Discussion thread -- June 2016 75-word Writing Challenge

[Bowler1]

Two quick fire reviews, bang... blam....

 

[Perpetual Man]

And a not so quick forthcoming one

At some point.

In the future

 

[Perpetual Man]

Sinister42 – What a perfectly plausible way of controlling annoying little upstarts, a different kind of use for magic, but one that is ideal for changing things without waste. The work must continue, after all.

As if a pointy-eared milksop would know anything about hard work.

Vaz – What in the beards of my grandmothers is this all about? Suggesting that a bit of manipulation on behalf of another race could lead some to covert to cannibalism? Gah, it’s the kind of thing elves would do…

Elves would do, you dwarves would have done it years ago if you didn’t taste so bad!

Cascade – There are times when everybody needs some money, so they will do what is needed. That might be selling your grandmother, robbing a bank, or in the honest cases doing a job that you hate, because it is what is best for your family.

Yeah true that. Petty all the crap jobs are provided by you lot.

Victoria – See there are those that would take the easy path, doing what they can in order to make as much money as possible with no thought to the consequences. Even the hardest workers should know when to go home and wipe the grime from their hands.

That’s an awful lot of grime in some cases.

Reiver33 – Although there are the dark ones, steeped in evil and walking the road of darkness there is often a motive hidden away to be found that might reveal different things at the heart. Of course the mass extermination of a new race is wrong. In short there are some exceptions though.

Is that a dig at size again, eh? Is it?

Luiglin – I want to groan? Am I allowed to groan? I thought the Dark Lord would have had a lot more fun entertainments than that, stretching certain sentient species over hot coals being a good one. Still, very clever.

Yawn. Your attempt at witticisms is beginning to look weaker, I mean can’t you just look at a story and talk about it without a little dig.

cab – For example: ‘A well thought out tale that plays on the idea of wishing for another two wishes. Is it allowed? Should it be allowed? Here we have the dilemma of when should the protagonist stop, should you keep going and going, and what are the consequences of a breakout?

Sanctimonious oik.

Cathbad – What wonderment, a truly enterprising masterwork that shows that just what can be done when you have the time and inclination. Some might call this a bit of a rip off, but it is pure marketing genius. I must add to notes…

Why am I not surprised?

Mr Orange – Well here we have a.. hehehe… no, elves do not have a sense of humour I will not lower myself to laugh at he… this hehe… story… hahahahahahaha…

BWAH-HA-HA-HA

 

[Starbeast]

Starbeast -- This merry romp seems as light as air, but it carries a bit of a sting in its tail.

Calliopenjo -- The wonder and attraction of magic is aptly conveyed in this intriguing fantasy.

Phtttpt. Thank you Lady Victoria for your wonderful review. It's always a pleasure to have you with us.

Starbeast - A little sense of humor always go a long way especially in this tale of Merlin’s latest selling item.

Thank you Calliopenjo for your great green review. I little tongue noise goes a long way. Phtttpt.

 

[sinister42]

Sinister42 – What a perfectly plausible way of controlling annoying little upstarts, a different kind of use for magic, but one that is ideal for changing things without waste. The work must continue, after all.

As if a pointy-eared milksop would know anything about hard work.

Free the impletariat!

 

[Vaz]

Thanks to Perp and his Elf and Dwarf commentators for the review

 

[Perpetual Man]

Ashleyne – I find it very hard to understand some of this science material, it seems strangely advanced and something that I cannot quite fathom, yet there is promise here, the idea at its core is something almost exciting. I could quite easily learn…

Don’t fool yourself, you are barely capable of tying your own shoelaces.

Coast – Here we someone with a mind that is obviously more nimble than that of, oh I don’t know, let’s say a dwarf, someone who has taken the time to think about things and given a story about magic that has been well considered and presented.

Shoes, my hairy arse, I wear boots you elven ponce.

johnnyjet – Many stories have morals to them, and this one is no different, quite close to being be careful what you wish for, you might just get it. The over-zealous creation of a single item can make dreams come true, I mean who does not like pasta! Hah!

Ow! You dwarvish knave you just stamped on my foot!

DG Jones – Oh the number of times I have been called upon to slip through a fair maidens window and plant a changeling in her belly, I never hear them complain. It does have its uses, saving a poor girl from a lecherous old goat who plants way to many seeds in the wrong beds. Ha!

Oooh, was that meant to hurt? I’ve been bitchslapped harder than that.

SB – Unicorns, magic wee beasties that sell well apparently. Magic as a means of mass production might seem a bit of a cheat to some, but I say if it works roll with it. If you have a client base and people are prepared to buy best of luck to you.

Money, money, money and profit, that’s all it comes down to with you lot.

Calliopenjo – A nebulous idea presented with the idea of using magic to create dragon kind. This is a very dangerous path on which to tread, after all who knows what might come of trying to create something so powerful with magic, but the opaque ending leaves you wondering, did it work?

Stop trying to be clever you overstretched twit, it just proves what a sanctimonious, up your own arse, pillock that you are.

Drof – Oooh I’m an elf, listen to me blather: ‘What a truly wonderful elicitation of a fabrication fable about taking the inordinate risks required to facilitate one’s financial emancipation. The willingness to do commerce with all manners of reputable and suspicious business men shows the kind of intellectual acumen that should be rewarded.’

I do not speak like that! Take it back you stumpy BLEEP.

CC – Well I’m a dwarf! ‘Ow my head hurts. This one is far too complicated. I’m too stoopid. Someone help me.’ Very well my diminutive friend, it is showing the use of magic in a far too clever and complicated manner, resulting in a regressive feedback loop that inverts back upon itself, thus ensnaring the caster with the very thing she hoped to use on her foes.

Well BLEEPY DE BLEEP you BLEEPING BLEEPER.

Ihe – An amusing warning of just what can happen when magic is used in inappropriate ways, everyone begins to become the same, transformation of the highest order becomes the lowest common denominator, familiar the same. Explains what happened to the elves then.

Listen here, you BLEEP! I’ve had enough! I’ll show you what BLEEPING magic is, if you’re not BLEEPING careful!

 

[Dan Jones]

Oh, Perp. You lovely oddball. Excellent work

 

[Perpetual Man]

Thank you, I think.

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

Shyrka -- This subtle epic fantasy suggests a new path to power.

 

[Starbeast]

SB – Unicorns, magic wee beasties that sell well apparently. Magic as a means of mass production might seem a bit of a cheat to some, but I say if it works roll with it. If you have a client base and people are prepared to buy best of luck to you.

Money, money, money and profit, that’s all it comes down to with you lot.

Heh heh. It's a great treat to have you at the reviewing helm once again Perpetual Man. Plus you've brought a friendly dwarf and spicy tongued elf to dazzle the crowd. Very cool man.

Phtttpt, exclaimed a horse.

You say something Tonto? I see you're out of your cake "sugar coma".

I had a great nap. Phtttpt. The carrot cake that Hope, Gwen and Sasha gave me went down pretty smooth. Phtttpt.

Would you mind not spitting on me.

I'm being just like those cute little unicorns from your tail, I mean, tale.. Phtttpt.

Hold your tongue horse.

I can't. It's too slippery. Phtttpt.

Ee-yuk, horse germs. Um. Tonto, my palomino, pal o' mine.

Yeeeeeez.

PHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTPT!!!

AHHHH!!! Now I've got rabies! Get away from me, you vial creature.

Oh...I'm sorry.

That's ok, you're only human, I guess. Starbeast.

Yeah.

PHTTTTTTTTTTTTTPT!!! (gallops away)

Hey! Come back here!

 

[Droflet]

Thanks Perp for the ah, review, I guess.

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

hopewrites -- By relating a seemingly ordinary activity within an exotic fantasy setting, the author makes the imaginary seem real.

 

[Mr Orange]

thanks for letting the reviewers post under your name perp - bit lazy getting a dwarf and an elf to do your work but i guess it fits the theme this month.

did i manage to get them to (kind of) agree??

 

[Perpetual Man]

Allen Teasdale – Elf migrant workers? As if we would lower ourselves to such a thing, being involved with some dwarvish contraption (obviously only they would be so mechanically minded to create such a thing). I would say that the poor human who finds such a treat in his bag of cookies got his just desserts for eating the wrong kind of foods.

Well I hope he did not eat the BLEEPING thing, he might have been BLEEPING poisoned.

Bowler1 – Do you pronounce D-A-R-K L-O-R-D as elf? It’s just the kind of thing they would do. But they don’t understand the ethos of the common worker, the tricks and strategies that need to be implemented in order to overthrow the man. Or pointy eared git.

Blah, blah, blah that’s all I hear.

Shyrka – How to take control of the world when one has the singular power to seize that control. Thinking outside of the box that allows a stalemate to be reached. Ingenious and complete with an amusing opening. I like it.

Lardy dah, aren’t we trying to rise above things. Typical elvish superiority complex.

Hope – This is the absolute truth of mass production. It should not mean a lessening of quality just a faster method of producing said quality. Like all dwarven things, we know exactly how to do this because we are that damn good. People just do not get it.

Blah, blah, blah. Still that drone in my deliciously pointed ears.

 

[Perpetual Man]

thanks for letting the reviewers post under your name perp - bit lazy getting a dwarf and an elf to do your work but i guess it fits the theme this month.

did i manage to get them to (kind of) agree??

I suppose you must have done.

Of course they would never agree that they were laughing at the same thing in your story, there were obviously different elements that appealled to each of them.

 

[hopewrites]

Thank you Victoria and Dwarf for the glowing reviews! I'm quite flattered!

 

[Bowler1]

I wonder if Perp is being held against his will by Elfs and such like. They may even want a ransom or something, you never know.

Bowler1 rummage's through his pockets and pulls out a few coins.

I have 23p here, so it's Perp or half a bag of crisps?
Crisps, or my buddy Perp.
I'm thinking, but I'm also hungry.

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

Wruter -- This comic fantasy points out some of the foibles of overproduction in modern commerce.

Cory Swanson -- The author offers a macabre yet inspiring allegory of selflessness and sacrifice.

Heijan Xavier -- This biting satire of the business world offers an unblinking look at cutthroat practices.

 

[Ashleyne]

Thanks for the reviews, Victoria and Calliopenjo. And Perp, thank your elf and dwarf on my behalf for their comical comments.