Discussion Thread -- APRIL 2020 -- 300-Worder Writing Challenge (#37)

[Elckerlyc]

I wrote 3 stories in my hunt for something I deemed fit for entry in this Challenge. My entry was story no. 3.
I quite liked it myself, because it approached the theme from the mirrors' perspective. That didn't really work (1 vote [thank you @HoopyFrood] and 1 mention today [thank you @Starbeast].) Could have been better, could have been worse. Too different perhaps and, as the story doesn't contain anything to connect with, I can understand the result.

When I write for a challenge I just follow several ideas, curious where it will lead me. Obviously, it's enjoying the process of writing as well that drives me. A kind of discovery, where one story evokes the next. But what to do with the unused stories? It kind of makes me sad to think no one will ever read them.
Therefor, as dessert, or coda or whatever, below 2 superfluous stories on a theme nobody else will understand but my fellow chroners. Enjoy, or not.
(No voting required.)

 

[Elckerlyc]

Made by [ILLEGIBLE]


“Mr…” The stranger at my door checked a drenched note and read ”Roysendahl? The goldsmith?”
I only just managed to suppress an aggrieved “Ruijzendael.” Foreigners!
“Ja,” I confirmed.
“Ah, so glad to meet you! I eh… Forgive me, you do understand English, yes?”
It was raining relentlessly. The way he kept gesticulating with the hand holding his umbrella explained perhaps how his note, and the rest of him, had gotten soaked. I watched as the last traces of ink dissolved.
“Yes, I speak English. You’d better come inside, out of this <beep> rain.”

“How can I help you?” I asked, once seated in the salon. He had explained how he had wandered through Amsterdam for hours, looking for my house. Apparently nobody had been able to help him. Now, undone from his dripping cloak, he still looked like he had walked into every canal along the way.
“Thank you for receiving me,” he gushed. “I very much appreciate it. You’re my last hope.”
That sounded ominous.
“You see,” he continued, retrieving several folded pieces of paper from a pocket, “You see, I have developed this clockwork, of unsurpassed accuracy I might add, and I wanted to give it something special, something decorous, an extended housing if you like, and I eh... have drawn a design… Yes, here it is.”
He handed me a damp piece of paper.
The design gave me an inkling of how he had come to resort to last hopes. It was of a career destroying clumsiness.
“What do you think of it?”
“I think that eh… for the most part it eh… can be done,” I ended weakly.
“Hallelujah!”
“On one condition.”
“Yes?”
“That nobody, and I mean nobody, will ever know that I am the artisan who made it.”
“As you wish, Mr. Roysendahl.”

 

[Elckerlyc]

An Offer You Can’t Refuse


Mr. Nescio announced his presence in my workshop by a subtle cough. There was no subtlety in the way he changed my life.
He offered me work I couldn’t refuse, even though I tried.
It took me three months to make the requested frame with all its intricate swirly nonsense. I had been warned that any deviation from his design, by so much as a hairbreadth, would void our agreement. It made for nervous, sweaty and tedious work, not helped very much by the queasy feeling the design gave me.

The day I finished work on his frame Mr. Nescio entered my shop, carrying a thin rectangular package under his arm.
“Final part to be assembled,” he declared.
“Perhaps you wish to examine the framework first?” I suggested.
“No need. I would know if it wasn’t perfect. And so would you.”
He patted the package. “This contains a mirror, which must be fitted into the frame. I advise you most strongly not to even glance at it.”
I swallowed. “How am I to fasten it without looking?”
“Keep your eyes closed.” He shrugged. “I’m positive you have the skill to do the job blindfolded.”
Surprised I noticed I could.
“Well now,” Mr. Nescio announced. “A few things remain to be done. Activating the device, removing any traces, and taking care of your fee. I will accomplish this in one move.”
I was still parsing what he had just said when time ran out. He started uttering some strange, echoing words. My workshop faded away, resolving into the empty hall I had found 11 years ago. Abruptly my viewpoint switched to that from where the mirror was leaning against the wall.
“There.” Mr Nescio smiled, “Lifelong guardian in an indestructible, interdimensional portal. How is that for payment?”

 

[Parson]

If anyone's interested, my story was inspired by a Star Trek episode. Did anyone pick up on that?

 

[Astro Pen]

If anyone's interested, my story was inspired by a Star Trek episode. Did anyone pick up on that?

That, Parson, encourages me to raise a newby question.
To save me slogging back through history, does a straight sci-fi story have a hope of winning or is fantasy very much the order of the day?

 

[BT Jones]

If anyone's interested, my story was inspired by a Star Trek episode. Did anyone pick up on that?

I must admit @Parson I imagined a future North Korea when I read the story. Which Star trek episode inspired it? Classic trek, I presume, rather than Next Gen?

 

[Phyrebrat]

Belated congratulations, @Cat's Cradle - what a large number of votes.

Thank you for the mentions and in particular to johnnyjet, Cats Cradle, Daysman, Karn and BT Jones, for the votes.

Initially I had a story with a mirror but every time I looked at the picture, the gilt frames and crossbar just made me think of late-summer wheat. In the end, my idea was too long to get into 300 words, so I worked from scratch, this time using the wheat idea and it came so much easier.

pH

 

[Danny McG]

If anyone's interested, my story was inspired by a Star Trek episode. Did anyone pick up on that?

Nope, @Parson you going to tell us?
After your comment I've just now reread it but I can't get a connection

 

[AMB]

@Parson I think I got vibes at the time. Quick recheck and I'd say it's based on Mirror Kirk's method of keeping command in Mirror, Mirror.

 

[BT Jones]

An Offer You Can’t Refuse


Mr. Nescio announced his presence in my workshop by a subtle cough. There was no subtlety in the way he changed my life.
He offered me work I couldn’t refuse, even though I tried.
It took me three months to make the requested frame with all its intricate swirly nonsense. I had been warned that any deviation from his design, by so much as a hairbreadth, would void our agreement. It made for nervous, sweaty and tedious work, not helped very much by the queasy feeling the design gave me.

The day I finished work on his frame Mr. Nescio entered my shop, carrying a thin rectangular package under his arm.
“Final part to be assembled,” he declared.
“Perhaps you wish to examine the framework first?” I suggested.
“No need. I would know if it wasn’t perfect. And so would you.”
He patted the package. “This contains a mirror, which must be fitted into the frame. I advise you most strongly not to even glance at it.”
I swallowed. “How am I to fasten it without looking?”
“Keep your eyes closed.” He shrugged. “I’m positive you have the skill to do the job blindfolded.”
Surprised I noticed I could.
“Well now,” Mr. Nescio announced. “A few things remain to be done. Activating the device, removing any traces, and taking care of your fee. I will accomplish this in one move.”
I was still parsing what he had just said when time ran out. He started uttering some strange, echoing words. My workshop faded away, resolving into the empty hall I had found 11 years ago. Abruptly my viewpoint switched to that from where the mirror was leaning against the wall.
“There.” Mr Nescio smiled, “Lifelong guardian in an indestructible, interdimensional portal. How is that for payment?”

I must admit @Elckerlyc that this one here was my favourite of your three stories. I liked the atmosphere and setting in ...Illegible too, but felt that it ended a bit softly (unless I missed something more poignant). Still, it's impressive to be able to produce 3 stories on one topic. Some of us struggle with just the one!!

 

[Parson]

I must admit @Parson I imagined a future North Korea when I read the story. Which Star trek episode inspired it? Classic trek, I presume, rather than Next Gen?

@Parson I think I got vibes at the time. Quick recheck and I'd say it's based on Mirror Kirk's method of keeping command in Mirror, Mirror.

I see I didn't have to say, Yes, "Mirror, Mirror." I had to look up the name to know if this was the right episode.

Two scenes have been burned in my conscious, one is where "our" Kirk confronts their Spock and and asks how long before the rebel hope of a unified rebellion materializes. Spoke gives him (what else?) an exact answer. Then Jim suggests to him that a society which will inevitably dissolve into a successful revolution is illogical and that he (Spoke) should take control of the machine--the mirror which made people disappear --which had made their Kirk invincible and work to change the future of the Federation.

The next is just about the last scene where our Kirk gets back to our Enterprise. He finds that their Kirk was rapidly put into custody, and he asks Spock how they were able to catch "their" Kirk so rapidly. Spock replies "It's easier for a civilized man to act like a barbarian, then for a barbarian to act like a civilized man." ---- I thought both of those statement were immensely profound when I was 16, now I'm much more jaded. (Is that a good thing?)

That, Parson, encourages me to raise a newby question.
To save me slogging back through history, does a straight sci-fi story have a hope of winning or is fantasy very much the order of the day?

This is an opinion question even if (and I haven't done the homework to say either) there have been more Fantasy winners that S.F. My opinion, based on my participation in nearly every 75, is that if there is a bias, it is very slight. Although, in my opinion, more of authorly sorts write more Fantasy than S.F. I think that a good story is just that, a good story. Now we might differ a bit on the elements of a good story, but any judgment call is just that, a judgment call, something that does easily yield to quantification. If you have a good S.F. story and it fits the genre, go for it! It is also worth noting that we have often had S.F. as the only genre for the story. So............. Yes, I do think that a S.F. story stands as good a chance of winning as a Fantasy story.

 

[Teresa Edgerton]

Years ago I won one of these (it was a January Challenge but I don't remember the year) with an SF story, so it is certainly possible. I mean, we do have more fantasy writers on the forums, I think, so that probably results in more fantasy stories being submitted over all.

Also: in the 75 Word Challenges where a lot of the winners try to come up with a theme/genre for the next month that hasn't been used before, there are more sub-genres of fantasy to choose from, so there probably are more months where all the stories are fantasy, but there have been months where the genre was SF. So yes, more of the 75 winners would be fantasy, although not all of them by any means.

But here in the 300 word challenge the genre is already set, and it is any sort of speculative fiction, and the moderators try to alternate inspiration pictures that suggest SF or Fantasy more or less equally. (Not that a picture which we think will suggest SF brings forth all SF stories, or one that seems like Fantasy or Horror will inspire everyone to write in those genres either. But we try to make it equal, and after that it is up to people to write what they feel inspired to write and later to vote for what appeals to them.)

 

[Elckerlyc]

I must admit @Elckerlyc that this one here was my favourite of your three stories. I liked the atmosphere and setting in ...Illegible too, but felt that it ended a bit softly (unless I missed something more poignant). Still, it's impressive to be able to produce 3 stories on one topic. Some of us struggle with just the one!!

Thanks.
About [Illegible], I guess you missed something, but I wouldn't call it poignant. But that is as I expected.
The story is based on the notion that the pronunciation of your name by a foreigner can get so mangled that it becomes nearly unrecognizable to the owner. I suppose this happens less to English speaking people as most people know how to speak English.
The last line of this story tells the MC he doesn't have to worry about his connection to the artwork, because the visitor gets his name horrible wrong and his note with name got illegible.

 

[Ursa major]

Not that a picture which we think will suggest SF brings forth all SF stories, or one that seems like Fantasy or Horror will inspire everyone to write in those genres either. But we try to make it equal, and after that it is up to people to write what they feel inspired to write and later to vote for what appeals to them.

And then there are those stories where the PoV character thinks it's SF -- with a portal to parallel universes -- but it's just as likely that it's a Fantasy in which the PoV character has been successfully tempted by a demon that's disguised itself as him.

But that would be... er... weird, wouldn't it? (And so now onto the 75-word challenge, where the chances of producing more weird fiction are reducing as each hour passes....)

 

[Karn's Return]

There was no real trick about mine, you all know how much of a Wonderland buff I am. XD But I did my own little part for it, obviously...inspired by American Mcgee's games as well as original.

 

[Teresa Edgerton]

One thing to keep in mind is that when there are several beautifully written stories with compelling plots what can ultimately sell readers on a story and gain votes is the first thing they see (the title) or the last (the final line) because these tend to linger in the memory. Yes everything between matters, too—or course it matters—but consider what readers may remember when it is time to vote and pay special attention to giving something they will remember.

 

[BT Jones]

Thanks.
About [Illegible], I guess you missed something, but I wouldn't call it poignant. But that is as I expected.
The story is based on the notion that the pronunciation of your name by a foreigner can get so mangled that it becomes nearly unrecognizable to the owner. I suppose this happens less to English speaking people as most people know how to speak English.
The last line of this story tells the MC he doesn't have to worry about his connection to the artwork, because the visitor gets his name horrible wrong and his note with name got illegible.

I can see that now @Elckerlyc. Yep, that was definitely me missing the delicacy of the point. I think I am probably guilty of that quite often.

 

[Parson]

Good grief! I am going to have to be sure to proof read after this! --- Or at least when I think about it!

Two scenes have been burned in my conscious, one is where "our" Kirk confronts their Spock and and asks how long before the rebel hope of a unified rebellion materializes. Spoke gives him (what else?) an exact answer. Then Jim suggests to him that a society which will inevitably dissolve into a successful revolution is illogical and that he (Spoke) should take control of the machine--the mirror which made people disappear --which had made their Kirk invincible and work to change the future of the Federation.

"Spoke" in stead of "Spock?" Since I'm typing on a computer I can't even blame the drated villain "auto-correct." This was a bad bit of typing!

Now we might differ a bit on the elements of a good story, but any judgment call is just that, a judgment call, something that does easily yield to quantification. If you have a good S.F. story and it fits the genre, go for it! It is also worth noting that we have often had S.F. as the only genre for the story.

But this is WORSE! I wrote exactly the opposite of what I meant by not getting the "not" into this phrase: "something that does (not) easily yield to quantification"

---- With great trepidation Parson pushes the "post reply" button. ----

 

[Elckerlyc]

---- With great trepidation Parson pushes the "post reply" button. ----

Don't!

Many, many years ago I was sitting in my room at my parental home, busy doing some programming on an ITT-2020 computer. (I told you it was many years ago).
Outside a thunderstorm was getting closer and closer. I had made some major alterations and bug editing and was finally ready to run the program. So, like Parson, with great trepidation I typed 'RUN' and hit <ENTER>.
At the same instant lightning struck, about 50 meters from our home.
A flash, a truly great noise and a monitor that went blank. It took a few moments before I realized what had happened and remembered to breath in and breath out on a regular basis. But not before my father yelled upstairs, "You still alive there?"
When I checked the RAM memory from my computer was erased, as was my program.

Two things I learned that night: 1. never stop breathing, and 2. regularly save your work.

 

[M. Robert Gibson]

I can't even blame the drated villain "auto-correct."

I think what we have here is an example of Muphry's law