DISCUSSION THREAD -- September 75 Word Challenge

[TheDustyZebra]

That's ok, you still have a chance -- and not nearly as many entries to read through now, either!

 

[Perpetual Man]

congratulations to both our winners!

When it comes to the vote, as excellent as they bith are, I voted for PM originally...

 

[Luiglin]

Thanks for the vote High Eight and for the mentions folks.

Since Paranoid Marvin came in my top 3 my tie vote was simple.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

I voted for feed me tv first time, so i will stick with that. I liked pm's very much too, though

Thanks for the mention, alc

 

[Glen]

Well, that was a big month for me, a PB I believe with 2 x votes. Congratulations to the two winners.

Thanks to all for the mentions, categorised below. Thanks as follows:

• a nod and a wink and a "thanks" for long-listing.
• for short listing, a look of sincere surprise, and a "thank you very much"
• hand-wringing, obsequious gratitude, and a "oh, thanks, really, oh, I can't believe it, thanks so much." Well, perhaps I should rein this one in a bit - it doesn't leave me much room for manouvere - just in case I ever win. But you would be left with no doubt that I was very grateful indeed.

long list:

• crystal haven

Shortlist:

• David Evil Overlord "Glen, for his steampunk velociraptors."
• Hex - "Glen (how could the first story be so utterly perfect?)"
• Teresa Edgerton

Vote:

• Hex - "In the end, I went with my first love. For the sublime use of exclamation marks and an exotic vision of an alternative future... Glen."
• Aun Doorback - All were fun, but for me Glen's Butterfly effect wins it (or is it affect? - Damn I've got something on my shoe)

 

[Abernovo]

Congratulations to FeedMeTV and paranoid marvin. Both excellent pieces. Mr Marvin was on my original shortlist. In fact, he almost got my original vote. This time, he has.

Neck and neck.

 

[crystal haven]

Congratulations, Paranoid Marvin and FeedMeTV.

I’ve really enjoyed reading all the stories – it’s been a great month.

Thank you for the listings/mentions, Perpetual Man, Hex, Glen, Brev, Chrispenycate, HareBrain, Tisiphone, Aun Doorback, Alchemist, and Ursa major. I hope I’ve mentioned everyone. I am really delighted. Thank you.

And thank you very much Reiver for the vote – that was a lovely surprise this morning. I am amazed and really pleased to have got four votes this time.

 

[Tisiphone]

Since PM was in my short list I had to vote for him this time.

 

[Culhwch]

Two good entries but in the end I had to go with FeedMeTV - though clever I'm afraid Marvin's just didn't have enough of a narrative for me.

Many thanks to those who mentioned my story - much appreciated!

 

[HareBrain]

I voted FeedMeTV -- same reason as Cul really, though I enjoyed both.

Out of interest, now the main voting's over, did anyone get Andsdroppedov = (Yuri) Andropov in mine?

 

[Abernovo]

I got that, HB. That was the nickname when I was at school. As was Ronald Raygun after he talked up the Star Wars programme.

I think I saw something similar in a cartoon once, as well.

 

[HareBrain]

I got that, HB. That was the nickname when I was at school.

Ah -- I didn't remember that, but it probably was at mine too. (Mind you, it's pretty obvious.) He was only around for about a year, I think.

 

[Lilmizflashythang]

Well, PM was my runner up, so the vote was simple.

 

[MemoryTale]

Really gutted for missing the first round of voting, but my vote would have gone to Paranoid Marvin anyway so that's who I've voted for in the tiebreaker - breaking a second tie for the moment!

Wow, lots of mentions and shortlistings this month! And here was me getting the better half to read it for me just to make sure the pun-chline wasn't too subtle

*pounces and hugs HB for the vote*

 

[Bowler1]

Thanks Abernovo, I'm glad you liked my attempt.

Tie breaker, wow. The choice was easy for me as I'd voted for Paranoid Marvin the first time around. But its very close, so FeedMeTV (great choice of name) could still get it and rightly so. The best of luck to you both.

 

[Ursa major]

While those of us who've already voted are waiting for the result of the tiebreaker, I'd just like to point out that, number one, I managed to squeeze a shopping trolley into the story (although in two parts), and number two....

Obviously trolley is in the title, but that could be any sort of trolley. The shopping is what Mrs Potter is doing: she's shopping her husband to the police, for being drunk (and drunk in charge of a time machine, for that matter). If one were unsympathetic to Mrs Potter, you might wonder if she's a paid informant, though what fee she's rolleyes asking for this....

Speaking of which, though coprolites aren't mentioned (it would unkind to suggest that either the professor or his wife is an old fossil, let alone being an unpleasant person), they might be the cause of the professor's nickname. (He may be the potty professor, but that doesn't necessarily mean he's in any way mad.)

 

[Hex]

Wow. It's close. I liked both stories. Feed Me TV's almost made my shorter-than-a-shortlist so I voted for the kippers in the tiebreak.

This was my rejected alternative (another zombie for DEO):


"Stop him!"

"We can't! He's sealed the doors."

The white-coated intruder lowered himself from the museum ceiling and, gleaming syringe in hand, opened the largest case.

"The diplodocus!"

He injected the enormous skeleton; reanimation took seconds.

"I greet you," the man announced, as the diplodocus short-sightedly lowered its bony head, "in the name of--"

*CRUNCH*

The man's decapitated body collapsed.

Huddled in the office, they heard dinosaur's hollow moan, booming from a lungless chest.

"Braaaaiiiiinnnnn!"

 

[Teresa Edgerton]

Now that the regular voting is over, as threatened ... I mean promised, herewith my poem on the brontosaurus:

Ode to a Vanished Species

I sing the mighty Brontosaur
Who, sad to tell, exists no more,
And never did the scientists say.
(He’s really just an Apatosaurus
Those upstart apes proclaim in chorus.)
I ask, why not the other way?
Restore the Bronto’s old position
Consign the Apato to perdition!

The beast who used to walk like thunder
They’ve classified as someone’s blunder.
It’s all as Ap himself hath plotted,
For, envying long the Bronto’s fame,
And most of all, his glamorous name
(Which though in question remains unspotted)
With guile he spun his wicked lies
And said, “He’s me – but in disguise!”

And ever since we were chimpanzees
Deceiving, thus deceived with ease
(The saddest truth of our psychology)
‘Tis not a stretch so very long
To think that science could be wrong
And therefore, paleontology.
And so, my child, ‘tis only the optimists
Who put their faith in the fickle taxonomists.

And now poor Bronto, all bereft
Victim of prehistoric identity theft.
He, the noblest of all his kind,
Stripped of his name and reduced in station
From a lordly genus to a poor relation —
What use (we ask) is the elevated mind?
O, of all misfortunes the most colossal,
To be scorned as a mis-identified fossil!

L'envoi:

So let us praise in voice uproarious
All hail the mighty brontosaurus!

 

[David Evil Overlord]

Aha, yes. Regular voting is over, and those of us who did not make the tie-breaker may indulge ourselves in explicating our saurian humours, whether equipped with shopping trollies or without.

My story is an example of what a friend of mine calls my "trademark black humour".

I started off wondering how a religious dinosaur might see the earth. It's a sphere, so it made sense for them to imagine it was the egg of the great mother goddess. So touching her egg (walking on the earth) would be an act of religious devotion. Thus flight, and especially spaceflight, would be seen as turning your face (feet?) from the goddess.

The religious fanatics decided everyone had to play by their rules (now, where have I heard that before...?). So they killed all the blasphemers and destroyed their "little eggs" (space stations). Then that pesky little asteroid the size of Manhattan showed up, and they had no orbital capability left.

But they did have their faith. So they're praying real hard...

 

[Luiglin]

And here was my other entry, the first time that I've written two. Still without a shopping trolley though ...

Fun at work

“Red ball top pocket.”
“Get that and next round is on me.”
“You're on”
… click …
Stunned silence. Breath held. Realisation hits. Sudden snort of laughter
“Err … ok … I meant black ball, off the blue ball, centre pocket.”
“S'ok, the boss is colour blind, red, black, he won't know.”
Screens flicker green with data.
“Hold on didn't he have big plans for those reptiles on blue?”

Somewhat based on a Red Dwarf skit which is part why I decided not to use it.