Simpsons Quotes Thread!

[Chopstix]

Homer : I'm sorry Marge. I've failed you as a husband and provider.(walking upstairs) I'll understand if you want to sleep on the couch tonight.

 

[nic]

Ralph: "...and when the doctor said I didn't have worms anymore, that was the happiest day of my life."

Miss Hoover: "Thankyou Ralph. Very graphic."

 

[imported_Kath]

Homer: "Ooh...they have the internet on computers now..."

:laugh2: :laugh2:

 

[PrancingPony]

YAY!!!SIMPSONS!!!!!YAY!!!!

Ooooh!!!!

C here's a good 1:

(sos if it s bin done!)
Homer: D'oh!
Lisa:a deer!
Marge: A female deer!

+

Aust. teen in shop:"Bull frogs?! That's and odd name, I would have called 'em chuzzwazzers!"



marge, Lisa and other guy look @ Ozzie teen, miffed when...

Homer runs past shop window:"Mmmmmmmmmaaaaarrrrrggggge!"
Bart soon follows:"LLLIIIIIISSSSSA!"

 

[nic]

(From the same australian episode)

Homer: "So, give me one of those world famous large *beers* you go on about!"

(Austrailian Bartender lifts a huge can of Fosters beer onto bar.)

Homer: "Yeah. That's pretty big."

*******

Marge: "Can I have a coffee?"
Bar Tender: "Beer?"
Marge: "No, coffee."
Bar Tender: "Beer?"
Marge: "C - O- F - E..."
Bar Tender: "B -E -E -R..."

*******

 

[PrancingPony]

canwehaveapooldad?!!
canwehaveapooldad?!!
canwehaveapooldad?!!
canwehaveapooldad?!!
canwehaveapooldad?!!
canwehaveapooldad?!!
canwehaveapooldad?!!
canwehaveapooldad?!!
canwehaveapooldad?!!
canwehaveapooldad?!!
canwehaveapooldad?!!
canwehaveapooldad?!!
canwehaveapooldad?!!
canwehaveapooldad?!!
canwehaveapooldad?!!
canwehaveapooldad?!!
canwehaveapooldad?!!
canwehaveapooldad?!!
:rolly2: :rolly2: :rolly2: :rolly2:

 

[nic]

(X-file special)

Homer is running on a treadmill as his heart is monitored.

Mulder: "What's the point in this exercise Scully?"

Scully: "No reason. I just thought he could stand to lose a few pounds."

Mulder: "His jiggling is almost hypnotic"

Scully: "Yes. Like a lava lamp."

 

[rde]

Always remember: in the boudoir, the gourmand metamorphoses into the voluptuary.

 

[imported_Kath]

(Bart): That's a hitch-hiker, Homer.
(Homer): Ooh, let's pick him up!
(Marge): No! What if he's crazy?
(Homer): And what if he's not? Then we'd look like idiots.

******************

(Marge): Homer, is this the way you pictured married life?
(Homer): Yup, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.

******************

I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T, I mean S-M-A-R-T...

******************

(Homer): Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
(Lisa): No.
(Homer): Ham?
(Lisa): No!
(Homer): Pork chops?
(Lisa): Dad! Those all come from the same animal!
(Homer): Heh heh heh ... ooh ... yeah right, Lisa. A wonderful ... magical animal.

******************

(Marge): Now Homer, you're over-stimulated, lets get some beer into you, and then it's straight off to bed
(Homer): (Runs about frantically, flapping his arms) Woo-hoo! - beer beer beer, bed bed bed!



:laugh2: :flash: :laugh2: :flash: :laugh2: :flash:

 

[nic]

Can't remember if I already did this one, but I'll do it again....

Homer: "I want an award!"

Marge: "You already won an award. You won a grammy!"

Homer: "I mean an award that counts!"

(disclaimer scrolls along bottom of screen)

The views of Homer Simpson do not represent the views of the producers who do not concider the grammy an award at all.

 

[imported_Kath]

(Reporter): Don't you think it's dangerous to send civilians into space?
(Homer): I'll handle this...the only danger in space is if we land on the terrible Planet of the Apes...wait a minute...Statue of Liberty...that was our planet! You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!

 

[PrancingPony]

(Homer writes: 'I AM HOMER SIMPSON.' in huge letters to graffitti Burns' office in hope that he might remember his name)

Mr.Burns:*turns on light* Who the devil are you?

********************************************
LISA:" DAAAAAAD! Your hands stuck in the toaster!!!!!!"

*Bash,bash bash-toaster comes free*

HOMER:" Phew!"

Bart: ItS IN THERE AGAIN!!!!!

:laugh2: :laugh2: :laugh2: :laugh2: :laugh2: :laugh2:

 

[nic]

Rod and Tod bounce on Homer's trampoline.

Tod: "Each leap brings us closer to god!"
Rod: "Catch me Lord! Catch Me!"

Rod and Tod smack into each other and fall to the earth in a heap.

Rod: "What did we do to anger God so?"
Tod: "You did it!"

 

[tokyogirl]

Ralph: What's a battle?

Ralph: ... and when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life.
Mrs. Hoover: Thank you, Ralph, very graphic.

ralph: The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there

ralph: Me fail English? That's unpossible

ralph: When I grow up, I'm going to bovine university

 

[nic]

Ahhh ralph is the best Tokyogirl! Thanx for the quotes
-------------

Homer is teaching a marriage course

Homer: "The structure of a good marriage is alot like an orange. First you have the outer layer, then you've got the sweet sweeeeet...."

(Homer starts to eat the orange)

Student: If I wanted to see a man eat an orange I would have taken the orange eating class!"

(Across in the orange eating class...)

Hans Moleman: "The eating of an orange is a lot like a good marriage..."

 

[tokyogirl]

i love ralph! he's my favorite!

 

[Splash_Dolphin]

Barta and some other kids are singing 'Bingo' with actions at preschool.
Teacher (whilst watching at bart): Added extra clap,not college material.

 

[tokyogirl]

hehehe! gotta love those permanant records:rolly2:

 

[Morrigan]

"... a tendancy for know-it-allism."
"Know-it-allism isn't even a word!"

Speaking of permanent records.

 

[tokyogirl]

:rolly2:

chief wiggim:Okay,folks, show’s over. Nothing to see here, show’s … Oh my god! A horribleplane crash! Hey, everybody, get a load of this flaming wreckage! Come on, crowd around, crowd around! Don’t be shy, crowd around!

chief wiggim:Fat Tony is the cancer on this fair city. He is the cancer and I am the … uh …what cures cancer?

chief wiggim:See ya in court, Simpson. Oh, and bring that evidence with ya, otherwise, I got no case and you’ll go scot-free.

Wiggum: Hey, where is Sideshow Bob and that guy that guy who eats people and takes their faces?
Normal-looking prisoner: I’m right here, Chief.
Wiggum: Oh. Then where’s Sideshow Bob?
Another prisoner: Oh, he ran off.
Wiggum: Oh, great. Well … if anyone asks, I beat him to death, okay?

Bart: Take him away, boys.
Wiggum: Hey, I'm the chief here! Bake him away, toys!
Lou: What'd you say, Chief?
Wiggum: Do what the kid says.

and last but not least
Burns: Officer, arrest the baby!
Wiggum: Ha. Yeah right, pops. No jury's gonna convict a baby. Uhm, maybe Texas.
woohoo! go texas! yeah! i mean....