Stupid things that won't happen

I really couldn't care less whether or not people use the u's, write gaol or jail, or anything like that. But I do have issues with the latest trends of writing "ur", "u", "lol", and throwing numbers in. That, and when people write "lite," "nite," etc. That's taking laziness to the extreme. If there's anything that can really make a person sound like an idiot...
 
Florian the Fool said:
By the way, did you know that in Shrewsbury, it is still legal to shoot a Welshman with a longbow?

And Chester as well, apparently. But then, why the hell would any one in their right mind want to go to either? ;)
 
Florian the Fool said:
Why, to shoot Welshmen, of course. I considered it briefly the last time you beat us at rugby.

I meant why would any welshman want to go to either! :rolleyes: God, you English are soooo stupid! ;) Don't worry, i considered shooting Englishmen when we got b*ggered in the lions tour. If that dumb feck of a coach of yours had put more of the welsh squad in his team's we'd have walked it! :D
 
Back to the topic, heaven forbid....

Dany takes over Westeros using a canny political platform, promising to remove all unnecessary U's from the language and provide free burritos for all. The commoners realise they have the power, toss their smarmy lords, and elect the Seven Kingdom's first democratic government...
 
throw another child on the fire lord barstard no hang sorry that was the americans potraiyal of titanic i apologise
 
i have to disagree if theirs some stupid thing that may have just the slightest chance of happening it bloody will for me sister and i knew was gonna happen and some how in a way i will never understand it will be my fought and i smile and say bugger
 
Hi Skinny. There's been no official word yet, but GRRM confesses that he's already written half of the material for it and removed it to release A Feast for Crows.
Estimates are quite optimistically ranging around about October '06.


EDIT: Actually Amazon.co.uk are listing it as Feb 07. Let's hope I'm closer to the mark :)

How did you find A Feast for Crows? Have you been impatiently chomping at the bit for the last 5 years too? :D
 
Florian the Fool said:
Daenerys travels to the far flung and exotic city of Asshai by the Shadow, where a fat and greedy merchant feeds her a strange new food called Bur Ito. Dany enjoys the Bur Ito so much that she gives the fat and greedy merchant all three dragons in exchange for the recipe.

She sails to Westeros, where the massed armies of the seven great houses await her. She rides to parlay under a peace flag, and feeds the lords of the seven houses Bur Ito. The lords are overwhelmed with the wonderous new food, and bend the knee, swearing undying fealty to the Lady of Bur Ito, and peace is brought to the Seven Kingdoms.

But the Bur Ito proves to wreck terrible havoc on the digestive systems of the Westerosi, and soon there are murmurings and threats of open rebellion. But by a strange co-incidence, these same digestive problems prove to be a most valuable weapon against the invading horde of wights and Others, after the teenage Rickon Stark discovers that by bending over near a lit torch and eating Bur Ito, he can create a jet of flame twenty feet long.

Haha...
Daenerys Stormborn, the Bringer of Bur Itos, the Unburnt, Queen of Meereen, Queen of the Andals and the Rhoynar and the First Men, Khaleesi of Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Shackles and Mother of Dragons...
 
Greywind-headed Robb is re-animated and joins his mother on a quest for vengeance. Jeyne is upset at first, but eventually comes around. They remarry and have many many children, the first of whom is the real PTWP.
 
Arya comes back as a face changer after her ordination. Dany gains control of the throne. Arya takes the shape of Barristan kills Dany and then takes Dany's shape.

Nymeria becomes the Lord of Winterfell, Cold hands (after Jon's Death) becomes the Lord of the wall. Bran with his greensight becomes the new Varys, and Hodor the Captain of the Kingsguard.

Sansa studies under moonboy and is relentless tortured in court by un - Dany. Tyrion becomes the head of Casterly Rock and offers all whores amnesty. Casterly Rock becomes Amsterdam. (Minus Ajax)

FrankenGregor unionizes the others and have nightly Bolton concerts.

Cersei starts a sit com with Jon Goodman.

The Dornish discover Campari and wage war on the Iron islands for their Seltzer resources.

And all the Bravoosi die in a massive duel.

the end

(sorry i have reread every chapter that was a POV of Jaime of
feast for Crows and now realize i have to reread all his POV's in a storm of swords to find a quote that may indicate aegon the VI is under casterly rock)
 
Last edited:
Ygritte comes back to life and attaches herself to Stannis, becoming the new Mellisandre. Households everywhere tremble with fear when they hear the infamous, "You know nothing..."
 
After both Gregor and Sandor are healed by Bran aka Jesus, they have a tearful and happy reunion which leads us quickly to yet more twincest.
 
I never thought I would see the name of Jesus and the word twincest being uttered in the same sentence.

May hats off to you FW. :)
 
Rattleshirt, after being executed by Stannis, comes back to life as a skeleton and begins wearing human flesh as his armor and gains the name squishyshirt.
 
Knowing GRRM, that could happen.
Nynaeve from WOT appears, tugs her braid right off and strangles Melisandre with it. She, unfortunately, does not die in the attempt.
 

Back
Top