DISCUSSION -- February 2015 75-word Writing Challenge

[willwallace]

Good job, Telford

 

[Cat's Cradle]

Congratulations, Telford!! You always put up good, interesting stories, and it's wonderful to see that result in a win for you and the bunny! Well done, and can't wait to see March's--er, this month's--challenge!

Good race, too, crystal!

 

[Culhwch]

Congrats, telford!

Many thanks to everyone who mentioned or listed my effort, and extra special thanks to holland and High Eight for the votes!!

And the winner is........... Culwitch for a lovely but sad 75-word tragedy (Now tell me I've misinterpreted it! )

Nope, pretty spot on! The MC thinks the woman is his dead wife, and follows her, only to find she isn't... but she offers a service that might help him cope, or might just make things worse. My original draft had the dead wife angle spelt out more clearly, but edits had to happen. Glad it still managed to convey the feeling that I was going for!

And apologies to Cascade for stealing your title! I didn't realise until I started to see mentions coming in, and I subsequently wished I'd done a quick scan before posting...

 

[crystal haven]

Congratulations, Telford! Well done.

Thank you for your kind comments. I've also got further than before, so I'm very happy. Now go and give that poor bunny a bath, so you can give it a big hug.

Thanks, Cat's Cradle. It was a good race. I was holding my breath for a moment there.

 

[Perpetual Man]

Congratulations telford., good to see you managed to escape the near curse of Perp's vote.

 

[Hex]

Congratulations, telford! (and bunny)

 

[Jo Zebedee]

Well done, Telford, and to Crystal for a well fought race!

 

[Moonbat]

Congrats Telford, a worthy winner.

 

[Droflet]

Thanks everyone. I'm trying to put the bunny in the washer but he's a little skittish of me, for some reason.

 

[Kerrybuchanan]

Well done Telford and commiserations to Crystal. Both great stories.

 

[Darkchrome]

Congratulations telford! It being March 1st, it only seems fitting that the rabbit should win

(And thank you to TDZ for my shortlisting!)

 

[mosaix]

Thanks for the mentions / short lists Bowler1, Cat's Cradle, Moonbat, Remedy, Juliana, Tywin, TDZ and UM. Much appreciated.

 

[Boneman]

Well done Telford, (and Crystal Haven). Though I didn't enter, I loved reading them all, and voted for the winner - second month in a row, I think.

 

[The Judge]

Congrats, telford!

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

Many congratulations to telford for a striking victory with a cheerful Rabelaisian comedy. Congratulations are also due to crystal haven for a very strong second place with an enchanting bit of surrealism which captured the "magic realism" flavor very well.

It was nice to see the remaining votes spread out among many entries in ones and twos, and I am greatly honored by those who thought my own work worthy of mention.

It was interesting to see that most authors were inspired by the theme to set their stories in a New Orleans or Rio sort of locale, with a mood of wild revelry. As soon as I saw the theme, I thought of a more sedate Carnival in Venice, with the elaborate costumes and masks which completely conceal the wearer. (Hence my use of Italian names, and my decision -- which I agonized over! -- to use the word "minuetto" instead of "minuet".) I attempted to capture the difficult style of magic realism by having my rather befuddled protagonist accept the fantastic events which happen to him calmly, if ruefully. (I trust my intended symbolism of the final revelation was sufficiently lucid without being too obvious.)

As usual, I would enjoy knowing what went into the creation of the various entries.

 

[Anne Martin]

Well done telford!

 

[Bowler1]

A party or similar for me has always been House music for me Victoria, so I drew on that experience. I did struggle for an idea until I remembered the Pied Piper, which I then promptly googled. I have to say, I was surprised by and enjoyed the rhythm used in the original poem and I've not looked at it since I was a nipper. One line, where the children are taken away dancing did it for me, a light bulb went on - and I kept that line too. Using the band Faithless came later, but that felt right for me to use. I didn't expect any votes from my post, but it would seem I'm not the only old clubber on here.

Well done Telford, good job. A good last line is all it takes and these usually appear in the 10 minute versions.

I'm off Wabbit hunting. RAY GUNS of course, so expect the smell of burning fur soon, and as we know what's stuck in this Wabbits fur, it should linger a bit....

Now rugby, I'm off.

 

[Perpetual Man]

I'm off Wabbit hunting. RAY GUNS of course, so expect the smell of burning fur soon, and as we know what's stuck in this Wabbits fur, it should linger a bit....

I can give you the location of two targets. I can make 'em easy too. Can't get far if you leave 'em in a cage.

With a target painted on them.

 

[jastius]

Congratulations Telford on your Bunnys tale! i always enjoy your stories!
Telford you made a challenge ursa will love? (starts running from the iminant inpundation... )

a belated thanks for the lovely reviews perp, dj, starbeast and victoria!

i can see that i inadvertently used a shovel and overfilled my story instead of the dessert teaspoon i should have..

my original story was about a king cake. but i think i used too much yeast because no matter how i sliced at it, it kept growing. it finally topped out at 1500 words.. so i fell back on my other idea.
the midnight unmasking, when the church bells signal the end of revelry and enchantment. and what it could mean for those creatures of enchantment born. but what if it was a good thing? if they had been trapped in an enchantment not their own?
so i wrote about a kidnapped fairy queen, kept as a mortal drudge.. from cinderella.. then added the locket holding the fabulous moon sun and star dresses from that Grims Brothers fairytale... along with the original Grizzle Beards tale where the princess becomes a drudge then is swept into the dance by the king, who is revealed at the Ball's midnight unmasking..
(and thank you for the vote karn!)
i liked a lot of the stories.. i almost voted for luigin but chrispy edged him out.. karns dancing to old flames, and starbeasts were queen, as well as culwuches love mistaken was also on the list for me.

if anyone really wants to read the cake one? ( i mean who around here likes cake.. can't see that happening..) i could put it up in crits i guess.

 

[Perpetual Man]

As we're at the end for this month. As I said earlier in the month I found this a particular challenge (which means I enjoyed it!). But it took a while before I actually felt I had a story worth using. In the first instance I think I missed the point, and was thinking more along the lines of parade rather than festival, so went with an attempted child/adult viewpoint of a Disney parade.

It was just a parade. Costumes. Masks. Lights.

*****

It was wonder and brilliance… the full-sized mouse led the way, dancing to a music, while the enchanted princess’ followed, floating, fleet of foot, or on moving marvels, dressed glittering and sparkling. The enchanted castle fairly glowed in the distance and the music was real, filling the air, while the lights sparkled above the dancing animals and people.

It was magic!

I rapidly began to rethink things, centering more on the Mardi Gras and came out with something that actually gave me the starting point of the final piece.
I

I feel the pain of my city. I see the streets battered and smashed by the rain and winds, the water that runs through the roads like a grey river. My people are gone. Or dead and if I could I would scream. Or cry.

But they will return to me, for I am their heart. I am their soul. And come the moment I will give them that which they deserve. A party of light and sound, of wonder and beauty.

For I am the Mardi Gras.

I am life!

It was all a lot of fun, and it's quite good to have had a process this month rather than just telling a single story and battering it into shape. I can't help but think back to the early days of my time in the challenges when I would have three or four stories to choose from each month....