Fun Haiku

[Dexter]

Red rock canyon walls
Geyser fields and mountain peaks
Where my heart grows strong.

 

[Talysia]

That's a beautiful one, Dexter.

Dappled sunlight falls.
Graceful shadows dance beneath
the swaying tree boughs.

 

[ice.monkey]

shafts of light lance down
through the canopy above
the forest floor glows

 

[Dexter]

Thank you, Talysia.

It is past midnight
Before my Muse arises
Noon before I do.

 

[Dexter]

Laughter and a kiss
Or perhaps a knowing look
From precious green eyes.

 

[scalem X]

Although I really like some of the haiku here, I must indeed conclude that not many have that real 'haiku' feeling. The source for this, is that most of you have not read many Japanese haiku and therefore cannot make a connection with sooner haiku, using words alike.

In order to create that awareness, I'll try to post both the original version (Japanese) and the translation (English) in this thread, maybe you can be inspired.

The most famous haiku ever (By Matsuo Bashou):

Furu ike ya
kawazu tobikomu
mizu no oto

An old, (still) pond;
A frog jumping (in) —
Sound of the water.


enjoy and be inspired

 

[ice.monkey]

You're completely right, scalem X. I've not read much Japanese haiku and am willing to be enlightened. However, your post has left me with more questions than answers.

What is 'sooner haiku'?
What do you mean by 'using words alike'?

Please expound, teacher...

 

[Dexter]

Real haiku? I thought this thread was for fun haiku.

Am I really supposed to be trying to imitate what was done before, or is there some value here in exploring/celebrating our own voices? Surely there's room for both paths.

 

[HardScienceFan]

the dutch boy writes
all wait with bated breath
time is wasted,as usual

 

[Talysia]

Glittering water.
Sun shines on flowing river.
A peaceful morning.

 

[scalem X]

See, Talysia some sort of seems to get it. See if you have read a lot of haiku you'll see that half of them are about nature that is a metaphor for a secret love relationship. The morning (frequently used in the last line) then suggests: the time after waking up and the time to leave silently.

'sooner haiku' would just be haiku written earlier.

A gentle breeze blows
I am but a feeble leaf
writing her poems

This one is just by me, but you needn't much imagination to know what it's about.

 

[Talysia]

Hmm, I should've known that there would be a second (and possibly third or fourth) meaning behind a haiku. Let me have another go.

Gently falling rain.
Tracing patterns down my face
Like a soft caress.

That was a lot more difficult than one of the usual haiku I try to write.

 

[Dexter]

Corn chips so salty
As to need a glass of milk
To wash them down with

 

[ice.monkey]

dew glistens on grass
sun raises mist to the skys
dulls before my eyes

 

[HardScienceFan]

the gull screeches
the tide gently rolls in
my wallet,did i lose it?

 

[Dexter]

HardScienceFan, you write some funny haiku.

The young pronghorn runs
Circling mother in the sage
And I fear for him.

 

[HardScienceFan]

the wise one ponders
the fool acts immediately
the banana skin awaits

 

[Dexter]

Sparrows teaching chicks
How to eat at my feeders
Repel the goldfinches.

 

[HardScienceFan]

the reed bends gently
the pond ripples
the breeze of reason soothing

 

[Talysia]

Soft, misty morning
Sees the arrival of sun
Departure of night.