Right, it's DE time.
Jon had to stoop to pass through the low door. Within he found a packed dirt floor. There were no furnishings, no sign that people had lived here but for some ashes beneathe the smokehole in the roof. "What a dismall place to live," he said.
"I was born in a house much like this," declared Dolorous Edd. "Those were my enchanted years. Later i fell on hard times." A nest of dry straw bedding filled one corner of the room. Edd looked on it with longing. "I'd give all the gold in Cssterly Rock to sleep in a bed again."
"You'd call that a bed?"
"If it's softer than the ground and has a roof over it, i call it a bed."
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The Lord commander had entrusted his mount to Dolorous Edd. He was cleaning mud from the horses hooves as Jon dismounted. "Lord Mormont's in the hall," he announced. "He said for you to join him. Best leave the wolf outside, he looks hungry enough to eat one of Craster's children,. Well, truth be told,
I'm hungry enough to eat one of Craster's children, so long as he was served hot. Go on, I'll see to your horse. If it's warm and dry inside, dont tell me, I wasn't asked in." HE flicked a glob of wet mud out from under a horseshoe. "Does this mud look like **** to you? Could it be that this whole hill is amde of Craster's ****?"
Jon smiled. "Well, i hear he's been here a long time."
"You cheer me not. Go see the Old Bear."
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If I lurk about after, not too clsoe to the fire, belike they'll take no note of me til morn. The ones under his roof will be the first he murders, but at least we'll die dry."
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And those are just the first ones i found whilst glancing through ACOK's. Word for word, DE is the funniest guy in literature.
