with a sense of normalcy, then surprised me with a truly horrific end.



Up the Garden Path: This one sent chills up my spine. Well written, great build-up to surprising me with her true age. Also, I loved how she turned out to be a heroine—who lived on for more than her garden, it was her guardianship and protection against beings who meant the people harm.



The Veil: From title to end, I was raptured into this story. Such an enjoyment, and surprise. Lessons learned, with no direct teaching…and wonderful descriptive writing, especially toward the end, when relating what she saw along the pathway to her stunned emotions at what she’d seen behind the veil.



Twilight Bravery: I loved how close I felt with the main character. I loved the surprise at the end—that he’d become inured to horrors, in fact, thus, “Boogiemen? Fooey.” Really well written, and will stick in my memory.



Pas Ce Soir: Very crafty story. I love how it included the chronoscope, and how the children noted Napoleon was listening on…Clever, I thought. A different way to show how the man was able to muster up his courage, when he had begun so hopeless.
 
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