Simpsons Quotes Thread!

[pamie]

Originally posted by nic
Homer: "If God didn't want us to eat in church he would have made gluttony a sin"

hehe...I love Homer quotes...



Homer: Hello, my name is Mr. Burns; I believe you have a letter for me
Post Office Attendant: O.K. Mr. Burns, what's your first name?
Homer: I don't know


Homer: I love these lazy Saturdays...
Marge: But Homey, it's Wednesday today!
Homer: Waah! Work! (Runs to work)

 

[Morrigan]

Froms eps on as of late...

'I'm pretty sure I can struggle my way out. First I'll just reach in
and pull my legs out ... now I'll pull my arms out with my face.'
~ Homer

'Your infatuation is based on a physical attraction. Talk to the woman and you'll realize you have nothing in common.
"Barney, thats so insightful -- how did you come up with it?"
It was printed on this bar napkin. No, really!'
~ Homer, Mindy

'Bust in here and take it? You must be stupider than you look.
"Stupider like a fox!"'
~ Shelbyville Dude, Homer

'... when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life.'
~ Ralph

'Now, when I say, "Hello, Mr. Thompson," and press down on your foot, you smile and nod.
"No problem."
Hello, Mr. Thompson!
"I think he's talking to you."'
~ FBI Agent, Homer

Okay, will expound more quotes 2morrow

 

[nic]

The "Behind the Scenes" episode.

Homer: "I just wanna clear one thing up right now. I thought the police was a prostitute."

Marge: "....so I said to Homer "do it". Either that, or get off the pot."

Lisa: "I had no business hosting the oscars. Merill Streep spat on me"

 

[pamie]

Originally posted by Morrigan


'Now, when I say, "Hello, Mr. Thompson," and press down on your foot, you smile and nod.
"No problem."
Hello, Mr. Thompson!
"I think he's talking to you."'
~ FBI Agent, Homer

Now that has got to be one of my all time faves...it makes me laugh so much...thanks

 

[Morrigan]

'Cape Feare' is one of my fave, eps, too. They don't play it enough. I've only seen it twice.

 

[Morrigan]

Treehouse of Horrors XI Quotes

G-G-G Ghost D-D-D Dad
------------------------------
'Snakes, natures quiters'~ Homer

'Clupid blorocope' ~ Homer

'...and the testicle thing' ~ Homer

'Oh be quiet! You'll wake up John Wayne!' ~Satan
I'm already up' ~ John Wayne

Scary Tales Can Come True
----------------------------------

'Ow, I just got OVER the plague' ~ Bart

'Hmmm, fish. Oh wait! That's me!' ~ Homer

'Hi, I'm George Cauldren, is Susanne ready yet? ~ George Cauldren
Almost, just give her another 20 minutes.' ~ Homer

Night of the Dolphin
-------------------------

'Hmm, bottle nose bruised, blow hole burns, flipper prints. This looks like the work of rowdy teens. Lou, cancel the prom.' ~ Chief Wiggum

'<Arr, I'm the Sea Captain. Arr!>' ~ Snorky

'Um... did I say killer dolphins, I meant... killer... Italians! Grey, bottlenosed, intelligent Italians. ~ Kent Brockman
Intelligent Italians? Something's wrong.' ~Homer

'We can outsmart those dolphins! Don't forget, we invented computers, leg-warmers, bendy-straws, peel-and-eat shrimp, the glory hole, and the pudding cup! I'm not going to let a bunch of hoop-jumping tuna-munchers push me around!' ~ Homer

 

[nic]

Originally posted by Morrigan
'Cape Feare' is one of my fave, eps, too. They don't play it enough. I've only seen it twice.

Hehe, SideShow Bob's arch enemy the rakes!

 

[Morrigan]

Oh, don't forget Bob on the bottom of the car:

(all from memory, if I get it wrong, eh, ya can't sue me)
Homer: Should we drive through the catus patch?
Bart: YES!
Lisa: YES!
Bob: NO!!!
Homer: 2 to 1, we're going through the catus patch.

It's shortly after that that Bob meets his ever-present foe, the Rake!

 

[nic]

Burns: See my vest, see my vest made from real gorilla chest.
See my sweater, there's no better than orthentic irish setter
See this hat it was my cat
My evening wear vampire bat
These white slippers are albino african endanged rhino.

Grizzly bear underwear
Turtle's necks I've got my share
Brete of poodle on my noodle it shall rest
Try my red robin suit it comes one vest or two

See my vest, see my vest, see my vest!

Like my loafers, former gophers
it what that who's skin I shofered
But a greyhound furr tuxedo would be best!

So lets prepare these dogs!

(Mrs Potts-type maid): Kill two for matching clogs!

Burns: See my vest! See my vest! Oh please wont you see my veeeeeeeeeeeest!

Burns: I really like the vest!
Smithers: I gathered sir.

 

[prince vegeta]

oh oh the ep when marge and homer where having trouble in bed and they figured out that it is better if they had sex in public and they were naked and running from the cops and run into the yard with certain decarations.

homer: marge can we switch places
marge: no, why
homer: i don't trust these guys

 

[Sinistra]

Originally posted by nic
Burns: See my vest, see my vest made from real gorilla chest.
See my sweater, there's no better than orthentic irish setter
See this hat it was my cat
My evening wear vampire bat
These white slippers are albino african endanged rhino.

Grizzly bear underwear
Turtle's necks I've got my share
Brete of poodle on my noodle it shall rest
Try my red robin suit it comes one vest or two

See my vest, see my vest, see my vest!

Like my loafers, former gophers
it what that who's skin I shofered
But a greyhound furr tuxedo would be best!

So lets prepare these dogs!

(Mrs Potts-type maid): Kill two for matching clogs!

Burns: See my vest! See my vest! Oh please wont you see my veeeeeeeeeeeest!

Burns: I really like the vest!
Smithers: I gathered sir.

:rolly2::twirl::laugh:

 

[nic]

I love that song!
----------------------------------------------------------------

From the episode when the school kids are forced to wear grey uniforms:

It starts to rain and the colours start to wash out of their clothes.
All the kids go hyper and mad again at the sight or seeing colours.

Skinner: "I don't understand! I get them from the same place I get all mother's.... oh lord! Mothers in the park!!!"

(Skinner runs off)

Charmers: "Now this I gotta see!"

(Charmers runs off after Skinner!)

 

[nic]

(Marge attempts to kill Becky in the icecream palor)

Some waiters try to stop her.
Marge: "Out of my way! I've got jimmies!"
She then throws them little sweets at them, blinding them!


The police then arrest her.

Marge: "I thought you said the police were powerless to help me?"
Wiggum: "Yeah help not punish!"


Marge: "I know where you live Becky!!!! My house!!!"

 

[Morrigan]

From that same eppy..

marge is saying something (I forget what offhand) but it ends in You..

"You...surper! Usurper!" I just found that funny.

Oh, and after Marge threw the sprinkles, they Parlor guy says, "All I see is is a horrible rainbow!"

I always loved this Abe Simpsons quote: Now my story starts in nineteen-dickety-two. We had to say 'dickety' because the Kaiser stole our word twenty."

 

[nic]

yeah Abe Simpson is the best.

The family will be talking, then Abe will interupt saying:

Abe "...then I realised I could make money selling my medication to dead heads."

The family will stare at him for a moment, then continue with what they were saying as if Grandpa said nothing!

Poor Abe

 

[nic]

This one is from the episode where Bart swaps Santa's Little Helper for "Laddie"

Milhouse: "Remember when your dog ate my goldfish, but you said I never had any goldfish? Then why did I have the bowl Bart? Why did I have the bowl???"

:laugh::laugh2:

 

[prince vegeta]

marge: isn't sitting that close bad for your eyes?
homer: i'll be bad for you if you don't be quite.

 

[nic]

From when Homer is trying to find his soul mate (after he ate them crazy chillies!)

Homer: "Oh Marge you do understand me! In your face space coyote!"

Marge: "Space coyote?"

 

[Pandæmonium]

(The LOFT Epp ripp off)

(Nelson is beating up Millhouse in a cage)

Lisa: OBJECTION! He's not asking any questions!

Bart: Hmm....I'm gonna allow this

(Nelson continues to beat him up)

Nelson: YOU ATE THE FOOD....

 

[mordy]

Homer : Press any key , wheres the any key?

thats my favorite alltime quote