DISCUSSION THREAD -- January 2022 -- 300 Word Writing Challenge #44

I voted for @Phyrebrat Third Player, I thought this did a great job of telling a tragic story without being overly sentimental.

and @Dan Jones Sir Reginald Rigmarole stars in…“A TRIP TO THE SEASIDE”, Even though the Reggie stories are absurd I reckon he embodies a rare person that everyone knows or has met. The sort of person who bursts into wherever they are and announces 'I am here to do the thing'. Someone who lives life inside a bubble of their own self importance, and the world would be boring without them ...go on, write a book Dan;)

and @Daysman A Tiny Odyssey, Had to give this a vote as it was so well written. It reeled me in with tidy narrator comments that made the thing flow.

Thanks all for the stories, and thanks to our reviewers and organizers -ye know who ye are, fair play.
 
Well, I overcame my anguish at being disqualified and voted for:

Astro Pen
Paranoid Marvin
Phyrebrat

Here is my ineligible (overlong) entry:


The Virtual Wedding

After sitting down with the salesman, Susan and Mark decided to purchase the virtual reality wedding.

“Are you sure it will be legal?” asked Mark.

“Of course! We put a fully qualified minister in there with you. Everyone else will be simulated. We also have an Elvis if you’d like. Special offer this week.”

“No thank you.” said Mark.

“Alright,” said the salesman. “I have you down for the gothic church, white wedding, traditional organ music. Would you like us to take care of your wedding night too?”

“Uh?” said Susan.

“Well,” said the salesman, blushing a little, “Our avatars are fully functioning. And we offer a charming tudor hotel with log fires and four poster bed. Right beside the church. Just a small additional cost.”

“Oh, let’s do it,” said Mark. “It will be fun!”

****

When it was over they sat in the recovery room together.

“Your avatar didn’t look much like you.” said Susan.

The salesman entered the room, looking concerned.

“There have been some problems,” he said. “Unfortunately we got you crossed with the couple in the next room.”

“You mean….?” said Susan

“Yes.” said the salesman.

“Can we get an annulment?” asked Mark.

“We don’t offer virtual reality annulments. Not much demand.”

“Wait! You said ‘some’ problems.” said Mark.

“Your avatar impregnated hers.”

“That’s ridiculous,” said Susan. “Just edit the programming! Delete it!”

“I’m afraid she’s decided to keep it. Religious reasons. Here’s our annual avatar maintenance cost sheet. Note the monthly payment plan.”

“But this is your fault!” exclaimed Mark.

“It most certainly is not! Virtual contraception was easily available within the simulation.”

“He’s right, Mark. Top drawer by the bed.” said Susan.

“Anything else?” Mark asked the salesman, sarcastically.

“No, thank you for your business. I do hope you will consider us for your next wedding.”
 
Christine Wheelwright said:
Well, I overcame my anguish at being disqualified and voted for:

Astro Pen
Paranoid Marvin
Phyrebrat

Here is my ineligible (overlong) entry:


The Virtual Wedding

After sitting down with the salesman, Susan and Mark decided to purchase the virtual reality wedding.

“Are you sure it will be legal?” asked Mark.

“Of course! We put a fully qualified minister in there with you. Everyone else will be simulated. We also have an Elvis if you’d like. Special offer this week.”

“No thank you.” said Mark.

“Alright,” said the salesman. “I have you down for the gothic church, white wedding, traditional organ music. Would you like us to take care of your wedding night too?”

“Uh?” said Susan.

“Well,” said the salesman, blushing a little, “Our avatars are fully functioning. And we offer a charming tudor hotel with log fires and four poster bed. Right beside the church. Just a small additional cost.”

“Oh, let’s do it,” said Mark. “It will be fun!”

****

When it was over they sat in the recovery room together.

“Your avatar didn’t look much like you.” said Susan.

The salesman entered the room, looking concerned.

“There have been some problems,” he said. “Unfortunately we got you crossed with the couple in the next room.”

“You mean….?” said Susan

“Yes.” said the salesman.

“Can we get an annulment?” asked Mark.

“We don’t offer virtual reality annulments. Not much demand.”

“Wait! You said ‘some’ problems.” said Mark.

“Your avatar impregnated hers.”

“That’s ridiculous,” said Susan. “Just edit the programming! Delete it!”

“I’m afraid she’s decided to keep it. Religious reasons. Here’s our annual avatar maintenance cost sheet. Note the monthly payment plan.”

“But this is your fault!” exclaimed Mark.

“It most certainly is not! Virtual contraception was easily available within the simulation.”

“He’s right, Mark. Top drawer by the bed.” said Susan.

“Anything else?” Mark asked the salesman, sarcastically.

“No, thank you for your business. I do hope you will consider us for your next wedding.”
Click to expand...


Hey thankyou for the vote, it's much appreciated. :)

And thankyou for sharing your story with us. That was really well done; imaginative, and with a great twist. It reminded me very much of the type of story that Charlie Brooker would do for the tv series Black Mirror (and that is very high praise indeed). It's a real shame you missed out this time around, but there's always another Challenge available now or coming soon. If you haven't already done so, try the 100 word Anonymous Challenge over in the Workshop.
 
Here be my votes, shorts and thoughts.


My votes:

Parson. I loved your story; it kept me guessing to the end. And I was so pleased that Rebekah got a happy ending.

Daysman. I really liked your story. Both the dialogue and the descriptive prose worked beautifully together.

Mouse. What a fun story. I have a feeling you enjoyed writing it as much as I enjoyed reading it.


My shortlist:


Stuart Suffel. An inventive, original and well told tale in the best traditions of the Brothers Grimm.

Astro Pen. An story full of emotion, with great dialogue and a bitter-sweet ending.
 
Bren G: The clever way in which the mood of this story begins in a seemingly innocent way, than evolves into something darker, fits the way the protagonist changes. A classic symbol of temptation is used to raise the important question of whether our actions are right, even if we think they are.

Elckerlyc: The way in which fact and fable merge in this intricately crafted tale causes the reader to ponder the thin line between what is actual and what is imaginary. A subtle third level of reality adds to the theme.

Perpetual Man: In this dark fantasy we find not only vivid and evocative descriptions, but psychological depth as well. The main character's decision to accept an ambiguous honor reflects difficult choices we all must make.

The Judge: A true sense of the otherworldly fills this romantic fantasy. Authentic dialogue and believable characters render the extraordinary as convincing as the mundane.

worldofmutes: The surrealistic plot of this self-consuming story draws the reader's attention with the same fascination as a Möbius strip. Much more than a mathematical joke, however, the work also serves as a parable for the cycle of life.

Ursa major: The chilling calm of the narrative structure of this all-too-plausible horror story is far more effective than any use of exaggerated emotions could ever be. It is even more frightening to realize that some would welcome such a situation.

The Big Peat: The symbolic, allegorical nature of the characters in this story does not prevent them from seeming as familiar as our own acquaintances. The way in which the protagonist controls the situation from behind the scenes reminds us that quiet actions are often more powerful than melodramatic ones.

Abernovo: A familiar but important part of human culture meets the challenges of the future in this science fiction story. The fact that some things do not change very much, even when others are nearly unrecognizable in their new forms, assures us that civilization will continue.
 
Very difficult. So many excellent and unique tales. However, finally, my Favorites and Top Three:

The Laughing Woman - Victoria Silverwolf
What Am I? – Guttersnipe
Here, inside - Astro Pen
The Old Ways – Aknot
White (Lie) Wedding - Peter V
The Colors of Fireflies - Cat's Cradle
The Night Stair - paranoid marvin
Third Player – Phyrebrat
Getting to Cloud 9 – Mouse
A Tiny Odyssey – Daysman
Careful What You Play – Elckerlyc
Wedding Dressing - The Judge
 
Shortlist:
Here, inside. by Astro Pen
...of the same coin by Luiglin
Life Changes in a Moment by Parson

Votes:
The Laughing Woman by Victoria Silverwolf
All Rise by Rafellin
Sir Reginald Rigmarole stars in…“A TRIP TO THE SEASIDE” by Dan Jones
 
What an array of stories. Mouse's picture must have really lit a fire in our authors this month.

Shortlisted these stories because:

Here, inside by @Astro Pen: the story made me think about the an SF trope more deeply.

The Old Ways by @Aknot: the story made me think of the honor of personal sacrifice and the ancient horror of paganism.

Third Player by @Phyrebrat: the story made me think about a potential lie in the statement "till death do us part" and also the line "she proceeds from nave to knave."

Angles by @Stuart Suffel: the story was utterly Machiavellian.

Getting to Cloud 9 by @Mouse: the story was highly original and very surprising, and also I laughed at the line: "not to mention the size difference. Just… ow."

Careful What You Play by @Elckerlyc: the story is such a clever retelling of a classic tale.

Okay, it's a good thing we get three votes because I don't think I could say which story I liked so much better than the others that I would never change my mind.

Voted for:
@Aknot .... "The Old Ways"
@Phyrebrat ..... "Third Player"
@Mouse .... "Getting to Cloud 9"
 
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