Discussion Thread -- May 2021-- 75 Word Story Challenge

[Elckerlyc]

It probably is just me, but there seemed to be a surprising number of stories this particular Challenge that I couldn't fathom, deviated from the topic too much or made no sense whatsoever (to me anyway). And I am not talking about words you have to consult either Google or Oxford's Dictionary.
It is possible my brain is suffering severely from unusual cold and wet weather during May this year. (Today actually was the first springlike day this year.)
Anyway, I did manage to do some judging.(foreshadowing)
Encouragement: @Edoc'sil ,@Peter V and @Hugh
Shortlisted: @Moonbat, @mosaix and @M. Robert Gibson
Vote: @The Judge

PS
I know, it is easy enough to criticize. Which perhaps I shouldn't as I myself didn't manage to enter a story. I had a (vague) idea about sign-language and a parent who couldn't understand what his child was saying, but unfortunately that failed to crystalize into a (comprehensible) story.

 

[The Judge]

Not just you, Elckerlyc. Quite often I can't grasp what a story is getting at, but it seemed worse than usual this month. Good idea to blame it on the weather -- it's been thoroughly wet here, too, this month and clearly all that rain and hail and general dampness would affect how we can process language and stories!

Notwithstanding rain-induced incomprehension, I was able to make a shortlist:

BT Jones -- Methuselah Speaks​

Dan Jones -- The Interpreter​

Guanazee -- Prompt Concord​

M. Robert Gibson -- And that's why the Human/Troll war started.​

Marvin -- Tower of Babel 2.0​

Parson -- Insights and Literal Translations​

reddishbird -- Bouquet​

Sinergio -- The Invisible Detail​

​

I enjoyed reading all of those, but voting was easy because I was enraptured by MRG's daft 4-way translation as soon as I read it.

I'm surprised so many people managed to make their way through the wholly unintelligible first paragraph of my story (complete with neologism-creation of my own!), so many plain-and-simple language thanks for the lovely mentions/shortlistings johnnyjet, BT Jones, Hugh, sule, Chris p (get a double-headed coin next time!), Dan (trying to outdo me in the unintelligibility stakes with one word to my near-60 ) and TDZ and mega-smiling and -kissing thanks for the wonderful votes Victoria, Parson (sorry for making so much Google-work for you!), CC (thanks for the lovely words!) and Elckerlyc! Oh, and a stealth vote from Perp -- thank you!

 

[Peter V]

A lot of worthy entries but I have narrowed it down to these three: Mr Orange, Mosaix and Daysman

and after much deliberation, Daysman edges it

 

[Daysman]

Faves first, a bit more structured than usual…

Longlist: @reiver33, @bedyak, @G.T., @Starbeast, @Edoc'sil, @Sinergio

Shortlist: @Bren G, @Peter V, @Ursa major

Vote: @The Judge

Thanks to @Dave, @Luiglin, @Hugh, @M. Robert Gibson and @Peter V for your votes, to @Cat's Cradle, @Mr Orange, @JS Wiig, @Dan Jones and @Starbeast for mentions and listings, and to @Parson and @Victoria Silverwolf for your kind comments.

Have a great bank holiday!

 

[Bren G]

Here are mine. Am very tired today, so I tended to lean towards humourous and clever. Nice job to all but there can be only one in this contest.

Short List
@Marvin - Tower of Babel 2.0 - Like Icarus, Marvin weaves a mythical tale of biblical proportions
@paranoid marvin - Fact or Fiction? Shows that history is written by the last book standing.
@Guttersnipe - The beginning of the End - a clever tale of subterfuge and spite
@mosaix - Everything you THought You Knew is Wrong - a mind bending twist on truth
@Mr Orange - Galos’o Taramet’ar (I like your sexy goose) - From slacker to destroyer in 4 short years!
@Peter V - Monolith - A tourist trap of a tale if I've ever seen one

Runner Up
@M. Robert Gibson - And that's why the Human/Troll war started - word play at it's finest!

Vote:
@Daysman - FELIX CULPA - shows us that it is not survival of the fittest, but rather, the incompetent

 

[Bren G]

Thank you @Artoriarius for your thoughtful vote! Also, @Daysman , @paranoid marvin , @Starbeast for your mentions!

 

[Ursa major]

​

The poll has closed and we have a winner:

Congratulations, Daysman!​

​

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

Many congratulations!

 

[JS Wiig]

Congrats @Daysman !

 

[mosaix]

Congratulations, @Daysman!

 

[Luiglin]

Congrats @Daysman, well deserved, great punchline and got my vote.

No votes or mentions to thank, so mine is is either, 'I don't get it' or 'that is naff'.

The base premise is of a Druid who gets called in to act as a translator and talk to plants by horticulturists who think they can, but can't. The tale includes a mishmash of a couple of pop references. Audrey, the killer singing plant from Little Shop of Horrors and the King, being Elvis, and two lines from his song "A Little Less Conversation" from 1968 and brought to a new audience via a Ocean's Eleven in 2001 and the 2002 Nike advert as remixed by Junkie XL (the title and the last line). I had thought about using Queen but as soon as I read the 75 theme that song sprung into my head as a sort of singing duet version of the duelling banjos, in this case between a killer plant and a druid.

 

[Dave]

I thought @Daysman was most self-sacrificing there to give his vote to @The Judge thereby putting her into the lead above him at that time. So, it is karma that he has won in the end. I think those two deserved the 1st and 2nd places, but the competition was of a very high standard. Even the stories that got le point zéro were excellent so no shame in that.

 

[nixie]

Congratulations @Daysman.

Remember every entry is a winner, regardless of votes or mentions.

 

[Ian Fortytwo]

Congratulations @Daysman .

 

[Elckerlyc]

Congratulations @Daysman!

 

[Hugh]

Congratulations to both @Daysman and @The Judge . Excellent stories!

 

[The Judge]

Congratulations, Daysman! And thank you for the vote!

I was really happy to get so many votes and shortlistings so again thank you all! (Though those who had me coming in second place have been noted in a black book and better step up with the vote next time... )

For those who were confused by my story but don't believe in Googling entries, aphasia is a condition (or rather a group name for several associated conditions) where damage to the brain causes a person to lose the ability to comprehend language and/or communicate intelligibly -- those living with it can speak, and remain intelligent, but they can't express themselves properly and/or clearly. I was glad Dan used the word "ironic" as that was one point I was trying to make -- that the professional, using jargon, is truly the one with a language deficit, unable to make himself understood, or rather not properly attempting to do so, and as such it does seem to be an untreatable condition for some people**. The other moral of the story is as Parson picked up, that real love transcends language.

As for word use: agrammatism, dysprosody and neologism-creation are all real symptoms of aphasia (respectively the inability to put a fully grammatical sentence together, inability to control how words are spoken, and excessive creation of new words in place of usual words); nanoparticles, efficient bioconjunction, metamaterials, molecular targeted therapy and cellular surgery are all genuine terms (but I haven't the faintest idea what any of them mean!); the caudate nucleus is a part of the brain which deals with language among other things; and the word I made up was "permitivize" as I wanted something more grandiose-seeming than just "permit" and it sounded suitably jargonistic. And just to press home the language issue, a couple of languages cropped up, too, though I don't know if anyone noticed or clicked -- the husband is Mr French, and the name I gave the aphasia based on the supposed person to identify it, Rusnak, is a genuine surname which means Russian in Polish.


** years ago I was with my then senior partner who was meeting clients and explaining a legal problem to them, and after virtually each sentence the couple would wordlessly turn to me and I had to translate what he'd said into plain English...

 

[M. Robert Gibson]

Well done @Daysman . Happy I backed a winner

And congratulations to @The Judge for a speech that Sir Humphrey Appleby would be proud of

And a big thank you to @The Judge. @BT Jones and @reddishbird for the votes, which meant I came in joint third with BT Jones , although with such a good spreading of votes it means that 2 votes is joint fifth, one vote is joint sixth and no votes is a creditable joint seventh place out of the magical 42 entries. Well done all

And finally, I would like to thank everyone for the mentions. Probably the biggest haul of mentions I've had (10 if I've counted correctly)

Oh, and finally finally, thanks to everyone for reading and entering

 

[mosaix]

Thanks for the mentions / shortlists @johnnyjet, @BT Jones, @M. Robert Gibson, @Starbeast, @TheEndIsNigh, @Dan Jones, @emrosenagel, @JS Wiig, @Cat's Cradle, @Elckerlyc, @Peter V and @Bren G

A special thanks to @Ian Fortytwo and @nixie for the votes.

I don't think I've been on so many shortlists before - so near and yet so far. Must try harder.

 

[paranoid marvin]

Congratulation Daysman!

And thanks so much to Bren G, JS Wiig, chrispenycate, Hugh, Starbeast and M Robert Gibson for the shortlistings.