Re: DISCUSSION the 75 Word Challenge JUNE 2011
RJM Corbet - Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, Looking at a world, taking for granted the things that you love, like food, the day to day mundane of existing torn apart and broken by a reminder of how lucky we are, that there are so many places that are in a lot worse state. An excellent tale, well constructed and a good rhythm.
TEIN - And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools: What a great little poem from TEIN, quite light hearted, yet still dark (well if you're a gastropod) Slugs built up, offered beer instead of veg and then brought down by the self same alcohol, while worn out tools dig them into the soil, creating a cycle so that the destroyers become fertilizer.
Nixie - If you can make one heap of all your winnings - Just So Stories territory, where sometimes making a heap of all your winnings, no matter how precious they seem to you, be it gold or meat, is not always enough. The offer of something simple and different, in this case an apple can be worth more than gold.
Boneman - And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, - to write a 75 word story and just submit it to be judged by your peers is much like this, especially when riffing on one of the greatest poems of all time, even more so when you tie it into the place that you are writing at, twisting it so much that the third, fourth and fifth walls are tumbling down.
Gary Compton - And lose, and start again at your beginnings - and so we get to this one, fun and frolics, with cakes and cars and panthers and bears. Oh my. Like all of us this month's challenge has left us lost, but Gary proves that you find the fun and entertainment in any situation, and if we all take a deep breath and start at the beginning we can come up with something as special.
Chris (The Instigator) - And never breathe a word about your loss; - In its own way this is talking about a final loss, a loss of life and turning it into something else in this case a meal, so you really would not want to breathe a word about it. The poem has a real voice all of its own, a dark humour, well constructed and a joy to read, just what I have come to expect from Chris. It also has dragons.
Obviously after I wrote this Chris’ entry was unfortunately removed, but I thought as I had already written the comment I’d leave it in. After all, it was an excellent entry – and he did start the whole thing!!
Anhalo – If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew to actually dare tackle something like this and do it in a way that is slighty reminiscent of Kiplings ‘If’, simple words that can make a better person if you are capable of following what seem like simple ‘rules’, that are easy to read and understand, but a lot harder to actually follow.
Highlander – To serve your turn long after they are gone, after all the entries this month and how hard it has been decried the longer you wait the harder it seems and yet people are still posting things like this - I’m not sure what to make of it, only that I thought it was a wonderful little piece that was full of a underplayed humour that left me smiling for quite a while after reading it. It also feels rather true as well. Excellent.
Pyan – And so hold on when there is nothing in you, keeping in touch with a very real and modern,
exotic and mundane at the same time. I very clever piece that feels so much bigger than the subject matter really is, from my point of view one of Kipling’s international, sub-continental poems in microcosm.
Oxman - Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!' to what you are or accept change that betters your life, much like the pelican does in this wonderful little tale from Oxman. I felt it caught the flavour of the Just So Stories and was an enjoyable original story in its own right. Just so.
mosaix - If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, or indeed talk to those less seemingly less worthy than oneself and treat them as an equal, like say a tiger to a worm then you are doing well, especially when you can never judge just what the other is capable of or knows. Like in this instance. When it is definitely the wriggly thing that has the last laugh.
Brev - ' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch, and here we have someone who is certainly walking with kings, masters of consumption, especially of the more fast foods of life, common foods if you will, written well with a good rhythm and a sterling humour.
Keri - if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, then you are probably lucky enough to have the love and support of a wonderful partner and that is something that is beautifully inscribed within the words of this wonderful little poem. The other thing that really struck me and was something that I had not thought about, is that it was so obviously written from the females perspective, but still felt like Kipling, to me at least.
Teresa - If all men count with you, but none too much; perhaps no single man should count more than any other until you look at them as the whole race in need of improving, of saving themselves, and then there is nothing that should be too much, like dealing with overcrowding and finding somewhere that helps the problem, reaching for the stars. Another great poem, they seem to be coming fast and furious now.
Greenkidx - If you can fill the unforgiving minute and doesn't that just describe this story so well. Finding the time and patience to care for something or someone, no matter what has been taken from you, in this case filling a life empty but for one thing, giving to the extent of your own life, all for love. Another excellent entry.
Chel - With sixty seconds' worth of distance run, I'm pretty sure that the cat was running for a lot longer than 60 seconds. What a fright to see a mortal enemy so transformed. For some reason I was trying to read this as a poem (It's not even set out like that) but I seemed to like the flow of it all the same. Could have been as easily called How the Rat Got His Teeth.
