Creative rhyming

[Urlik]

what are the chances? will they just blunder?
onwards, ever onwards with no thought to halting

 

[chrispenycate]

Of those that have half a leagued too far, no faulting
The cannons, nor enemies, cannot distract them

 

[Interference]

(reak? is that "wreak" or "reek"?)

Could be. Could be .... (I think I meant "reek", but either sort-of works )

Except for Lance Corporal Ernie Hackathum

Who forgot his spare shorts, though he's certain he had packed 'em

Perhaps, he now thinks, in the wrong case, at that; when

Poor Ern didn't spot all the baddies that hacked at him

 

[Moonbat]

in fact Jim hacked so much that fat became thin
And poor Ern wasn't rotund to begin with

 

[chrispenycate]

Was nothing in Earnest, not a tooth he could grin with?
His corporal stance shows concave intestinal

 

[Urlik]

a condition both rare and somewhat original
in medical history he's now made his name

 

[chrispenycate]

"The Hackathum gut"; not desired claim to fame
Nor , gastricically, a much desired situation

 

[Interference]

Unless, I guess, flatulance is your infatuation

And after all, Mr Bassett, it takes all sorts

 

[chrispenycate]

And drink liquorish spirits, with all that imports
With absinthe attempting to be Pétomane

 

[Interference]

Delicately tiptoing through ain, ann or awn

Re-order as you must or moost for le pronunciation juste

 

[chrispenycate]

It's "Ahn", as in "maniac", as you've deduced
A performer oft hoisted by his own petard.

 

[Zubi-Ondo]

Blown to smithereens, all across the yard

Oh well, I guess'll have to enjoy the yardbirds

 

[Moonbat]

Clapton could always play the hard thirds,
the easy fourths and the minor ninths

 

[Zubi-Ondo]

And sthpill prfthorrm aafthfter ee's aad a ffvvew Pinthffs.

And Speaking of Rock and Roll Bands who Drink...

 

[chrispenycate]

What, musicians and and alcohol? How could you think
That intoxicant liquor sullied innocent lips?

 

[Zubi-Ondo]

They tell me it eases the gyrating of hips

on stage. It works at first, and then the jerks

have to go to AA. Which I guess is okay

given that they often sound better Sob're.

 

[chrispenycate]

And the groupie who's waiting for him to disrobe 'er
Prefers his performance when he's somewhat less

 

[Moonbat]

than a total mess, unable to undress
and confessing to situations illegal

 

[Zubi-Ondo]

Besides that his flagpole stands quite regal

The star performs well and goes out with a bang

 

[chrispenycate]

The flag swang where it hang, limp as boomerang
and he rang for meringue, feeling suddenly peckish.