Writing Challenge Discussion — MARCH 2011

[Teresa Edgerton]

Thank you, we prefer to cudgel our own. Then, too, once we bring the cudgels out, there is no guarantee that we won't decide to employ them elsewhere instead!

 

[cornelius]

I tried to enter, but then a database error happenend. Someone trying to throw out the competition?

 

[Teresa Edgerton]

A database error happens approximately every day at approximately the same time: between 7:45 and 8:00 am GMT. You shouldn't have a problem now.

 

[cornelius]

A database error happens approximately every day at approximately the same time: between 7:45 and 8:00 am GMT. You shouldn't have a problem now.

Thank you for the information. As short as the error was, I started writing on a second story and now I don't know which one to post.

 

[Teresa Edgerton]

Just so long as you don't decide to post the new one during the minute or so that the next error occurs ...

 

[Ursa major]

* Resists all temptation. *

Speaking of which....

Out of the blue, the idea for a story popped into my head this morning, Unfortunately, the setup is quite complex, so it'll take some time and effort to reduce the word count to 75. I just thought I'd mention this now because I don't want anyone to be shocked when they see the entry I'll be posting sometime in the next week or so: there will likely be no room for any puns or wordplay.


* Goes to lie down. *

 

[cornelius]

* Resists all temptation. *

Speaking of which....

Out of the blue, the idea for a story popped into my head this morning, Unfortunately, the setup is quite complex, so it'll take some time and effort to reduce the word count to 75. I just thought I'd mention this now because I don't want anyone to be shocked when they see the entry I'll be posting sometime in the next week or so: there will likely be no room for any puns or wordplay.


* Goes to lie down. *

I've tried a little play on words in my entry.

 

[Perpetual Man]

I'm not going to mention any at the moment, as am in the process of doing a Perp-Man-like review of each (which I may or may not publish - am only 3 stories in so it really depends on me actually finding time to do it).

Uh oh, suddenly reason I've not done this yet this month, so am well behind.

I've been feeling a bit tired, which is no excuse... so Stormfeather mentioning it has made me get my finger out and here are my comments for the first page of entries, hopefully I'll catch up in the next few days...

Stormfeather – First out of the blocks this month, and a very powerful entry, there is almost a palpable force in the piece. An excellent start to the month.

Perpetual Man – Absolute tosh, rubbish and a waste... uhh isn’t that me? Tried to do something a little different this month, not sure what anyone will think, but I’m sure everyone can see what I was trying to do...

Evelinn – Completely out of the blue this one, simply brilliant, different, quirky, well pt together and dare I say fun

Karn – This one was a strange one. Some pretty serious undertones, dark, but the feeling that there was so much more of it. Sometimes the feeling is that 75 words is just not enough.

TacticalLoco – An interesting story, that feels almost historic at the same time. It’s a good solid read well constructed and an otherwise excellent entry.

Onebigpotato – Another superb first entry, tragic and dark. It felt somehow real which makes it both sad and horrific.

Talysia – I really thought this was a wonderful tale, an underlying truth at how people don’t listen to what they do not want to hear, and the irony of how in trying to save the world, the protagonist actually saved herself.

Greenkidx – Ouch! This one almost hurt, giving into despair seeking only comfort and being rejected from that comfort for doing the one thing she could do to embrace it. Was hard for me to read.

Brev – I felt that this was something a bit different, could not really match the title with the tale, but that’s just me. I thought it was yet another excellent story, a warm feeling from the concluding lines.

Nixie – Somehow this dark little piece made me smile, a sequel to a popular children’s rhyme if I’m not mistaken.

Mouse – The vendetta against Snow White continues, but as always it well written, fun and worthy of a smile, even as you find your childhood love of a certain fairytale princess being eroded into base hatred.

Paranoid Marvin – I really like this one, a nice interpretation of this month’s theme, the man who refused to pass sentence receives his punishment.

Alchemist – Grim, heart rendering and sad. A great little tale, well told. It was not just the food that turned to ashes as I read the last line.

SleepyDormouse – Excellent. Made me chuckle out loud, excellent rhyming and very well constructed. The only thing that made me pause was, that as resident Master of the Chronicles Biscuit Barrel does that make me the ogre?

 

[Mouse]

Mouse – The vendetta against Snow White continues, but as always it well written, fun and worthy of a smile, even as you find your childhood love of a certain fairytale princess being eroded into base hatred.

Ta. That's better than what I've actually written!

 

[GreenKidx]

Perpetual I know one of the major goals of any work of art is to make someone feel something (Ursa behave! )... but pain? Humm... well, I'm sorry and thank you? Hahaha

 

[Perpetual Man]

Perpetual I know one of the major goals of any work of art is to make someone feel something (Ursa behave! )... but pain? Humm... well, I'm sorry and thank you? Hahaha

Just a personal thing, suicide and negative repercussions of such always get to me a bit. Didn't stop the story being another excellent one though

 

[Karn Maeshalanadae]

More of it, PM?


My entry this month was based rather heavily off the game Dante's Inferno and despite how it turned out I really just wanted to use the title more than anything; I figured the topic Mosaix came up with was the perfect opportunity.

 

[TheDustyZebra]

I just thought I'd mention this now because I don't want anyone to be shocked when they see the entry I'll be posting sometime in the next week or so: there will likely be no room for any puns or wordplay.


* Goes to lie down. *

Don't worry, Ursa, I believe Cornelius has enough in there for both of you!

Cornelius, that's horrible, simply horrible -- and I mean that in the nicest way!

 

[nixie]

Perpetual Man;



Perpetual Man – Absolute tosh, rubbish and a waste... uhh isn’t that me? Tried to do something a little different this month, not sure what anyone will think, but I’m sure everyone can see what I was trying to do...

Slap....

Nixie – Somehow this dark little piece made me smile, a sequel to a popular children’s rhyme if I’m not mistaken.

Pep, you've made my day. Anyway I always thought Tom got off too lightly

 

[Perpetual Man]

Phew managed to catch up with all my thoughts... (Might end up double posting here, to respond to s few other comments after... sorry)


Teresa – This was one of those I just liked. No particular reason I just liked the feel of it as it were, the way it read. I could almost see two punishments, for two crimes...

Gary Compton – Loved the theme running through this one, almost as though the prisoner could change things by killing Wilson, stop the killing by killing the killer... but of course that still makes him a killer... (if my meandering makes any sense there)

Arkose – Another newcomer! And another good first entry, I like the idea of seeing things from the dogs perspective, and then the shift at the end to the mans. A good idea, perhaps a line break though to separate the last sentences.

RoninJedi84 – A good story well told. Escaping execution by way of suicide, a terrible but almost realistic telling.

Lucky Lola – Another first timer! A cracking first attempt, some superb imagery and another great take on the theme.

HoopyFrood – A classic in every meaning of the word, mixing two myths (or a myth and history), giving a solid and great spin and new depth to Greek mythology

Precise Calibre – Grim, dark and excellent. I liked the arrogant superiority of the storyteller, could almost hear is sneer of contempt for those who would punish him. Hope he did not make it to Brazil.

TheDustyZebra – Quite a lot of these this month did not stick in my mind when I read them first – no fault of theirs – just me being out of sorts, this one did though, I just liked it, what a brilliant punishment, made even better by the criminal thinking he had got away with it!

Pyan – A great little story from Pyan, it seems that a lot of classics are being pulled in by the them this month. An excellent entry, well written and a look at the effect ones actions can have.

Allanon – There might have been more that Allanon wanted do with this, but as it was I finished the story with my legs crossed... I really liked the idea and (if you excuse the pun) execution of the story. Another different spin on the title, a horrendous punishment, but having not committed crime was the crime... very clever.

Digs – Another different take on the title, the punishment coming before the crime. An excellent twist, I think I might have missed the full intention of the story, but the way I interpreted it was both sad and harsh. Another scarily good entry

Cornelius – Very clever, and it rhymed too. Not sure whether it was off topic or not, there was most certainly a crime, and the threat of punishment was in the air, and most certainly there was crime and punishment in the story...

It's a bit too soon to start talking short lists but it's another excellent month so far, and I think I might have seen one or two that might make it onto mine. If I've missed anyone, sorry, let me know!

 

[Perpetual Man]

Ta. That's better than what I've actually written!

Thanks Mouse, I don't think so myself, there is something quite fun with your twisted fairy tales/Disney pieces, can't wait to see the forthcoming Snow White's revenge - you only thought I called you sawn off you little traitors, now where's that chainsaw?

More of it, PM?


My entry this month was based rather heavily off the game Dante's Inferno and despite how it turned out I really just wanted to use the title more than anything; I figured the topic Mosaix came up with was the perfect opportunity.

The game Dante's Inferno? Missed that then I just jumped straight to the poem, but I think that's what I was feeling, whatever the source of inspiration it gave it a depth that I could quite easily have seen more of. (If it was allowed). It does not mean I did not like it, or it detracted from it in anyway, I just could have read more of it.

Slap....

Ouch I did not see that coming. I think I'm just a little miffed with mine (I am pleased with it to a degree), but I posted it with the wrong title - it makes little difference but it did annoy me a bit - my clumsiness at doing it more than anything. And then I had another idea and I'm a little ratty that I did not wait longer before posting, cos I think I slightly prefer the new idea. That being said the aim this month was not to think, to do and post rather than have to choose.

Pep, you've made my day. Anyway I always thought Tom got off too lightly

My pleasure and I agree completely

 

[cornelius]

Don't worry, Ursa, I believe Cornelius has enough in there for both of you!

Cornelius, that's horrible, simply horrible -- and I mean that in the nicest way!

Eh... thank you?

And thanks to Perp for the kind words

 

[Brev]

Thanks Perp for the reviews, they always help me see the stories in a new light...including my own, any hint of 'a warm feeling' was entirely unintentional..

 

[TheDustyZebra]

Eh... thank you?

You're welcome! Oh, and it was definitely not off-topic to me -- topical, horrendously punny, and quite memorable. It's always scary when I realize that Ursa is contagious.

TheDustyZebra – Quite a lot of these this month did not stick in my mind when I read them first – no fault of theirs – just me being out of sorts, this one did though, I just liked it, what a brilliant punishment, made even better by the criminal thinking he had got away with it!

Thanks, PM! I had written off this month's entry as an epic fail, figuring that nobody understood it. My focus group of two had varying troubles with it, but that's not uncommon and usually not a story-killer. I really want to write it as a longer short story, though, because there is so much to the idea that I just can't fit into 75 words.

 

[cornelius]

You're welcome! Oh, and it was definitely not off-topic to me -- topical, horrendously punny, and quite memorable. It's always scary when I realize that Ursa is contagious.

Ursa was indeed a source of inspiration, along with Mouse and Brev. And to a lesser extent, Teresa Edgerton and Chrispenycate