Discussing the Writing Challenges -- November and December 2010

[J Riff]

But the stories this month - were indeed exceptional. Nobody is posting their alternate versions, I see... so I have taken Mouse's story -which bugged me - and which I almost voted for, and added my reactions while reading it.
ouch
Dragons were coming, lighting the world on fire and destroying everything in their path.
Hurray! This will be good. (goes and makes popcorn and coffee, sits back down) My kind of story! How can this not be great! Dragons, world on fire, destroying everything! Go, go!)
In her bed, Taniela lay dying. (Ohhhh... dear.* Well, the Dragons are coming, hang on Tan!)
She had called them and it had taken all her strength. (But they are comin' like gangbusters!)
She thought things would be different.(Nooo... things are fine. The Dragons are coming! Just wait and see!)
She thought...(something so awful that it can only be suggested, there are no words for how awful...)
A tear ran down her cheek. (ohh Noooo!) Everybody would suffer (everyone! Suffer! Pain!) and it was all her fault. (Can it get worse? Everyone suffers- all her fault.)
Across the room, in his crib, lay her son.( a late arrival, with no time left for character development. Dragons...?)
More than anything, she wished she could hold him one last time.
(But she can't, because he's radioactive, and that's why she's dying?)
Meanwhile, back in ravaging Dragonville....
The End.
So beautiful. Of course, we know what happens next- the Dragons arrive, Taniela has expired, the Dragons take the child and raise him as one of their own. He learns to breathe fire through his nose, and how to rampage effectively across the coutryside.

Other great stories got no votes, either.

 

[Teresa Edgerton]

The publishing industry is already collapsing. The mid-list has all but expired, books that have been contracted for are being dropped along with their authors, bookstores are disappearing ...

but the 75 Word Challenge rolls right along, thank goodness.

I frequently have a spare story that I didn't use, as some may remember from previous months, but what with one thing and another, it was all I could do to produce one.

Maybe we do have some rejected efforts for November, but everyone is too shy to go first.

 

[Karn Maeshalanadae]

Hehe. I never have an alternative story myself. I tend to be a little too impulsive with my writing to truly think things through in such a manner.


Which is still to say I was very surprised when I won November, I honestly thought it was going to go to Hoopy for a second time. Mine pulled its lead votes right near the finish gate, I think.


And I'm eagerly awaiting to see what's going on this month. I think we'll have all sorts of styles.

 

[Chel]

I had a spare idea and even wrote a few words. It was so unremarkable (in my opinion) that I didn't even finish it properly. I'm not even sure I saved it! ...but I'll have a look.

*a few minutes later*
Ta-daa!

***

Untitled

Sharia stomped home through the drizzle, cold after waiting in the alley half the night. Rebellion, huh, why should she anyway! She wasn't a threat to the demon king, he'd never notice her. She'd just serve him quietly and stay safe.

But inside her dark room, an even darker shadow was waiting for her.

“So, you will be our new spy,” he said.

***

I felt this story lacked what I was trying to convey, so I left it unpolished and unfiddled with and instead wrote and posted Casualties of War.

 

[J Riff]

That's swell, Chel.

Karn's story was easily the most ludicrous of a funny batch ..."where are my shoes?" I snorted with great amusement at the time as I recall, and woulda voted for it if not for later works of equal or greater genius.

My own shaggyDoggy story was 6 words under, so I thought of adding:
"An ARFUL fate for CURsed humankind..."
Which, no doubt, would have garnered even more non-votes.

 

[nixie]

Some good entry's so far and 3 are really standing out so far

 

[Ursa major]

Amazingly (given last month's travails), I've already thought of an idea; which means that I need to mull it over: one should look a gift horse in the mouth. (And while the basic story could probably be written in under twenty words**, my attempt to expand it shot well past the 75.***)





** - An estimate made just before I fell asleep last night, so it may be somewhat lacking in accuracy.

*** - Also attempted just before I fell asleep last night (no paper or writing involved ).

 

[mosaix]

A minor point, shouldn't the title of this thread have changed by now?

 

[Mouse]

But the stories this month - were indeed exceptional. Nobody is posting their alternate versions, I see... so I have taken Mouse's story -which bugged me - and which I almost voted for, and added my reactions while reading it.
ouch
Dragons were coming, lighting the world on fire and destroying everything in their path.
Hurray! This will be good. (goes and makes popcorn and coffee, sits back down) My kind of story! How can this not be great! Dragons, world on fire, destroying everything! Go, go!)
In her bed, Taniela lay dying. (Ohhhh... dear.* Well, the Dragons are coming, hang on Tan!)
She had called them and it had taken all her strength. (But they are comin' like gangbusters!)
She thought things would be different.(Nooo... things are fine. The Dragons are coming! Just wait and see!)
She thought...(something so awful that it can only be suggested, there are no words for how awful...)
A tear ran down her cheek. (ohh Noooo!) Everybody would suffer (everyone! Suffer! Pain!) and it was all her fault. (Can it get worse? Everyone suffers- all her fault.)
Across the room, in his crib, lay her son.( a late arrival, with no time left for character development. Dragons...?)
More than anything, she wished she could hold him one last time.
(But she can't, because he's radioactive, and that's why she's dying?)
Meanwhile, back in ravaging Dragonville....
The End.
So beautiful. Of course, we know what happens next- the Dragons arrive, Taniela has expired, the Dragons take the child and raise him as one of their own. He learns to breathe fire through his nose, and how to rampage effectively across the coutryside.

Other great stories got no votes, either.

Awesome.

 

[Perpetual Man]

Well this month seems to be off to an excellent start, it's going to be a hard call when it comes to voting again!

As for myself, I've been playing with a few ideas, and have a couple I'm quite happy with, which means I've got no idea which one to go with. I've run them by Mrs Perp. and she liked all of them, which is no help - except for the one that she said was almost too painful to hear, and she did not like it at all. Which to be honest was the action I was hoping for...

 

[Ursa major]

...except for the one that she said was almost too painful to hear, and she did not like it at all. Which to be honest was the action I was hoping for...

Sounds like you have a winner there, PM.

 

[nixie]

A minor point, shouldn't the title of this thread have changed by now?

Your wish has been granted....

 

[Perpetual Man]

Sounds like you have a winner there, PM.

Hmmm here am I looking for a pun

The worse thing, I think when you have a couple of stories to choose from is the fear that if you go for one, it get's no votes or comments, and then you up another one showing what else you had and everyone says - oh that was so much better!!!

 

[Ursa major]

No pun intended, PM.


As regards my own entry: so much for examining equine dentistry. But at least it's done.

Now for three weeks of self-doubt....

 

[Perpetual Man]

Hmmm Ursa, that's a superb one there - you're just joining that unruly band who make it harder and harder to select a single story.

(I think I have two favourites at the moment after one read each, so that might change after a few more perusals)

 

[Boneman]

Your wish has been granted....

Wow! Nixie, you can change Titles? I'd like a Knighthood, can you arrange it?

Well, I posted mine. I'd been kicking the idea around ever since that Bald Fat Singer with the Knighthood's song faded from my consciousness, and it came in 74 words on the first attempt. So I added eek an adjective...

 

[chrispenycate]

Well, since bending a bespectacled singer/pianist backwards over a grand piano, and doing an Aztec investigation as to whether he has a heart at all is only a fantasy in the minds of certain PA engineers (FOH and monitors), some musicians and a roadie or two, I only have two written, filed to length and awaiting better titles and a choice to be made.

 

[Ursa major]

I had to chuckle when I read paranoid marvin's story.


Nice one.

 

[paranoid marvin]

I had to chuckle when I read paranoid marvin's story.


Nice one.

Thanks.

I'm not usually one for humorous short stories (find it very hard to laugh at my own jokes, so hard to be self critical)

I DO like yours though ; it paints a vivid picture in my mind, which all good stories should.

 

[Perpetual Man]

Hmmm, decisions, decisions.

I was about to say I had five of my own to choose from, but Paranoid Marvin's is thematically similar - and far, far superior to what I was going to go with, so that means four. Realistically two to choose from.

(And the new entry from PM is yet another story to add to this other err PM's shortlist to choose from - although is it a shortlist if everyone is on it?)