Good.
We are beginning to find excuses for breaking our own rules. What nationality is Arwen, you mention Afghanistan but I assumed she wasn't a female taliban fighter.
I had an idea (another one) for a quick tale, it is only the start, but I like short ones, I have others to extend, I may add a partner scene in engineering. It isn't finished but I didn't want Chris to think he was doing all the work.
Ryszard Dubaj is my comms guy (required for the tale) he is Polish. His name Ryszard is pronounced Rishard (almost like a posh french Richard)
****************
Spam-A-Lot
A bright duplicitous flash, a resounding thunderous boom and the Heinlein was there.
Initially the sensation of being turned inside out twice felt life threatening, but after several times people could acclimatize to it, some like fighter pilots, could still react and respond effectively. Commander Ryszard Dubaj had once been a fighter pilot before being trained in communications by the European Union.
As Ryszard pulled through the sheave he kept watch over his panel, he would be asked almost immediately for signs of communication and was required by tactical to open channels on all known frequencies. His panel lit up before the echo had faded, and he pushed himself to respond quickly, incoming communications on all known frequencies, jamming up the bandwidth almost immediately. Ryszard almost opened more channels but decided to check the stuff he was getting. He began sifting through the noise.
“What’s that blinking? I see a red light!” Captain Slak was still in his seat massaging his temples, his eyes peeking out from behind his hands. Still not looking up at the light he asked the question again.
“What is that blinking? You know how I feel about red lights?”
Tania leapt out of her seat and moved over to the panel in question. She knew it was the communications panel but Tania was also aware that Ryszard has been in full concentration from the moment they came through. He hadn’t answered the captain on the first request because he was busy, now after a second request and only a flicker of irritation from Ryszard Tania decided to act.
“It’s an incoming communication sir.” Tania addressed the captain directly.
“Well what is it?”
“It’s an email Sir….”
“Come On”
“…it seems to be an advert for rectal Oh damn it! Pop ups.”
“Rectal what? And what’s wrong with commander Dubaj?”
Tania and the Captain both looked over at Ryszard, he was working furiously his arms moving all over his main control panel. Tania sensed something was wrong, Ryszard sensed the eyes of his two commanding officers on his back. He turned for a second and made eye contact but only managed to say.
“Prob-up Poplems Bad width senile dervices”
“Dammit man, that’s gobbledygook. What problems? What is that blinking red light?” The Captain’s voice has risen to a shout, but his communications officer just carried on working away at his panel, eventually the Captain gave up and moved over to the communications panel.
“It’s just an incoming comms sir, we’ve got thousands of them. I wouldn’t worry about it, it’s probably just some advert.” Ryszard spoke out loud but didn’t face his Captain.
“Thousands? Have you got any sound? Any video? Why aren’t you patching me through?” the Captain had walked back to his seat and postured himself preparing to take a message on screen.
“Sir there are too many at the moment, they all look like adverts, or worse. I’m struggling just to keep our memory clear and our bandwidth open. I don’t understand it, but I wouldn’t advise putting any on screen just yet, let us sort through them first. When they stop piling in.” Ryszard answered his captain and turned back to his screen. He screamed.
“Dagnammit”
Just turning away for a second had left his screen cluttered again and several more active ports open and clogged. Tania moved over to assist him on the second bank of communications panels and together they made a brief bit of progress.
Captain Slak wasn’t listening though, he wanted to take a call, he used his personal panel to open up a line and receive some communication. He patched the first full video and sound onto the main viewer.
“Here you are let’s see what all the fuss is”
Ryszard briefly looked up from his panel to glance at the screen at the captain’s first message was brought up.
“No! Captain!”
Suddenly the main speakers began blurting insanely fast radio commercials; a jumble of bright voices, rousing music, sales pitches, numbers, places, times. The screen brought up thousands of individual video broadcasts, most of them pornographic in nature, all advertising some goods or services. The adverts were competing for screen space; fluctuating in patterns that lead to moments of single ads, or two split screen, before they split into eight, then quickly into sixty four, then more than the Captain could count. It would all be broken by another ad slamming into the middle of the screen covering the others, pasting over them like old newspapers on a wall, the old ads still whirring away behind the new one.
“Oh, whoops. Ok get rid of it” Captain Slak went red at the images of sex on the screen and sunk back into his chair feeling stupid.
“I’m trying sir, but more fill it before I can close them” Tania replied, the strain on her usually placid features was more of a shock to the Captain than the graphic images that were still showing on the main viewer.
“Just cut the line Tania”
“I’ve tried Ryszard, it’s not letting me close the port”
“What number?”
“6EchoAlpha” Tania had to stop, her fingers were beginning to get sore, she looked round at Ryszard; the comms officer hadn’t let up since they arrived he had been working hard on his panel to keep things going.
Ryszard momentarily stopped archiving the incoming communications and clearing the virtual memory, so that he could close Tania’s port, it took him three seconds longer than it should and in that time his virtual memory was full. He tried to perform a five key crash memory dump but his keyboard was already slowed by the number of pop-up option boxes that he had also momentarily stopped clearing, it didn’t work and within seconds his entire panel locked him out in a non-response circle.
He tried desperately to get some response but every action he performed to remove a message was filled by five more before he could perform another. He needed help from Albus so he moved over to his secondary panel. It was partially blocked but most of it was still inactive, he powered up the panel controlling the internal communications channel and instantly regretted it. The rouge radio communications were patched all through the ship, as were the video; all screens on the entire ship were filled with the same crude advertisements as the main screen.
Ryszard sat back from both panels, staring wide-eyed at the flickering images, all jostling to get on moment of his time. He turned to the Captain.
“Captain we have a serious breach.”
“I noticed”
“We’re being bombarded by thousands, millions of advertisements, mails, messages, videos.”
“Well why can’t you filter them out?”
“It’s different sir, these aren’t passive broadcasts, they are being aimed directly at us, at our open ports our bandwidth, and something has opened more, it started the moment we came through. At this rate it’s only a matter of time before the entire ship’s computer is over run by them.”
“Ok, well get the message to Engineering. Tania, let the Engineers’ know we have a threat.”
“I can’t sir, the communications are down, internal and external, all the speakers all over the ship are just playing these ads now.”
Ryszard jumped out of his seat.
“I better get down there. Sir”
“Ok, go quickly. Tania can you turn these screens off, or the volume down?”
“I’m on it Sir”
“Oi, Watch out!”
Ryszard was sliding down the ladder in the access tube that linked the different floors of the Heinlein, below him Albus Stegg was racing up the ladder when the Ryszard’s boots got too close to his head too quickly for his liking.
“Oh, coming, down”
“Going Up. Come on Dubaj, move I’m on my way to the bridge”
“Sorry Stegg, but I’m on my way to Engineering, orders of the Captain.”
“What’s going on up there?”
“We’re being bombarded by incoming communications, come on move I’ve got to get down to Engineering and let Dr Lagenbright know before the Heinlein gets into real danger.”
“We’re already in real danger I’m on my way to the bridge to tell the captain to close all ports and put us under red alert. Did you know the speakers are blaring out radio adverts?”
“No I’m deaf! Yes I know. The Heinlein is already in danger?
“Ye….”
Suddenly the Heinlein faltered in the sky. It listed to the side throwing Albus and Ryszard about in the small access tube that ran through the ship.
****************
We are beginning to find excuses for breaking our own rules. What nationality is Arwen, you mention Afghanistan but I assumed she wasn't a female taliban fighter.
I had an idea (another one) for a quick tale, it is only the start, but I like short ones, I have others to extend, I may add a partner scene in engineering. It isn't finished but I didn't want Chris to think he was doing all the work.
Ryszard Dubaj is my comms guy (required for the tale) he is Polish. His name Ryszard is pronounced Rishard (almost like a posh french Richard)
****************
Spam-A-Lot
A bright duplicitous flash, a resounding thunderous boom and the Heinlein was there.
Initially the sensation of being turned inside out twice felt life threatening, but after several times people could acclimatize to it, some like fighter pilots, could still react and respond effectively. Commander Ryszard Dubaj had once been a fighter pilot before being trained in communications by the European Union.
As Ryszard pulled through the sheave he kept watch over his panel, he would be asked almost immediately for signs of communication and was required by tactical to open channels on all known frequencies. His panel lit up before the echo had faded, and he pushed himself to respond quickly, incoming communications on all known frequencies, jamming up the bandwidth almost immediately. Ryszard almost opened more channels but decided to check the stuff he was getting. He began sifting through the noise.
“What’s that blinking? I see a red light!” Captain Slak was still in his seat massaging his temples, his eyes peeking out from behind his hands. Still not looking up at the light he asked the question again.
“What is that blinking? You know how I feel about red lights?”
Tania leapt out of her seat and moved over to the panel in question. She knew it was the communications panel but Tania was also aware that Ryszard has been in full concentration from the moment they came through. He hadn’t answered the captain on the first request because he was busy, now after a second request and only a flicker of irritation from Ryszard Tania decided to act.
“It’s an incoming communication sir.” Tania addressed the captain directly.
“Well what is it?”
“It’s an email Sir….”
“Come On”
“…it seems to be an advert for rectal Oh damn it! Pop ups.”
“Rectal what? And what’s wrong with commander Dubaj?”
Tania and the Captain both looked over at Ryszard, he was working furiously his arms moving all over his main control panel. Tania sensed something was wrong, Ryszard sensed the eyes of his two commanding officers on his back. He turned for a second and made eye contact but only managed to say.
“Prob-up Poplems Bad width senile dervices”
“Dammit man, that’s gobbledygook. What problems? What is that blinking red light?” The Captain’s voice has risen to a shout, but his communications officer just carried on working away at his panel, eventually the Captain gave up and moved over to the communications panel.
“It’s just an incoming comms sir, we’ve got thousands of them. I wouldn’t worry about it, it’s probably just some advert.” Ryszard spoke out loud but didn’t face his Captain.
“Thousands? Have you got any sound? Any video? Why aren’t you patching me through?” the Captain had walked back to his seat and postured himself preparing to take a message on screen.
“Sir there are too many at the moment, they all look like adverts, or worse. I’m struggling just to keep our memory clear and our bandwidth open. I don’t understand it, but I wouldn’t advise putting any on screen just yet, let us sort through them first. When they stop piling in.” Ryszard answered his captain and turned back to his screen. He screamed.
“Dagnammit”
Just turning away for a second had left his screen cluttered again and several more active ports open and clogged. Tania moved over to assist him on the second bank of communications panels and together they made a brief bit of progress.
Captain Slak wasn’t listening though, he wanted to take a call, he used his personal panel to open up a line and receive some communication. He patched the first full video and sound onto the main viewer.
“Here you are let’s see what all the fuss is”
Ryszard briefly looked up from his panel to glance at the screen at the captain’s first message was brought up.
“No! Captain!”
Suddenly the main speakers began blurting insanely fast radio commercials; a jumble of bright voices, rousing music, sales pitches, numbers, places, times. The screen brought up thousands of individual video broadcasts, most of them pornographic in nature, all advertising some goods or services. The adverts were competing for screen space; fluctuating in patterns that lead to moments of single ads, or two split screen, before they split into eight, then quickly into sixty four, then more than the Captain could count. It would all be broken by another ad slamming into the middle of the screen covering the others, pasting over them like old newspapers on a wall, the old ads still whirring away behind the new one.
“Oh, whoops. Ok get rid of it” Captain Slak went red at the images of sex on the screen and sunk back into his chair feeling stupid.
“I’m trying sir, but more fill it before I can close them” Tania replied, the strain on her usually placid features was more of a shock to the Captain than the graphic images that were still showing on the main viewer.
“Just cut the line Tania”
“I’ve tried Ryszard, it’s not letting me close the port”
“What number?”
“6EchoAlpha” Tania had to stop, her fingers were beginning to get sore, she looked round at Ryszard; the comms officer hadn’t let up since they arrived he had been working hard on his panel to keep things going.
Ryszard momentarily stopped archiving the incoming communications and clearing the virtual memory, so that he could close Tania’s port, it took him three seconds longer than it should and in that time his virtual memory was full. He tried to perform a five key crash memory dump but his keyboard was already slowed by the number of pop-up option boxes that he had also momentarily stopped clearing, it didn’t work and within seconds his entire panel locked him out in a non-response circle.
He tried desperately to get some response but every action he performed to remove a message was filled by five more before he could perform another. He needed help from Albus so he moved over to his secondary panel. It was partially blocked but most of it was still inactive, he powered up the panel controlling the internal communications channel and instantly regretted it. The rouge radio communications were patched all through the ship, as were the video; all screens on the entire ship were filled with the same crude advertisements as the main screen.
Ryszard sat back from both panels, staring wide-eyed at the flickering images, all jostling to get on moment of his time. He turned to the Captain.
“Captain we have a serious breach.”
“I noticed”
“We’re being bombarded by thousands, millions of advertisements, mails, messages, videos.”
“Well why can’t you filter them out?”
“It’s different sir, these aren’t passive broadcasts, they are being aimed directly at us, at our open ports our bandwidth, and something has opened more, it started the moment we came through. At this rate it’s only a matter of time before the entire ship’s computer is over run by them.”
“Ok, well get the message to Engineering. Tania, let the Engineers’ know we have a threat.”
“I can’t sir, the communications are down, internal and external, all the speakers all over the ship are just playing these ads now.”
Ryszard jumped out of his seat.
“I better get down there. Sir”
“Ok, go quickly. Tania can you turn these screens off, or the volume down?”
“I’m on it Sir”
*****
“Oi, Watch out!”
Ryszard was sliding down the ladder in the access tube that linked the different floors of the Heinlein, below him Albus Stegg was racing up the ladder when the Ryszard’s boots got too close to his head too quickly for his liking.
“Oh, coming, down”
“Going Up. Come on Dubaj, move I’m on my way to the bridge”
“Sorry Stegg, but I’m on my way to Engineering, orders of the Captain.”
“What’s going on up there?”
“We’re being bombarded by incoming communications, come on move I’ve got to get down to Engineering and let Dr Lagenbright know before the Heinlein gets into real danger.”
“We’re already in real danger I’m on my way to the bridge to tell the captain to close all ports and put us under red alert. Did you know the speakers are blaring out radio adverts?”
“No I’m deaf! Yes I know. The Heinlein is already in danger?
“Ye….”
Suddenly the Heinlein faltered in the sky. It listed to the side throwing Albus and Ryszard about in the small access tube that ran through the ship.
****************
