Re: Discussion thread -- Three Hundred Word Writing Challenge #3
Once again I've been using the voice recognition software, so for any mistake I apologise!
Ashcroft - without feeling squeezed or squashed in any way this story felt like a very full and rounded mini epic. Some great ideas and world building is in place throughout the story, that it felt you were looking in at another world. Many times when you read something like this you begin to get the feeling that it might have worked better as a much longer piece. But that is not the case here, in so many ways this just felt complete. So many ideas were present that it seemed as though a complete mythology was enfolded in the story giving it a depth that surprised me. It could well be that many more stories could come from this and it would not be the worse for it.
Moonbat - such a sad depressing piece this one, although there were plenty of hidden delights within. There was a heavy sadness running through it almost palpable despair. You could feel the loss of the so-called muse trying desperately to inspire, but the only inspiration that she was giving seemed to be darkly creative. What a sad and sorry view it gives us as a race, and what makes it seem so much worse in fact it rings true every word could virtually be taken as gospel truth because things at the muse sees are very much think that the real world, but it also shows the muse as being imperfect or at least point you in the fact she does not seem able to see good things that come from creativity as well. Ironically she saw this story a worldview would be confirmed even more. I have to say though I could not get beyond the line “damned dirty apes” without smirking.
Boneman - as always it is wonderful how diverse and different entries in the chances are. In this case it appears to me that we are taken back to the Bible, in particular the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. We get to follow the events much as they transpire in the Bible itself but the telling is a lot more contemporary. I can remember having discussions about the events that transpire here, in long forgotten religious education classes (perhaps not so forgotten), where we tried to explain in modern terms for the destruction of cities could have been like. Some form of atomic weaponry kept coming up that did not seem to fit the nature of the Bible, but then who knows what history is hidden in those ancient words. And that is the impression I got here that Sodom destroyed in nuclear conflagration while the angels did their best protect Lot and his family. Of course the real twist in this tale, is that it is not his wife that gets turned into a pillar of salt. A very interesting and well presented idea.
TJ - when I first read this I sort of scan read it, just to get a slight feel. On top of that I had not really read through the discussion thread at the same time so I was a bit behind on that, and one of my first thoughts was that it could well have been written the last 300 word challenge, even though it fitted this one so well. I think it was the beam of light that did it! On second reading the first thing that really stood out was the opening paragraph. Putting aside anything else to do with the story I thought it was a beautifully written piece of description, just beautiful to read as much as the image it brings to mind. The story itself is another strong one, bringing to mind a feeling of abject tragedy, with perhaps a triumph as well. It is always a good story that sees a presumed saviour become a force of destruction. But it is well constructed and thought out, with a personal ending as a person who saw the saviour come to the world is the one that has to end it. (Just a quick note I really like the idea of the fallen star being female).
Teresa – There was a feel of a genuine fable to this one, and that is not surprising considering it seems to be drawing on the fairy tale of Rumplestiltskin. But there is so much more to it than that, some lovely imagery, a few twists and turns, a condemnation of greed and the oh so fickle nature of royalty. I thought there was so much to like in the story like so many of the 300 word stories it carries so much more than you would have thought of 300 words. There was almost an etched in beauty to the scene where the imprisoned Princess slowly turns to stone. For a moment before that I could not see how the photo graph could have been an inspiration for the story, but as she slowly turned into a solid-state it all became clear, sad and emotional and told oh so well. But I think the end really sold the story to me an underlying punctuation that ended it perfectly. The King pragmatically put aside all things magic and finally taking a bride that came more than enough money, with no need to make it.
TDZ - in my current downbeat state I was rather disappointed that the shiver everyone else was getting did not come to me as well. But that does not mean to say this is not a superb story, it just needs to say that I'm not working properly at the moment. There is almost a sense of a perfect story construction here, however we think fits together like the best of jigsaw puzzle. All the information you need to tell the story is present, it is complete without being too complete or overwritten and the sting in the tail at the end is brilliantly presented doing precisely what is needed to finish the story in such a wonderful manner. It could so easily have been some kind of downbeat sad melancholy conclusion, that it is a testament to the writer's skill that somehow, on some level it feels so very triumphant.
Mosaix - to me it seemed that many traditional elements in this story, at the same time continuing eight excellent trend of being different to everything that has gone before without a drop in quality. It seems to be an ongoing thing these grumpy old men, that sit in their houses and suffer torment by the most disreputable of today's youth. I really wish that these youngsters would actually come to realise a lot sooner that those they torment may well have secrets of their own that are well worth avoiding. The ultimate fate of the big eared boy is almost perfect, and the delivery here is superlative. There was something very satisfying reading the story, the way it ended it just felt cosy and right. It was not a laugh aloud story, but it was certainly one that left me with a smile on my face.
