Stupid things that won't happen

[Ender]

Just to have some fun as we've got some serious discussions in other threads...

Post a stupid thing that won't happen but may put a smile to the reader...

such as...

Lord Frey joining the Night's Watch (remember no woman there)

 

[red_temple]

Littlefinger ditches Sansa for a torrid love fling with Ser Loras Tyrell.

 

[Dolorous Edd]

The Night's Watch, lined up for battle against a huge army of other's, all drop dead from shock when Dolorous Edd finally says something positive and cheerfully announces "lads, I think we can win this!"

 

[nixie]

Dolorous Edd becomes the King of Westros

 

[Ender]

All bastards in Westeros create a new House.

Bastards House with Jon Snow (he's not a Stark as Stannis pretends damnit!) as Lord *******.

^^

 

[Duff_Omathum]

Sam gets into shape and slays the Ser Gregor in single combat!

Tyrion's nose grows back and he has a crazy threesome with Cersei and Walder Frey!

Arya gives up on revenge and settles down with Hodor on a nice potato farm.

 

[Winters_Sorrow]

Catelyn & Hodor form a travelling comedy troupe.
"Dumb and Dumber"...

 

[red_temple]

Greatjon Umber gives up the sword to raise kittens.

 

[AryaUnderfoot]

Ser Gregor wakes up one day to realize what a monster he's been. He vows to put down his sword and remain celibate for the rest of his life, and travels barefoot throughout the kingdom preaching for peace and understanding while wearing flowers in his hair. He also reveals that he is afraid of spiders.

 

[Riva]

Hahaha, good ones . I can't think of any. Maybe i should try.. Nah..

 

[cercar]

Ned Stark is brought back to life as a skeleton by Thoros and proceeds north to find Jon and reveals his true parentage in sign language. Ned then proceeds to Kings Landing and kicks cersei in the shins for all eternity.

 

[cyborg_cinema]

Ender Wiggin decides not to join the International Fleet, and makes peace with his big brother, Peter.

 

[Ender]

LMAO !!
It's supposed to be about ASOIAF !!

Unless you want Ender Wiggin to kick everyone's ass at GGRR world with a Laser.

PS: Peter is *******.Just for the record...

 

[cyborg_cinema]

Peter is *******.Just for the record...

...Ender should have broke his arm too.

 

[red_temple]

Ser Gregor wakes up one day to realize what a monster he's been. He vows to put down his sword and remain celibate for the rest of his life, and travels barefoot throughout the kingdom preaching for peace and understanding while wearing flowers in his hair. He also reveals that he is afraid of spiders.

LOL!!!

and he helps the Greatjon raise kittens...

 

[Dolorous Edd]

Danny invandes Westeros and like Aegon before her she has but a small army.... and her Dragon's. Opposing them is a much larger force. The enemy charge.

Danny raises her hand and points at her enemines, "Drogon," she commands, "Dracarys!"

Drogon turns to Rhaegal and says (in Dragon speak) "Always with the "Dracary's"! Burn this Drogon, burn that Drogon! What does she think i am? Some kind of walking barbeque?! She can cook her own bloody meals from now on! I'm leaving home!"

And with that he takes off and fly's away. After a brief discourse his brothers follow.

"Drogon? Rahegal...."

The thunder of hooves drowns out her words.

----

 

[Culhwch]

The ******* of Bolton falls for his captive, Theon Greyjoy. Roose doesn't approve, so the ******* and Theon run off and start an interior decorating firm in Lys.

 

[Rosemary]

Sersei decides to open a home for 'unwanted dragons'. Meanwhile Septon Celladar, a drunken devout, gives up the booze and religion so that he can help Sersei. They decide to have the new 'dragon's lairs' redecorated and send a flying pig to Theon and the ******* to come and give them a quote.

 

[Summer]

Varys becomes Lord commander of Nights watch.
He uses dead bodies like his birdies, they spy for him the Others.

 

[Rosemary]

Turnip the pot girl is adopted by Ser Loras Tyrell and Princess Myrcella, sister of Joffrey Baratheon. They go and live with Varys the Eunuch who has married Chataya, the owner of an expensive brothel.