Simpsons Quotes Thread!

[Morrigan]

Originally posted by nic
Milhouse: "Remember when your dog ate my goldfish, but you said I never had any goldfish? Then why did I have the bowl Bart? Why did I have the bowl???"

That was going to be the quote I had in my senior yearbook, but the idiots put the old quote I wanted in. :'(

Several friends of mine and I were all going to have Simpsons quotes in the yearbook, followed by "... purple monkey dishwasher."

We probally would have been the only seniors who knew what it meant

Anyhoo--- "Purple monkey dishawasher" and "Bury me at Makeout Creek" are my quotes for the day

 

[Morrigan]

Originally posted by mordy
Homer : Press any key , wheres the any key?

"Hmm, I think I'll have a Tab <presses tab key>"

Computer humor. Sweet

 

[mordy]

Grandpa Simpson : Matlock!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[nic]

Marge: "Maybe I am crazy? I mean, I am sitting here talking to myself."

Hans Moleman: "You are? oh, I thought I'd found a friend."

 

[Morrigan]

Originally posted by mordy
Grandpa Simpson : Matlock!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHH! When my brother and I went to go see LotR, we were talking about the Simpsons, and we tried to think of all the MATLOCK!!!!'s Abe has said.

My fave was when Mayor Quimby wanted to build that new freeway/expressway (I forgot which it was), and he needed the old folks' vote. He decided to name it the Matlock Express/Freeway, and it was approved.

 

[nic]

I had no idea who Matlock was untill he guest appeared on Diagnosis Murder the other day

(Taken from the episode when Homer starts teaching a marriage course)

Homer: "Look Marge! I've put tweed patches on my leather jacket."

Marge: "Thats LEATHER patches on a TWEED jacket! Homer you've ruined a perfectly good jacket!"

Homer: "no Marge, TWO jackets!"

 

[Morrigan]

Heh, he put tweed patches on his bomber jacket.

I wanna know why Homer had BOTH a tweed and a leather jacket.

And you didn't know who Matlock was? Why, he was Andy Griffith, all old and wrinkly!

Ooh, reminds me of a quote:

"Whew, we finally scrubbed that old man smell out of the house"
from the ep where Burns goes to the Mayo Clinic and the Simpsons watch over his mansion

 

[Morrigan]

Hey, I don't think anyone said this (if they did, I appologise for ripping you off)..

H~ "Lisa! Stop that racket!"
L~ "But dad! I'm practicing!"
H~ "I'll practice you..."
L~ "'I'll pratice you?' Is that supposed to be some kind of threat?"

I think that is the one where Lisa meets Bleeding Gums Murphy, but I'm not positive.

 

[nic]

Originally posted by Morrigan
I think that is the one where Lisa meets Bleeding Gums Murphy, but I'm not positive.

It's from the episode when Bart throws Lisa's sax out the window.
It gets ran over and totally crushed.
Homer tells Lisa the story of how she got her sax/ and Barts first day of school.

Maybe my friends are right, I DO watch too much Simpsons!

 

[nic]

Another Homer/Abe moment:

Homer: "Oh Dad! You and your stories! Bart broke my teeth, the nurses are stealing my money, this thing on my neck is getting bigger..."

------------------
Marge: "....Bart needs to be punished!"

Homer: "Alright alright! Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours'"

Grandpa: "Oh this is going to be sweet!"

 

[Gater]

my favourite is the Isotopes vs the shelbyville whoevers- (sorry can't remember) baseball game.

Homers sits there singing "Nacho, nacho man, i want to be a nacho man" as he eats his Nacho hat.

 

[Morrigan]

Originally posted by nic
Maybe my friends are right, I DO watch too much Simpsons!

Pfft, impossible! You couldn't even watch too much Simpsons is if you had 3 tvs running simulataneously, on 3 diff 24 hour Simpsons stations.

Man, that would be sweet

This one isn't a "normal" (Simpsons, normal?) quote, but it is still funny:

Lisa: "Merry Christmas, from the Simpsons <hawing like a camel>!"

From the Simpsons Christmas special where the kids were snowed in at school with Skinner.

 

[nic]

A group of rhinos charge towards Homer and the kids.

Homer: "I know what to do! JUMANGII!!!!"

The rhinos still charge towards them, so the simpsons start running away.

Homer: "Does NOTHING from the movies work!"

 

[Morrigan]

LOL!

I can't quote it, but the one where Marge gets road rage with her Canyonero and has to save the family.

It goes on all about NBC and Dateline and how NBC is sooooo much better than FOX.

It was funny, but I just wish I remembered what they all said.

 

[nic]

---Halloween Special number..... lord knows! They've made a few---
Lucy Lawless: "Come on, let's get you kids home."

LL picks up Bart and Lisa and fly into the air.

Lisa: "But Xena can't fly"

LL: "I've told you I'm not Xena, I'm Lucy Lawless!"

Lisa: "Oh"

 

[nic]

--- From the one when Homer gets done for sexual harrasment---

Sally Jessy Rapheal (on Homer's tv): "That's ok. Your tears say more than real evidence ever could!"

 

[nic]

Mr Burns: "And that's the queen bee over there. I call her Smithers."

 

[nic]

(When "Shary Bobbins" comes to look after the Simpson...)

Marge: "Her butt waxed the banister!"

************

Everyone: "Bye Shary Bobbins!"
Barney: "Bye Superman!"

**************

Willie: "Aye. Me and Shary Bobbins were going to be web back in the old country. But then she got her eyesight back."

Shary: "It's good to see you Willie."

Willie: "That's not what you said the first time you saw me!"

******************

 

[Chopstix]

CBG: yes, could you sign this to :insert CBG's name: and two more to friends also of the same name.

From the George bush episode - on seeing Santas little helper run after Bush
Homer: you could say he's barking up the wrong bush!
Homer's brain: there you go Homer, the cleverest thing you'll ever say and nobody heard it.

(something like that)

 

[nic]

Homer is making Ned a dating tape. He has Lisa helping him with the editting.

Homer: "... then we star wipe to..."
Lisa: "Dad, there are more wipes than just star wipe."
Homer: "Why have hamburger when you can have steak?!!"
Lisa (moans): "I'm taking my name off the credits."